Desperate Measures

While Hermione worked for Death Eaters on her first two days, Harry was sitting in Dumbledore's office - well, perched would be a better word.

Like his father before him - Harry was now an animagus. His transformation had been worked on for a year and was top secret, between himself and Dumbledore only. Harry had turned into a phoenix. It had been the Hogwarts headmaster's idea - brilliant mind that man had. As a phoenix with similar markings to Fawkes - he could stay in school and close to Dumbledore where Voldemort would not come near. Harry was safe until it was time to fight. As a phoenix, Harry could be killed time and time again as long as his ashes were picked up and pocketed by the right side, not to mention the healing powers of his tears and strength. As a phoenix, he was showing loyalty to the older wizard, his mentor.

But it was blimming uncomfortable on that perch, sharing with the real Fawkes. Fawkes didn't seem his presence and even nodded sympathetically to the animagus he once off balanced and fell off the perch onto the floor below in an indignant, squawking heap. Dumbledore had laughed merrily before picking Harry up gently and putting him on his desk as he checked for broken bones or concussion.

This was saving his life - but he was certain it wasn't saving Ron's which he felt so disloyal for. It was a boring existence. Dumbledore had tried to make up for it by talking animatedly about plans with the Order, spells, charms and transformations he had gone through himself to become the wizard he was today. But Harry missed his friends - and that was what bothered him most - he couldn't help them, couldn't see the long-term benefits of his efforts ahead of time. But he missed being able to walk and he especially missed quidditch.

It wasn't like Harry to sit around and wait while the action was going on and he didn't want Hermione exposed to Death Eaters doing Merlin knows what. Even though every member in the Order had been notified and they were working full time to get Ron and help Hermione.

Harry felt like a stone had sunk to the bottom of his stomach every time he thought about Ron and the Weasley family. How Molly and Arthur must be suffering, not to mention the other six siblings who were also fighting with their concern for Harry and Hermione - where they had disappeared.

He had heard that Molly was grieving like Ron was already dead. She was preparing for the worst, knowing that Voldemort's regime was not merciful and going mad with the pain of not knowing where he was, whether he was dead or alive and what horrors was he being subjected to.

Harry had gone with Dumbledore as a faux Fawkes to see the Weasley family when he made a visit personally to update progress on the case. All the Weasleys apart from Ginny and the twins who were working a few hours there and then, were working full time, tirelessly, searching and researching into Ron's disappearance.

Molly Weasley was beside herself, trying to be brave when she worked with the Order, but when home, dissolving into despairing tears when Ron's name was mentioned. The other Weasley children had rallied round their parents in a grim silence, their faces drawn.

Arthur Weasley had aged ten years in the past day Harry thought when he first saw him. He had shut himself away in work, and when home, he would cling to his wife as if she needed his help to stand. Harry had cringed at the sight of the family who believed they were bereaved.

Harry had gone from feeling bad to feeling like a traitor when Fred had asked after him. He wanted to transform and run to them and grieve with them, cry with them and stay and tell them that the Order would find them. Harry was never surprised at the family's closeness. Dumbledore had told the family that both Harry and Hermione had not been round because both were looking for Ron around the clock.

Harry's previous disappearance had not been mentioned and Percy had muttered something about the two young people not putting their own lives in danger and how they shouldn't in case is was made a triple tragedy and all three were killed.

It wasn't as if Harry had been lying about his disappearance or that he was working to save Ron. Harry was working to save them all in the end. How could he possibly feel guilty for something he hadn't done? - Yes he could. Not doing something, that was the problem. The Weasleys were worrying unnecessarily for him and friends were being led to believe he was undergoing dark transformations - or buggered off travelling - sod to hell with the rest of the world!

If Harry had his way, he wouldn't be in hiding as if he was scared, as an illegal animagus. He would have gone out days ago and found Ron, killed Death Eaters and this mess would all be over. He also wouldn't have sent Hermione to go do his dirty work - use her faked feminine charms instead of that marvellous brain of hers, not that her original ones weren't tempting, but she wasn't exactly to everyone's taste Harry thought irrelevantly, shaking his head as if to offload the idea.

Harry wanted this torture over, so he could go on to defeat Voldemort, he wanted to finally live his life.