In The Library

I watched her working, ruffling my hair as I stared at her on the other side of the library. She leaned over a first years' paper, tutoring him in some subject or another. She was so smart, so beautiful. I loved the way she wanted to help people. She brushed her tangled hair out of her face, and took a quill out of her bag to correct a mistake in the boy's essay. Lucky kid, why couldn't I be him? Madame Pince's cough reminded me I still had my own work to do.

I carefully turned the page in the potions book, the one I was borrowing from the restricted section. You would think it would be more interesting, but it was almost as dry as Professor Binn's classes. I wished for that kind, helpful girl to be over here helping me with my essay. Does she count as a woman now? She certainly seems like a woman. Bloody Snape and his horribly long essays. She, however, had probably finished her own home work long ago. I scratched down a few more words onto the parchment. I should at least look as if I'm trying. She probably already thinks I'm stupid, but I can at least try to get her on my good side. Maybe. I suppose I should just be happy that we're friends, but it's so hard...

I sighed and peered at my beloved again, immediately correcting myself that she was not at all 'mine.' She was probably still enraptured with that stupid Krum boy. I tried to rid myself of those thoughts so as not get too angry, but it was hard. I turned and looked back at my mate sitting across from me at the table, dutifully working on his potion's essay. If he can figure it out, I can too. I was determined not to ask for help. At least not from him. If she offered help, that would be a different matter, entirely!

My mind wandered again, but to Quidditch this time. We hadn't had practice today, because of the rain, but I longed to be out on a broom, flying free. Getting away from the thoughts that haunted me. I wondered what my long-haired girl thought of my flying. She isn't yours! But did she watch me with the same rapture that I watch her as she reads? Of course not! Is there any possible way she could fancy me too? Are you out of your mind? I both had hope and despair, my thoughts were not together and they seemed to be getting more and more complex. I didn't know how much longer I could handle this. Did she have thoughts like this? Would she tell me how you found out if a girl liked you? No, that would just be embarrassing... What would happen if I just walked over there and kissed her. I really am going mad...

My mind could just not leave that beautiful girl, so I shook myself and gathered my papers. I mumbled to my friend about going back to the common room, and quickly left the almost silent library. I needed to be alone, to work things out. Snape's essay could wait!