When Your World Crumbles

When Your World Crumbles

Sometimes, when your world crumbles, you wonder how you didn't suspect that it would happen.

I should've seen the signs. My boyfriend was always acting suspicious. In fact, he even told us he was hiding something! But, I was too stupid and pig headed to see it. Even when I knew that he was up to something, I just shrugged it off, thinking that it was just another one of those things that doesn't really matter.

I've always been a bit of a tomboy. all of my friends are guys. Well, I wouldn't exactly call them my friends. My acquaintances, we'll say. Except for Vinny. He's always been my friend.

I suppose it all began in my first year when I got sorted. I knew that I would be a Slytherin. Everyone knew I would be a Slytherin. The whole world knew, I suppose. So, when I was called up, got that stupid hat put on my head, and it yelled, "Slytherin!" I wasn't the least bit surprised.

It was then that I met him. Him. A good looking boy with blonde hair and a smile that could make any girl melt. I had a crush on Draco instantly, and I kept that crush for years. I didn't care if he was calling me a pigged nose slut or a suck up, I loved him.

I was just that stupid.

Blaise had tried telling me once that he was just using me, but I didn't believe him. He wasn't my friend.

Greg had tried telling me several times (once he got the concept sorted out in his peanut sized brain) that Draco didn't like me, but I just ignored him. He wasn't my friend.

Vinny wanted to tell me, I know. but, he didn't. He knew that I loved Draco, and he never questioned anything I did.

It never really hit me that Draco didn't love me till that night in our 6th year. That night. you know the one I'm talking about.

Just that day Draco had held me, telling me that I meant the world to him. That he would never hurt me. That he would never leave me. How I loved him then!

And how I hate him now.

I woke up in the middle of the night to screams. I got up and went down to the Slytherin common room. People were rushing out the door, yelling words that I couldn't understand. That's when Vinny ran up to me. "He's gon! Draco's gone! He wasn't in our dorm. Oh no. What has he done?"

Vinny and I ran out the door, up the stairs, looking for Draco. We found our way outside. There it was, hovering over a tower: the dark mark.

For a second, I thought to myself, "No, Draco would never do anything like this. How could he? He loves me. He would never do this. He would never leave me."

Then, I saw him. I saw Draco running. Being dragged along by Professor Snape. I only saw him for a second. Our eyes met. In my eyes, I said, "Come back! I love you! I'll help you!"

But, in his, he said, "I hate you. I always have hated you. I always will hate you."

Then, he vanished.

My world had crumbled.

~+~*~+~

The next few weeks went by slowly. I hardly remember the last few days of school. All I know is that everyone was looking at me, hatred in their eyes. Despising, cruel eyes. Everyone's eyes hated me. Everyone's but Vinny's.

I think it was the way he would look at me that kept me alive. How his eyes said, "Don't blame yourself. You're wonderful. You're beautiful. It's not your fault."

I think the worst part was Dumbledore's funeral. I had never liked the old man, but it still made me cry. I cried for Draco. I cried for myself.

Then, I caught site of that red headed Weasley girl. She gave me a spiteful, hate filled look that said it all. It said that I was stupid. That I was cruel. That I was evil. That I didn't deserve to live.

I cried even harder then.

I looked around, trying to find someone to comfort me. Blaise gave me a look that said, "Get away from me, pig!" Milly -awkward, confused Milly, who had never been good enough- looked at me and snorted, her eyes saying the same as Blaise's. I looked over at Greg. He didn't even bother to looked at me.

Then, I saw Vinny.

He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "It'll be alright. You'll see," his eyes said.

My world stopped crumbling then.

~+~*~+~

That summer, I came to Hogwarts, to visit Dumbledore. I don't really know why I did it. Maybe I just needed to say that I was sorry.

I stopped before his grave and said the only two words that I could choke out. "I'm sorry."

I cried a lot, right then. It was just me. Me and Dumbledore. Me and this poor, foolish, trusting man. Me and someone who shouldn't have ever been killed.

Then, I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. "I thought you'd be here."

I look up. Vinny. My one true friend.

I hug him. He hugs back. For a while, we just sit on the grass, a gentle, summer breeze drying my tears.

Then, he looks into my eyes and says the one thing that Draco never did. "I love you, Pansy."

A small smile comes across my face. "I love you, too, Vinny."

Then, I look up into his eyes just to make sure.

His eyes say, "I love you."