The Pensieve

Secrets

It was two weeks after the Pensieve incident. Harry had been spending the last few weeks at the Weasley's house. He hadn't wanted to stay at Grimmauld Place. It was too depressing, and plus, he didn't want to get roped into any more spy duty. You never knew what you would run into on those missions.

He, Ron, and Hermione were currently standing on the Muggle side of Platform 9 3/4, waiting for Ginny to go through so they could follow. They were running slightly late (as usual) and Mrs. Weasley wasn't in the best of moods.

"Alright, you three! Hurry up now! You're going to miss the train, and you will not be allowed to take the car this time!"

Harry and Ron looked away guiltily, but Hermione said, "Actually, Mrs. Weasley, I've never taken your car to school!"

Molly gave her a stern look, and the trio ran through the barrier sniggering.

They burst through the other side to the usual pandemonium. They quickly stowed their trunks and found an empty compartment. As Harry closed the door, he caught sight of Draco. He flashed the pale boy a winning smile, and Draco returned the favor with a secretive wink.

Harry turned back around, not realizing he still had a smile on his face.

"Well, honestly, Harry, what are you so happy about?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing," Harry said quickly. "I was just...thinking."

Ron looked at him concernedly. "You've been action really secretive lately, Harry. You should tell us what's up!"

"Yeah!" Hermione chimed in. "You always tell us everything!"

Harry sighed. He felt bad about keeping secrets from the two of them, but he felt that this was a secret they didn't need to know, at least, not for the time being.

"I can't tell you what I was thinking about just now, but I can tell you something that happened to me this summer."

He proceeded to tell them about the pensieve, conveniently forgetting to mention that Draco had any part in his story.

"Oh, Harry, that's terrible!" Hermione moaned.

"Don't know how you do it, mate," Ron said. "I would've gone mad if it had been me!"

Harry grinned. "Well, I guess I'm just tougher than you." He winked at Ron. "Anyway, I'll just be glad for the moment that you can't accuse me of hiding things from you both."

Hermione smiled mischievously. "Yes we can! You still haven't told us why you were smiling!"

"Oh, that's nothing. Just a happy memory."

"Come on, Harry!" Ron whined. "Tell us!"

"I was just thinking of...the...er...the first time I rode a broomstick," Harry lied. It sounded lame, even to him.

Ron and Hermione stared at him. "And...why were you thinking that?" Hermione asked.

"It was just a random memory, I guess." He felt terrible about lying to his two best friends, but he really felt that they would be happier not knowing.

It was at that moment that Draco chose to walk smugly into the room flanked by his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Dream Team," Draco sneered, acting like nothing had changed between Harry and him.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, playing the part.

Draco put on an innocent face. "Why, I just wanted to see my three best friends! Is that so bad?" He sneered. "Honestly, Potter, what do you think I want?"

"You know, Malfoy," Ron piped up, "I don't see why you come in here every year! All you do is insult us and walk off! There's no point to it!"

Draco looked over at Harry, who gave him a barely visible nod, which clearly said, He's got a point. "Actually, Weasel, you're right. I don't know why I waste my precious oxygen and time talking to you Mudbloods anyway!" He looked at Harry just in time to catch an angry look, then stalked out the door.

"What is that git's problem?" Hermione asked angrily.

"I don't know," Harry said truthfully, with every intention of asking that question later on.

*~*

Sitting in a secluded spot by the lake with Draco, that very question came up.

"Oh, come on, Potter!" Draco said. "We've only been at school for three days! You don't want to get on a subject like this already, do you?"

"Yes, I do! And what happened to calling me Harry?"

"I have decided to call you Harry only when you're not doing incredibly stupid things." He pondered for a moment. "Which would mean you would be called Potter permanently, I suppose."

Harry punched him playfully on the arm. "Seriously, Draco, I'm curious. Why are you so horrible to everyone?"

Draco shrugged. "I suppose it's my nature."

"It's not your nature. You're a lot nicer than that."

"Well, then, maybe I'm like this because it's what's expected of me."

"Don't give me that, Draco! I know from personal experience that you don't always live up to what you're expected to be."

"It's what my father expects of me," Draco said softly.

"Oh...that would explain it."

"Look, Harry, I really don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Of course. We can talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"Like...How and when we're going to let our secret out, I guess."

"Exchanging one bad subject for another, eh, Harry?"

"Well, if you don't want to talk about it-"

"I don't mind. I just...I have a reputation at this school, Harry, and hating you is part of it! I would lose all my credibility in Slytherin if we let this out!"

"What's the point of being friends if no one can know about it?"

"We can still be friends without people knowing! I mean, being friends doesn't mean that everyone knows about it!"

Harry sighed. "Alright, Draco. But someday, I'd like to be able to tell my other friends about this."

"Perhaps when we get out of this school, Harry. Perhaps before! Who knows? I'm just not ready yet."

Harry mused for a few seconds, and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just that we sound like a gay couple discussing when to come out of the closet!" Harry sniggered.

"And...that's funny how?"

"Well, because I'm not gay. Why, are you?"

"No! And I don't like being referenced to as gay, either!"

"Well, jeez, Drake, sorry! I wasn't calling you gay! Don't be so touchy about it, or people will think you are gay!"

"Just as long as my father doesn't think it, I'm fine."

"Ohh...this is another one of those 'my father' things, huh?"

"I don't expect you to understand this, Harry. Just go along with it, ok?"

"Yeah, sure, fine!" He thought for a little while, and asked, "But, if your father wouldn't get mad at you, would you be gay?"

"GAH! Potter, what is it with you and all these questions? Honestly, one would think you were gay! And I really don't feel like answering your insane question at this moment!"

"Whatever you say, Draco." He checked his watch. "It's almost time for dinner. We should go back in."

"A wise decision. I don't like where that conversation was going. Shall we say, same time tomorrow?"

"Actually, I'm going down to see Hagrid tomorrow. How about the day after?"

"Works for me. Same time, same place." Draco headed off toward the castle. Harry waited a good five minutes so no one would suspect anything, and followed Draco's footsteps.

He supposed he could get used to a hidden friendship, but he would never get used to hiding secrets from Ron and Hermione. They had shared everything with him. When they had started dating at the beginning of the summer, he had been the first to know. It just felt wrong to be hiding something this big from them.

*~*

In Potions class the next day, Snape had paired Harry with Draco in yet another attempt to make Harry miserable, which seemed to be his goal in life.

They both found it extremely hard to act as miserable as they usually would be. They managed to get into a few arguments, but it still wasn't enough to keep Snape happy.

"Mr. Malfoy," he said after a period of twenty minutes without a mean comment from the both of them. "Are you feeling well today?"

"Actually, sir," he said in that suck up voice he got around Snape, "I'm not feeling very well at all."

Harry gave him a kick under the table and looked at him curiously. Draco gave him a slight nod, which Harry took to mean that he was telling the truth.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape asked, making sure that everyone else in the class knew that he wouldn't be making the same offer for them.

"Oh, no, sir, I don't feel that sick. I just have a bit of a headache."

Snape looked at him suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

Finally, the bell rang, and Ron and Hermione caught up with him outside the classroom.

"What's up with you and Malfoy?" Hermione asked. "I wonder if you're feeling well today!"

"I'm feeling fine, Hermione, really. I guess Malfoy was just feeling bad, so he didn't have the energy to fight. To tell you the truth, it was a welcome change."

They looked at him suspiciously, but seemed to think that his explanation was acceptable. Ron hooked his arm around Hermione's waist, and they followed Harry to the Great Hall for lunch.

"I wonder what's for lunch today," Hermione mused.

"Hopefully something good," Harry said absently.

As they were eating, Harry tried his hardest to concentrate on eating, but his mind and his eyes kept wandering over to Draco. He didn't realize that he was staring at him until Neville waved his hand in front of Harry's face.

"Harry! You're spacing out again! You've been doing that a lot, lately!"

Harry jumped. "Yeah, sorry. I've just been thinking about...things." He took a bite of his chicken.

"Things?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, just things." He stood up. "I have some studying to do. I'll be in the library." With that, he walked out.

Ron looked at Hermione. "You're rubbing off on him!"

Hermione sighed and addressed the rest of the Gryffindor table. "You've all noticed it too, haven't you? Ron and I aren't going crazy, are we? Something's up with Harry!"

"I've noticed it!" Ginny piped up. "He was acting like this at our house, too, but he's gotten worse now."

Neville shrugged. "Maybe he's got a secret girlfriend or something."

Ron looked at him. "No way! Harry would have told us about something like that!"

"Well, maybe it's someone he doesn't think you'll approve of! Or maybe it's a crush and he doesn't think it'll go anywhere."

"You seem to know a lot about that subject, Longbottom!"

They turned to see Draco standing behind them. "What do you want, Malfoy? Ron asked maliciously.

"I just wanted to hear what kind of secrets the brave, courageous Gryffindors keep, but obviously, they're nothing important, so I'll go on my way, now." He walked off gracefully.

"Twit," Hermione commented.

*~*

The next day, Harry waited for Draco to show up at the lake. Draco was fifteen minutes late, and Harry was just about to leave, when he heard a rustling behind him.

"Sorry I'm so late," Draco said, emerging from the bushes. "I got caught up in my potions homework."

Harry sighed. "Only you, Draco."

Draco smiled at him. "Yes, only me. That's why I'm so great!" He smirked for a second. "So, Harry, I couldn't help overhearing a conversation the Gryffindors were having yesterday, and I wanted to ask you about it."

"Ask away!"

"Well, they were saying that you have been acting weird lately. They think you have a crush on some girl!" He paused. When Harry didn't answer, he said, "Well? Is it true?"

"No! Of course not! Who would I have a crush on?"

"Oh, I don't know...Cho Chang?"

"No way!"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I thought you had a thing for her. I heard you even kissed her last year!"

"Yeah, well, that was then. I'm not really all that fond of her anymore."

"Aww," Draco said mockingly. "And why's that? Did she break your heart?"

"That's none of your business, Malfoy."

The usage of his last name told Draco that he'd gone too far. "Sorry, mate. I was just kidding."

Harry sighed. "I don't have a crush on anyone, Draco."

"Of course not."

*~*

Harry woke up that night, hot and sweaty from a dream. He couldn't remember ever having a dream like that, not when it included that person. He had dreamed of Draco; of holding him, kissing him... He shook the dream from his mind. He, Harry James Potter, could not be gay. There was just no possible way! He turned over in bed and went back to sleep.

He didn't remember the dream the next morning, until he saw Draco glide gracefully into the Great Hall for breakfast.

He is very good-looking, Harry thought. Suddenly, he realized what he was thinking, and quickly pushed the thought out of his mind. He was NOT gay!

"Something wrong, Harry?" Ron asked worriedly. "You were staring at Malfoy!"

Harry quickly averted his gaze. "I was just thinking about how much I hate him," Harry said. How many lies could one person stand to tell their best friends?

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked. "That was a pretty interesting look you had."

"Yes, Hermione, I'm sure. It's nothing for you to be worried about."

Hermione looked at him suspiciously. He grew worried. She was the smartest witch of her age! She was sure to notice that Harry had a crush on Draco...

But that was nonsense. He didn't have a crush on Draco, so there was nothing for her to notice! But then, why did he feel so guilty...

*~*

Harry almost dreaded going out to see Draco by the lake that afternoon. He didn't want to see him again, for fear that he would think those kind of thoughts again. Every time he had seen Draco that day, he would remember the dream...How right it had felt, and how wonderful it would be if he could just try it in real life. Harry was becoming more and more confused by the minute.

Finally, Draco emerged from the trees. Harry pushed back his sudden feeling of longing.

"Something wrong, Harry?" Draco asked. "You have an odd look."

"Oh, nothing's wrong." More lies. How many lies could one person tell in a lifetime before they finally exploded from the guilt?

Draco ran a hand gracefully through his shockingly silver-blonde hair, and Harry's senses went wild. Oh, great, he thought. Maybe I really am gay! Resigning himself to this unnerving thought, he decided to ask Draco his thoughts on the subject once more, so he could be sure that he'd never have a chance with him. Then he could get over this stupid idea of being gay.

He leaned back on a tree and said, casually, "Hey, Drake, if a guy asked you out, what would you say?"

"Honestly, Harry, more of this gay talk?" He saw that Harry was being serious and answered the question. "I guess it would depend on who the guy was."

Harry sat up. "You mean, you might go out with them?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, I wouldn't go out with them in public, no. I mean, think of what my father would say if he found out! But I suppose I would carry on a relationship behind everyone's backs. If I liked him enough, that is."

Harry sat back, taking in this new information. "So, like...who do you like enough at this school to go out with them?"

"Oh, I don't know...I don't like all that many people, period. I guess I like Blaise enough, maybe."

"Blaise?" Harry asked incredulously. "Blaise Zabini?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with him?" Draco asked defensively.

"I don't know...I just can't see anyone going out with him!"

"What about you, Harry?"

"What?"

"Well, what if a guy asked you out? What would you say?"

Harry shrugged. "Depends on who the guy was, I suppose."

It was Draco's turn to look shocked. "You mean...you're gay?! The Boy Who Lived is GAY?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm really not quite sure at the moment. I think I'm more like...bisexual."

"You're not sure. You mean, like, you're having a crisis?"

"I wouldn't call it a crisis. I mean, I'm not completely panicked or anything. Just kind of...confused."

"Which is what we call a crisis, Harry. Honestly." He smirked. "Really, now, what are your friends going to think?"

Harry sighed. "They're going to think I've lost my mind."

"They'd be right too, but you lost that a LONG tie ago." Catching the upset look on Harry's face, he changed the subject. "So, who's the lucky (or unlucky) bloke who made you question your sexuality?"

Harry laughed nervously. "Oh, right, like I'd tell you that!"

"Seriously, Harry, I'd like to know!"

"Draco, really, I can't tell you that. You're just better off not knowing."

A knowing came over his face. "Ohh...why didn't I see this before?"

"What?" Harry asked. "What did you not see before?"

"It's me, isn't it? I made you question it!"

Harry sighed. He was caught. "Yeah, it was."

Draco laughed deliciously. "Ooh, I'm FLATTERED, Harry, I really am! But honestly, if you want to go out with me that bad, you'd have to do something with your hair. And get an entirely new wardrobe."

Harry stared at him. "So, you're saying you would go out with me?"

"Well, I told you I would go out with the guy if I liked him enough." He leaned close into Harry. "I'd say I like you enough." He leaned even closer and his lips touched Harry's. It was the most spectacular kiss Harry had ever received. Then again, he'd really ever only gotten kissed once.

"Yet another thing for your father to get mad at you about," Harry said, panting, after they had ended the kiss.

"Yeah, but this one I don't mind keeping from him," Draco said, before kissing him again.

Harry broke the kiss. "You know, maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean, I'm keeping enough secrets from my friends as it is!" Draco gave him a look as if to say, 'yeah, right, do you really want that?' "Then again, I don't have to tell them everything." He pulled Draco into a deep kiss.

"You know," Draco said, "this won't be too good for Cho Chang's self-esteem!"

"What?" Harry asked. "Why?"

"Well, think about it! She went out with you, and after she broke your heart, you turned gay!"

"She did not break my heart, Draco, honestly!" he laughed, and kissed him again. "Now, there's only one thing we have to worry about."

"What's that?"

"Figuring out how and when we're going to let people know about us!"