Scared of the Dark

He hated the night time. The darkness closed in around him, cutting off his air, making his pulse race. It frustrated him that he was able to overcome so many other obstacles, yet a starless night was what frightened him the most. It was during the night that he remembered the shadowy days of the not so long ago past. The screams echoed painfully in his mind, the faces of the dead around him, the pain of the wounds that he never thought would heal; they all haunted those hours of darkness. But what scared him the most was that the thick gloom reminded him so much of the forest. The forest he had spent so many hours in, battling the one being in the world that had the power to destroy everything he had worked so hard to protect. It made Harry's heart ache to remember the losses those 2 terrible years. They had all been young, 18 years old and killing anyone who opposed them. It didn't make sense anymore, but then, it never really had.

He knew he terrified her. On those nights when he woke up screaming, he could hear the panic in her voice as she comforted him. He would pull her close to his body, holding on to make sure she was still there, but he could feel her shaking, refusing to look into his eyes. He reminded her of an animal, unpredictable, prone to lash out, but in desperate need of someone's love. That's what he wanted from her when his soul turned to ice. He wanted her love to warm him again. He wanted her to not be so afraid. He just wanted to her know that he would never hurt her.

"Hermione, are you awake?" he whispered in a rasping voice that sounded so unlike himself. He watched her turn over so she could see him.

"I'm awake." She wouldn't scoot any closer to him. He wondered what she thought he was going to do to her. Who did she think he was?

"Are you cold? I can get some more blankets from the closet." She had shivered, but really he knew it wasn't from cold. She had shivered because she was nervous. He didn't want to admit it, but it didn't seem right anymore. Sleeping in the same bed with someone and not being able to get close to them, being afraid of them, wasn't right.

"No," she replied shortly. Harry sighed as she rolled back over so her back was to him. He placed a hand on his forehead. His hands were freezing. Silence ensued. Harry had always hated tense silences.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" She huffed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"Nothing you would understand." That hurt. Harry wasn't saying he always understood her, it was impossible, but he knew he had made a conscious effort to always understand what she was talking about.

"Try me."

"I don't love you." It was final, complete, and expected. Harry let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

"Why wouldn't I understand that?" he asked bitterly. She threw the covers off her pale body and got out of bed. Hurrying to the closet she pulled out a suitcase and flipped on the light.

"I don't know Harry. Maybe because you've been so wrapped up in your own fucking memories to even give me a second thought!" she exclaimed suddenly. Harry sat up, the anger rising in his stomach.

"That's not true and you know it. I'm trying here Hermione! It's you who pulls away everytime I try to touch you. You're afraid of me." He added the last part quietly. She spun around, a black t-shirt in her hand.

"Can you blame me? You just go crazy sometimes. I can't live like that, wondering when you're going to break down. I want to be with someone...normal." Harry winced at the word. It had come up a lot lately with the two of them. Normal. That's all she seemed to want. She wanted a normal life, no lingering bad memories, and no articles in the Daily Prophet, nothing that hinted at anything abnormal. Being different just wasn't what she wanted.

"We will never be normal! I have never been normal. You knew that when you got into this. It didn't bother you at the beginning." She laughed emptily and snapped the suitcase closed.

"That was then. I was young. My priorities have changed. How could we ever raise children Harry? They would be whispered about their whole lives. They would never have a chance to be the same. They could never blend in!" She shook her head and stalked out of the bedroom, Harry following close behind.

"Why do you so desperately want to blend in? I can't help that people know every god damn detail about my life! What do you want me to do? Just tell me what to do to make you stay." His dark hair had fallen into his eyes, and Hermione's expression softened only momentarily when she looked at this man she had loved for so long. But she knew she couldn't deal with it anymore. She was leaving.

"There is nothing you can do. This is my decision and I've made up my mind, completely. Good-bye Harry Potter. It was nice while it lasted." She patted his arm with a free hand, and exited their flat, breezing out the door in her white nightgown and suitcase. Harry rushed out into the hallway and called,

"Where will you stay?" She didn't turn back as she shouted over her shoulder,

"I'm going to Ron's! Don't call; I won't be able to come to the phone."

And then she was gone around the corner. In one heartbreaking night Harry Potter had lost the last person he had thought truly still loved him.