"La La Means I Love You"

"La La Means I Love You"

"With everyone around us singing la la we slid out of their view

Then you thought you heard me singing la la but I don't have the strength to"

He looked down at her. Her beautiful brown eyes and firey red hair filling his sight. Her arms were wrapped around his waist. She loved being held. And loved holding him even more. It was his last year at Hogwarts. He needed a little romance. Even if it was with a Gryffindor, a Slytherin's enemy. Even if if was a Weasley, a Malfoy's enemy. But it didn't matter, for he, Draco, always got what he wanted. He had wanted Ginny...or did he?

Most people would call her love for him wrong. She should never feel that way about him. They all had a reason; he was too old, too slimy, too mean, too cynical, too sadistic, a Slytherin, his nose was too big (the worst she'd heard). But none of it mattered. Soon, she'd be leaving Hogwarts and it wouldn't be 'wrong' for her to love the Potions Master everyone hated. Harry and Ron both had told her it was wrong. She did't care.

"From the moment that I give out we begin to live out

Scence from all romantic prose while tethered to the roles

Or what was meant disguised as sentiment could hang

Misunderstood and left unanswered"

She loved spending time with him. If he returned the feeling, she didn't know. She thought he loved her. "Draco, do you love me?". No answer. A smirk. A kiss. Yes or no? They always found time to be together. Even after hours. Empty rooms where Draco's favorite. She remembered the first time. A Transfiguration room. He'd taken here there, kissed her, layed her on one of the tables, removed certain articles of clothing from her lower half and his, then he himself joined her on the table. She remembered every sigh, every moan, every cry, every kiss, how she told him to stop, how he smirked, how he instead thrusted harder. Everytime she passed that room, she remember. And it hurt...why?

It was tough. Having her as a student but thinking more of her. Wanting to take her into his arms but the presence of others holding him back. He tried his best to treat her as just another student, but she was more. So much more. Nothing they had was physical. She was just 17. Just 17 and a student. Nothing could be physical. She'd spend her evenings with him. Everyone thought it was extra classes. (She was the brightest witch of her time after all.) No one would question them. He remembered the day she'd said that Potter and his red-haired friend, Weasley, had asked. She told. They promised to keep it secret...for now. He didn't know how long that would last. For now, he'd keep things together. He loved her. Loved everything about her. There was nothing more he could want.

"Your eyes tell me I have what I wanted haunted as I hold you

Nevous slacking with the lacking heartache no heartbreak when I told you"

Something in her eyes told him that he had what he wanted. But there was something in those brown dephs that he couldn't reach. They were trying to tell him something that he didn't understand. Was that the reason he would thrust harder into her when they made love? To see what was in those dephs, only to hear her cry out? Was that why he left marks on her? To get her to confess what her eyes held, only to leave her scarred? It wasn't his fault. It was her's. She was the one who was hiding something in her brown eyes. All her fault. Her fault.

His eyes were always dark. Pained. Cold. It seemed they had never seen one happy moment. Not even when she was with him. He almost never smiled. Every now and then he would. Only in class. Usually while harassing a student. Usually Neville. When they spent time together, they were silent. No shared memories. No spoken feelings. No words. Just silence. Her laying in his arms as he lay on the couch. She'd smile. The corner of his mouth would twitch. Try to smile. Kiss he instead. She'd lay her head back on his chest. Disappointed. Was this what love is suppose to be like?

"And though I never did surrender could you please remember

If and when we meet again we once were more than friends

Emabarrassed me but would you share a scene and kiss me

One last time before I leave you"

She went with him. One last time. She had told someone. Hermione. It all made sense now. The hurt could end. He moved in to kiss her. She stepped away. Confusion and anger. She told him they were done. He didn't believe her. Told him she wouldn't joke about this. She'd never go with him again. He'd never touch her again. "We're done... I'm done" she whispered. This time he believed her. He asked for one last kiss. She agreed.

"And thought I never did surrender I want you to rememeber

If and when we meet again we'll still be more than friends

Grant me this it could seem frivolous, but kiss me

One last time before I leave you"

He thought about what he was going to tell her. Picked his words carefully. But when she got there, they disapated. She noticed he was upset. It had to end. He didn't want her in danger because of him. It was better for both of them. He waited for her reply. None. Could he ask for one last favor? "Can I kiss you, one last time?" She didn't object. A kiss filled of tears.

"You've got all my loving in a tangle that I could never undo"

He'd been dumped. It was his fault all along. That's what her eyes were trying to tell him. His fault.

Did he really love her? She'd never know. But one thing she did know was the pain would end. It would stop.

She thought she loved him. She'd told herself she did. An infatuation. That's what it really was. A few tears. Nothing more.

He'd never wanted to hurt her. But it was something he had to do. Even if it did hurt to do it. He regretted only one thing. He'd never told her that he loved her. Never.

"You will never hear me singing la la..."

Back to the Common Room. Only to be smug. Cover up the pain. "Draco...?"

Back to the girl's dorm. To dream peaceful dreams. To put away the hurt. "Ginny...?"

Back to Gryffindor Tower. To meet Harry and Ron and tell them what has happened. To have Ron, who likes her, take her in his arms. To cry over an infatuation that was really love. "Hermione...?"

Back to work. To keep going, day after day, alone. Know all to well that, tomorrow, he will see her. That Weasley will have taken his chance. That she is gone. "Severus...?"

"I guess 'la la' means 'I love you'...."

"I loved you...."

" 'La la' means 'I love you'... love you...."