I Love You

The ticking of the clock sounded like a thunderous heartbeat in the depths of silence. She waited in anticipation, hoping his answer coincided with hers, that the feelings she projected to him were mirrored back. The silence penetrating her mind, the ticking driving her mad, she shifted from one leg to the other, wishing she could see inside his head. She knew it wasn't allowed for another few months and that even if he shared the same sentiments, they couldn't be together yet.

His thoughts raced at the professed love before him in the shape of a young girl. The shape of some one he could never and should never have. He stood before her on her little island of hope that seemed to be crumbling fast in the wake of his calm. He knew he shouldn't do anything rash, and deciding to think it over as the best option, he walked away from her, not in his normal sweeping manner, but gently as though lost in thought.

Hermione felt her island of hope sink beneath her as he turned and walked away from her, the answer to her question lying at the bottom of the sea, squashed by her island. Not noticing the tears that had begun streaking down her face, she walked sullenly back towards her private rooms, feeling as though her heart had been attached to his feet as he walked away from her, denting with every step he took. Locking the door to her rooms, not remember saying the password to enter, she laid across her bed and sobbed silently. She remembered back to when it had first started. Taking an extra credit project in Potions was one of the many things this year that Harry and Ron had protested. But they didn't understand her passion for the subtle art. Or her thoughts toward the Potions Master.

Knowing what she did, how could anyone resist the alluring man whose dark past made him seem so dangerous and yet so noble for wanting to put it right. Her inward smile would stretch to both ears whenever he would stalk by, taking points from every house but his own. When she worked in the dungeons, during free periods and after classes, the world seemed to disappear around the two, as though no one else mattered. And no one did matter more to Hermione.

To quell her thoughts took so much energy out of her that she would come back to the common room exhausted and her friends would complain that he worked her too hard. Pity they didn't know how hard she actually worked during those times, and not even on the potions. After the first few meetings, she managed to loosen him up and by Christmas, she even found out he had a sense of humor. After that fateful day, whenever she was close to him, she had too much she couldn't say. And before she could open her mouth, he always walked away from her, oblivious to her predicament. Not that she would ever have the strength to tell him how much she needed him.

Finally, after too much angst and longing, it was blurted out, as if a dam in her speech had broken and everything flooded out, since the time she had taken the project. Which brought her thoughts back to where she was today, lying in a different predicament than before, a more painful one. And now he knew everything. He knew it all. He could return the affection, he could ignore her or he could mercilessly taunt and tease her in his own subtle way. Gods, she prayed for the first option.

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Walking down to the dungeons, Hermione pondered whether it would be better to take a few days off from her project. Her reasoning rejected the idea when she thought of the work lost in those few days. Also, how would Severus react? Would he think she was scared of him denying her? She couldn't let him think of her as weak. Pushing her way through the doorway, she immediately went to her desk set aside for the project and began working.

The doorway to his private chambers opened and she glanced out of the corner of her eye as he walked in with a surprised look on his usually grim face. Apparently he had expected her to be weak. Quickly loosing the expression and putting on a blank one, he swept to his desk and began to grade the stack of papers, most likely from the poor first years, which had no idea how brutal the grading would be.

This is how the meetings now went, and every time they ended, Hermione's heart had sunk farther into her stomach. Finally, end of the year exams came and went. Graduation went off without a hitch, considering the defeat of Voldemort last year. She made her way back towards the Gryffindor Tower to begin packing when she remembered she had left a notebook in the dungeons last time she had frequented them. Rushing towards the foreboding door, she stood outside and caught her breath. *This will be the last time I see him* she thought sadly and pushed her way through the door for what she thought to be the last time.

When she entered, a new site greeted her. There stood Severus, no longer in his loose black robes, perfect for billowing, but dressed in muggle clothing. Even more surprising, the door closed behind her and he had started moving forward, towards her with purpose. As soon as he got close enough, a hand slipped around her waist and a mouth was on hers and she could only think that she was dreaming before all other thoughts flew from her head, pushed out by his tongue gently probing and exploring her mouth as if he wanted to memorize every curve. Finally breaking away, he rested his forehead against hers and sighed softly.

"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he whispered softly into her ear, his soft breath tickling her earlobe, causing her to shiver with excitement and contentment.

"And you've no idea how long I've wanted you to do that," she answered, grinning slightly as she relished the feel of his arms around her. "So what now?"

He was silent a few moments, contemplating what to do now that he had what he wanted.

"Whatever you want."