Giving Up Little Girl Dreams: An Epilogue

Giving Up Little Girl Dreams

Epilogue

Ginny was miserable for several days. Hermione, Ron, and even Harry noticed her moodiness, and tried to find out what was wrong, but she had nothing to say to any of them. What was she supposed to say?

"Pardon me, Hermione, but my brother compared you to both a water pump, and a study guide, and I don't know which is worse."

"Forget it, Ron! You obviously know nothing about women!"

"What do you care about how I feel, Harry Potter? You're not ready to take anyone seriously, even Luna Lovegood, whom I happen to know for a fact has been shagging you senseless!"

That would have been exceptionally cruel, for Harry was actually being quite a bit nicer to Luna since he had stood up to Ron and Neville about her. They were appearing together in public now, and could be seen regularly walking hand in hand through the halls of Hogwarts. That made Ginny even more irritated, since it meant Harry WAS taking Luna more seriously. Luna had obviously found a place in Harry's heart that Ginny had never been able to reach.

To make it worse, Draco Malfoy had been watching her at every possible moment. Draco had always watched her, to a certain extent. She had always believed it was due to the animosity between her family and his, but what if there were more to it? Did he really know more about her than she had ever considered? Could those gray eyes be seeing something that she had never expected him to be able to see? He'd certainly been right about Harry.

A week passed. Ginny knew the Slytherin team would be practicing that night, and she knew that Draco Malfoy was always the last one back from the pitch. Ginny has once looked at a book that had been written by a Muggle named Oscar Wilde. He had written, "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." Ginny was ready to find out if that was true. She would talk to Draco Malfoy, and find out if he really knew her or not.

She watched the Slytherins leave the pitch. She watched them go to the broomshed. Draco was the last one in, as usual, and he was still at the broomshed when Crabbe and Goyle and the others headed off to the showers. She stepped into the doorway as soon as they were out of sight.

Draco looked up, his pale face even paler in the dim light.

"Back again, Weasley? Need another lesson on the facts of life?"

"Maybe." She straightened her spine, and stared him down. "I want to talk to you."

He laughed. "What did Potter do to hack you off tonight? It must have been something big, if you want to use me to get back at him."

"Nothing. I haven't seen him," Ginny said, stammering, "but you were right about last time. I WAS angry at Harry that night! I caught him...I caught him with Luna Lovegood. They were, oh, damn! They were having sex out by the lake!"

"Loony Lovegood?" Draco whistled, impressed. "Way to go, Potter! I heard she had a thing for him, and if the gossip is to believed he can really get that girl to..."

"Draco, I'm not hear to listen to you comment on how well Luna does Harry. I saw that for myself. And I don't want to use you to get back at him. I want to know if you meant it...what you said. You said you knew more about me than I thought you did. What did you mean?"

"Weasley, I know you followed Potter around for years like he was some kind of god. I know he never paid attention to you. He was stupid. It wasn't all Potter's fault, though. You wanted something he's not ready to give, to anyone, but at the same time he's just not in your league. You have pureblood spirit, and you're not unintelligent, at least compared to your brothers.'

"You like me!" She stared at him, her brown eyes blazing.

"I don't have to like you to want you," he said defensively. "I do want you. Maybe I do like you, but I don't know that for sure. I don't know how I feel right now, all right? I just know there's something different about you."

Ginny laughed, almost hysterically. "I'll bet that's not what your father tells you."

"Yes, well, in case you haven't heard my father's not around any more." Something came into Draco's eyes. It almost looked like pain.

"Maybe I know more about you than you realize," Ginny challenged him. "Maybe you want me to hack off your father."

"Maybe we're just two people who don't know what we want, or what we believe anymore. Maybe things just didn't turn out the way we expected them to. Maybe I'm just someone looking for something to hang onto, just like you." His voice was mild now. He reached out suddenly, and caught hold of her. She came up against him, inches away from those glittering, gray eyes.

Unable to help herself, Ginny gave a small moan. Draco lowered his head to hers, and gave her a kiss, a warm and wet kiss, and she found herself kissing him back, deeply, and desperately. She had opened for him almost instinctively, letting his tongue thrust into her mouth. She sucked it in, and slid her hands into his blonde hair, as his hands moved over her back and backside.

"Did you like what you saw at the lake?" Draco asked, finally, sliding his lips away from hers, causing her to shiver. " Did you lie in bed that night, little Ginny Weasley, wondering what it would be like?"

"I'm not a little girl any more!"

He stepped back slightly, and let his eyes roam over the length of her body. "No, you're not. Did you think about my offer? Do you want me to show you how it feels? I could satisfy your curiosity."

"You said you never make promises, but you did make one to me. You said I'd like it." She said this firmly, and he laughed.

"So I did. I'm such a bad boy. Isn't that what you've always heard? Is that what you want? Are you flirting with evil?"

"I don't think you're really that evil, Malfoy. I think you just like to put on a big show. When someone confronts you, you always back down."

"I want you to back down," he said, and pressed his mouth to hers once more, hard this time, and bruising. His mouth was hot on hers, and it was like putting a match to gunpowder. His mouth slid from her lips to her throat, and Ginny thought of the Muggle writer's book again.

"When the gods want to punish us, they answer our prayers."

"What?" He looked up, puzzled.

"Nothing. It's something I read once."

She stood passively as he spread a cloak on the floor. When he began to strip her, she helped him. She helped him pull off his clothes as well, and then she was lying on the cloak, looking out through the half-opened door, at the stars in the sky, as he touched her, and kissed her, and finally, when she was moaning madly from his caresses, took her.

When it was over, she lay still. She could feel Draco's heart beating against her breast. He buried his face in her hair. She patted his back gently.

"I had everything," he murmured. "Then I had nothing. Now what do I have?"

"You have me," Ginny said softly. "You have something to hang onto, until we find out what we're really supposed to believe."

"I think," he said with wonder, "that I can live with that."

The end.