Ohne Dich (Without You)

So here I am. I had to come. I hope you're satisfied.

I sit as far as possible from everyone else. I don't want them to recognize me. I don't want anyone asking me, why I'm here. That's my business. Business between you and me and that's all it should be. No one needs to know about that month when we belonged to each other. You didn't want anyone to know back then and I'm sure you don't want it now either. I want to respect your memory although I'm still mad at you for leaving so quickly. Everything was just in beginning. The best years of your life could still have been ahead. At least mine would have been, but without you I don't see that coming. I've never been as happy as with you.

It is silent in the church. I cover my hooded head better. A couple of people are buzzing in the front around you. Your coffin is so unbelievably white, so white I can't look at it for long. I blink my eyes. I've already decided I won't cry anymore. Draco Malfoy can hold himself together.

The sound of the organs comes so suddenly and loudly that I get a little frightened. All people in the front of the church have settled themselves down. They sit and wait. I recognize some of them. Old school friends, couple of teachers too... The whole Weasley family is of course there. They fill one bench alone. Ron is closest to the edge and next to him there's a dark haired boy. Harry. He seems to be crying.

I'm looking out of the window. The words of the priest are distant. I've closed my ears from them. I don't want to know what he says. I know he's telling so beautiful things about you that the words would raise tears to my eyes again. And I don't want them anymore. I've cried enough for you.

The priest stops talking. I look at the altar and see an elder couple setting flowers on your coffin. They must be your parents. Then the Weasleys go to leave their goodbyes. After them Harry gets up. He walks to you wiping his eyes. He sets quietly the flowers and whispers:"Goodbye."

After all rituals Harry, Ron, Mr Weasley and your father lift your coffin to their shoulders and start walking along the aisle. They walk out of the door while everyone else follows. I wait for a moment and go out as well.

Now they've gathered around your grave. I watch them from the church stairs. After a while they all leave and I can see that the road is clear for me. I walk to you, hooded. I just stand there and look at your coffin. I miss you so much. Tears start falling down my face, I can't stop them anymore. I cry silently and press my face on my hands.

I have no clue for how long I stood there. Maybe ten minutes, maybe an hour. I pull myself back together and look down for the very last time.

"I loved you, Hermione."