Hope

Part Seven: Fire

Harry's POV

The next morning when Professor Dumbledore wakes you and you find Draco gone, it saddens you slightly. There is something you wanted to say to him before you left. You might never have another chance to say it, and you thought that he should know after all. You need to thank him for helping you sleep. You want to tell him that he has given you hope and a determination to return, and you want to tell him that you are not afraid any more. You have someone to come back to, you have a reason to survive. You tell yourself that even if he doesn't feel as strongly as you do, you don't care because there is something there, and that's better than the nothing you had before.

Swallowing your disappointment you head off with the team of Aurors to an old mansion that supposedly harbours the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Some, like Ron's dad who are attached to the Order accompany you, which is a comfort. As soon as you arrive, you know that Voldemort is not there, you can feel through your scar that he is elsewhere, and there is almost relief now in your demeanor. Now, you know you shall return to Draco - this time anyway - because no stupid Death Eater is ever going to get the better of you.

Still, you cannot sit by and watch as the Aurors rout the Death Eaters that are there, and so you join in, using every defense spell you managed to learn or teach yourself through the DA club you are still running. Whilst protecting yourself with shielding spells, you also let loose a few damaging spells of your own. The aim of course is to capture these followers of Voldemort, but in the heat of battle the lines that divide what is acceptable to use for capture, become blurred and things escalate, and turn dark and life threatening.

The spells that begin as either stunning spells or binding spells quickly change to spells like 'Crucio', as the Death Eaters fight back attempting to maim and destroy their attackers. You see Arthur Weasley go down in a scream of agony and your own vision becomes tinged with the red heat of anger. Throwing yourself into the action, things begin to get a bit hazy and the very walls of the mansion begin to shake. Windows explode and light globes flicker. From somewhere off in the distance you can hear Dumbledore entreating you to calm down, but it falls on deaf ears. Your magic is too strong and too angry to back down now and the pathetic Death Eater spells just bounce off you. One by one, and without the aid of your wand, you do no more than look at each Death Eater and he becomes a writhing pile of robes on the ground, his wand disintegrating in his hands.

By the time the last Death Eater has been disarmed and bound by the rest of the team, you are shaking uncontrollably and the tension is beginning to subside, leaving you to face the destruction you wreaked. You hadn't killed any of the Death Eaters, but you were so close to lowering yourself to their level, that you wonder if there's a dark side to you after all. You had wanted to kill them for what they did to Mr. Weasley. He is alive, you discover to your relief, but he is weak and seriously injured and he is helped to apparate back to St. Mungo's for treatment.

There is a comforting hand on your shoulder and you look up to see Dumbledore reassuring you with a look that only those experienced in war can give. The tremors of shock set in and you fall to your knees, hang your head and let the tears fall. They fall for your loss of innocence, your terror at your own loss of control and the sense of failure that you feel because you know that you will have to lose control like that at least one more time.

Underneath it all, you feel an intense need for Draco's arms around you again. Somehow he took away your fear last night and you need that once more. A part of you wonders if he will still have any time for you, after he finds out the way that you so nonchalantly seemed to hurt people. You think he might become afraid that you will hurt him if one day you lose control, and to be honest with yourself, you don't know that you won't. A sudden thought pierces your heart. What if one of the Death Eaters you hurt today was Draco's father?

The day has become so confusing, so draining and so horror laden that you are not really sure of anything any more, other than the need to see Draco. You need to know if he will still trust you, you need to show him he can trust you not to hurt him. And you need him to take away the pain of discovering that you can be as ruthless and cruel as those you fight.

It takes another hour to clean up and remove all the Death Eaters from the scene, and you make sure to remove every mask and you note with a mixture of relief and disappointment that Malfoy Senior is not amongst the prisoners. That is one thing that you will not have to explain to Draco. Totally exhausted, you finally follow Dumbledore back to school and make your way to your dorm, so tired that you can barely put one foot in front of the other. Your need to see Draco is burning still, but you know that unless you rest first, you will do something silly like fall asleep mid-sentence or something equally mortifying. It's still a short while before lunch and yet you feel like you have been awake forever. As you throw yourself down on your bed, only one thought makes its way through the lethargy; Draco.

Sometime later you are awakened by a voice saying, "Thank God you're alright Harry," and in your befuddled half awake state you smile, because it is Draco. His arms hug you so tightly you think you might stop breathing, but you don't care, because it is Draco. When he lets you go and searches your face, you can see how worried he's been because he looks like shit. So you smile and tell him that, earning yourself a cursed growl and his lips covering yours, and you surrender to the sweetness of his demands.

He asks you what happened and so, slowly, you tell him everything that you can remember and you look for the doubt and the worry and the fear that you are sure you will see there on his face. All you see is disappointment that Voldemort wasn't there so that you could have finished him off as well. When you ask him if he's not worried that you can become so ruthless and cruel, he looks at you in surprise. He tells you that of course he's not worried, you did what you had to do. You are still not convinced, and you push him down onto the bed proper and pin him to the mattress.

He looks up at you, a combination of expectation and the sexiest fucking smile you have ever seen, on his face. And there is no fear there as you search his eyes and tell him that you need him to take away the horror and the pain. You want to feel safe and secure and trusted and loved all at once and he is the only one who can do that for you. He nods, swallowing, and you almost whimper as your lips meet once more, needy and passionate. He gasps as your mouths join and your hands rip open his shirt so you can feel and touch his skin.

You're already hard and burning for him, but you take your time kissing every inch of his chest, mouthing and biting at his nipples, making him groan and run his hands through your hair. When his chest is slick with your ministrations you work your way lower to delve into his navel and that earns you a squeak that you know you will always remember. You've never done this before, but instinct and a desire just to love him takes over and reverently you undo his trousers and push them down along with his underwear, to free his erection.

You look up at him, the fire of your need burning bright in your eyes and you see an answering need in his. There are pulses spreading through your body that you have never felt before and your blood is thumping in your head and your lungs are working so hard just to keep you breathing. In that moment, you know that what you feel for Draco is as intense a feeling as anything you are ever likely to feel, and that you want to spend the rest of your days making him look just like he does right now.

He cries and arches into you as you take him into your mouth and begin to suck gently. This is all the confirmation you need that he feels something for you in return and as you lovingly touch him and lick him and trace your tongue along the width and breadth of his straining, weeping erection, you hold his eyes prisoner to your own.

You widen your mouth and let him fill you until you have to take time to ensure that you don't gag. When you have adjusted, you groan loudly, because nothing has ever felt this right, nothing has ever made you feel as wanted as this. The tremors spread through his body from your groan and you know by the look on his face that he is about to come. So you move back a little and suck harder, reaching down with your eyes and your mouth into his soul and rip his orgasm from him, leaving him shaken and trembling. The intimacy of the situation and the sight of Draco as he comes shatter any last doubts and you fall shuddering, untouched, into your own completion

When you have sucked him dry and his body has ceased trembling, you gently kiss his inner thighs and hips, chest and throat before claiming his lips once more. You tell him that you love him and hold him close to you, not expecting any response, just satisfied that he at least knows how you feel, because love is not a fire to be shut up in a soul. It needs the telling to breathe and live and flourish.

He has taken away your pain and he has given you something to live for. He has given you hope.

Part Eight: Admission

Draco's POV

It's not until Zabini stamps into the room, muttering about how lucky the fucking Boy Who Lived is, that your stomach unclenches and you realise just how worried you had been. When you ask how he knows, he says that Dumbledore made an announcement at lunch that Harry had made it back to school unharmed, and it was a wonder that you hadn't heard the cheering of the mindless twerps from here. Telling Zabini that it was time to press the advantage while Harry is vulnerable, you head for the showers to try to make yourself presentable.

The voice of your subconscious tells you that you're lying to yourself if you think that this is still all part of a plan to get Harry to save you. But you push that aside and tell yourself that you're just taking advantage of the Gryffindor and if it is pleasurable in the doing then all the better. Once you are free of your mapped-out future, you will still get rid of him without a second thought. For now though, the relief that he is alive buoys you with a smug satisfaction that all is still going according to plan.

You are less objective when you see him, when real flesh and blood is in your arms and those eyes of his are smiling at you and telling you that you look like shit. You kiss him thoroughly and enjoy it. His lips and arms have become a familiar place to be. Then you settle beside him and make him tell you what happened.

As you listen to the horror of his experience, you find yourself disappointed that Voldemort wasn't there for him to finish off because you are suddenly afraid that if he has to face that again, he might not come out of it. Your respect for him grows, not the least from his guilt at the way he lost control. If it had been you fighting, there would have been a number of dead wizards littering the scene, instead of prisoners. He has such a respect for life, but he will defend to the death what he thinks is right. Silently, you suffer a moment of shame that he has such strength of character while you continue to benefit from the work of others. You are very surprised that he cares what you think about him now. It's not an epiphany as such, but you accept that perhaps you do like the silly prat after all. You mean enough to him that he cares what you think. He's a hero, he's your hero and he cares what you think.

He asks for your trust, and he asks to be loved. You shock yourself by realising that you do trust him, and you have all along. When he pins you to the bed you smile at him because this is what you can give him. You can give him your trust, and you can give him the desire that you finally acknowledge has been building slowly since the first time you kissed him.

From that moment, things become blurred, lost in the new sensations flooding your body. Kissing Harry whilst lying with him on top of you is much more intimate than before. Your shirt is ripped open and you have no idea when or how it happened, but Harry's mouth is imprinting on your skin and it's like a sweet flame flickering over your chest telling you that you are being warmed by the fires of home.

The intensity and pure pleasure of his caresses, his hands, his teeth, his mouth...Oh God... sends your senses flying and you arch into his it like it's something you've done a hundred, a thousand times before. The way he touches you, loves you, needs you and trusts you, overwhelm you and you come shaking and trembling into his mouth. And the whole time he binds you with those eyes, those damned green eyes. You can't look away and you don't want to, for in them you find your answers.

In the recesses of your mind, you dimly recognise this, strange, amazing, consuming emotion and you think it might be love, because you think that at one point in your life you have felt it before. You loved your mother, until your father beat it out of you, reminding you with every cruel painful curse that love is for weaklings. This emotion that you have for Harry is similar... but not the same. This emotion also has desire laced so finely though it, as to be almost indistinguishable from love.

Facing your own desire and what you think might be love is humbling and you lie quietly in his arms afterwards, as if savouring the new fragile you. Thoughts come unbidden of the two of you standing against your father, Voldemort and anyone else that thinks you're both wrong for wanting this, of days spent holding each other, touching and learning everything there is to know about the other. It brings a smile to your face and you wonder suddenly if this were predestined after all. Maybe this was always going to happen. The best laid plans and all that...

He tells you that he loves you, and you almost answer him, but in the end you don't. You know that had it been you, you would doubt the truth of the admission of something as huge as love, had it been said as a response to a similar declaration. Instead, you begin to plan a special evening for the two of you, where you will tell Harry the truth of your plan and how everything changed and you discovered that you love him.

He loves you.

You are loved.

When you leave him sleeping soundly once more, again smiling at how you can make him feel safe, you walk to your dorm with a new outlook. Something fundamental has changed within you and you know what that is. You have a new determination, a new strength and plans for a new life. The words of your father echo in your head and you laugh at him, because you see finally that love does not make you weak. Love gives you strength, love gives a purpose and love gives you hope.

Zabini is on your bed when you reach it. He has a worried look on his face, and you know that the news of the capture of the Death Eaters has spread. He thinks that maybe his father was among those captured and he asks, "What can we do? Can we fix it?" in his whiny voice, and you know that even if you'd wanted to fix things, Zabini would be such a liability. You just wave him away, needing to plan a way to tell your father that you would not be taking the mark at the end of the year.

You also set about preparing this special evening for Harry. You make a list, flowers, soft music, scented candles and warm chocolate sauce for dipping. That makes you smile thinking of licking the sweet warm sauce from Harry's body. You'll send him an owl in the morning and tell him to meet you in the Hall and then bring him back here to your bed, which will have been suitably charmed for silence.

You lie back on your bed, happy, truly happy for the first time in your life and think about the scruffy, scarred Gryffindor that has stolen your heart. Your fascination with his eyes intrigues you and their deep green lights appear in your imagination. As you search them in your memory you see that everything he is always shows in his eyes and you fall asleep knowing that you will always be safe within the circle of his love.