Please Don't Ask Me

"Come on, they'll all be waiting," Harry smiles sadly at Draco who gathers himself marginally and nods in reply. Those eyes...

Harry sighs.

"Draco..."

"No, Harry, don't. Please? I understand, I do." A light touch on his arm and then it is gone; look, sad eyes and all. The mask is back and Draco is all smiles again, the natural flirt is back. "Now, where is my present?" His eyes flash with mischief, knowing full well that it is a standing order that no one bring gifts. Though Harry bites his lip to stop himself from telling Draco that he would gladly be his gift - he'd even wrap himself in gold paper and thrill at Draco ripping it off in a frenzy.

Instead, he cuffs him over the shoulder, grinning back, putting aside his feelings. "Git," he chides affectionately.

"That will cost you a penalty, Mr. Potter," Draco smirks, and Harry knows that he'll pay it. Anything. Draco will probably come up with something...interesting, and he is willing to play along. There is little enough he can give him as it is, in this, he will gladly give what is asked.

"And what would that be, then?"

Draco thinks for a moment, his lips pursed. Then he gives a tremulous smile. "I want a dance with you, Harry," he says. And all of a sudden the serious face is back, the longing returns and Harry cannot say no. They all know that Draco is gay, he's always been very open about it. He rarely has partners though and suffers the teasing of all their friends about some unrequited love that he is pining over, or how his heart is broken and he's vowed off men altogether.

No one will think twice about him dancing with Harry. He's danced with all of them over the years, male and female. All except Harry.

He nods, adding softly, "I'd like nothing more." He has no idea how he is going to get through a dance holding Draco in his arms and not want more, but he can at least give him this.

They both turn and walk into the restaurant proper, change the topic and Draco becomes the perfect host once more. Ginny is seated at a table with Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Blaise. They are all talking ten to the dozen and laughing when Harry and Draco approach the table. Harry finds his seat, beside Ginny, and he drops a kiss on her head as he sits down. She responds with a tight smile, but she places her hand on his leg and gives it a squeeze.

Greetings are exchanged, Draco being solicitous of Ginny, making sure that she is comfortable, and Harry is grateful that there is no trace of bitterness in Draco's voice when he speaks with her.

"How are you Ginny? You look like you are ready to give birth to another Potter babe any second," he smiles at her with genuine warmth.

Ginny rubs at her stomach, tiredly. "I'm about ready to explode, Draco," she says. "I've had enough of being so big I waddle round the house. I haven't been able to see my ankles for months..."

Harry tunes out. Not that he is heartily sick of listening to her whinge - he isn't - just that he has heard it all before. This is to be their last child; Harry thinks four children are enough for him. He leaves them talking to each other and turns to Hermione, giving her a smile.

"Hermione, you're looking positively radiant."

"So she should, Harry," Ron answers for her, earning him a look from Hermione who rolls her eyes. But she is smiling.

"Ronald and I are finally expecting, Harry," she tells him.

"Congratulations, well done!" Harry exclaims, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek, then shaking Ron's hand across the table. He is so happy for his friends; they have been trying for a family for years and had almost given up. He looks at their happy faces and knows exactly how they are feeling; he has had the same feelings when Ginny became pregnant.

The chatter goes on around him as he fills his glass with wine from the bottle on the table and takes a sip. As he is sipping, Hermione leans in close to whisper in his ear.

"What is going on with you and Draco?" she asks and Harry almost chokes on his wine.

"What do you mean?" he hisses back.

"I saw that little interlude in the foyer, Harry. You may be able to fool most people here, but not me. I know you too well. I could see how he looked at you."

Fuck. "There's nothing going on, Hermione. We're just friends, that's all."

She just looks at him. Gives him that look, the one she uses when she knows he is lying to her.

"Honest," Harry reiterates.

"I don't believe you, but alright." She whispers back. "But you should know that he is in love with you."

Harry knows this, also knows that he is in love with Draco, too. But, there is nothing he can do about it. Nothing.

Heart aching, he says what needs to be said. "There is nothing going on and there never will be. Not with him. There could never be anything with him." God...all lies. There could be everything with him.

He is saved any further interrogation by the arrival of their first course, and he gladly takes the interruption, and eats. There are numerous glances across the table to Draco, who is sitting with Ginny on one side of him and a spare seat on the other. He wonders aloud why there is a spare seat.

Blaise answers him. "That's because Draco was supposed to be bringing a date, but it seems that they inconveniently broke up just yesterday, was it Draco?"

Draco nods, sending a frown Blaise's way.

"What was it this time? Was he too clingy, did he not care enough, did he not have the right coloured eyes?" Blaise asks sarcastically and Harry shoots him a narrowed look.

Draco flicks his fork nonchalantly. "Of course, Blaise, darling. How could anyone compete with the men at this table? Would you like a mango?"

Everyone laughs at that, but Harry could swear he heard Blaise mutter something about 'something' not being green enough, underneath all the laughter.

It all leaves a bad taste in his mouth, not the least of which is jealousy that Draco does, on occasion, date other men. Unreasonable jealousy. Then the comments from Hermione and now Blaise; it makes him feel like everybody has been able to see through him all along. Frowning, he looks sideways to Ginny, but finds her deep in conversation with Draco, which is unusual since she always calls him a prat, but he relaxes and vows to be more circumspect in the future.

Once the first course is done with and cleared away, Draco excuses himself to go and mingle with the other guests. As he passes behind his chair, Harry feels the warm touch of Draco's hand on his shoulder, and whilst every atom in his body wants to lean into it, he can't.

After listening to Ron and Blaise discuss the twins' new shop in Paris - they have several shops now and the whole family were becoming very well off - Harry excuses himself to go to the men's room.

The door opens as he is washing his hands in the basin, and Blaise enters and joins Harry.

"Harry," Blaise says.

"Blaise," Harry answers. "Nice evening isn't it?"

The next thing Harry knows, Blaise is in his face, his hand fisted in Harry's shirt. The look on his face is threatening, and he sneers at Harry.

"I hope you realise that by monopolizing Draco, you are stopping him from having a normal life."

"What do you mean?" Harry snaps. "And would you mind getting your hands off me!" he adds as his own hands push Blaise away. Once he has been released, he straightens his shirt and tie and looks furiously at Blaise.

Blaise returns his look with one of dislike. "You know perfectly well, Potter. Draco hasn't had a relationship with anyone that's lasted more than a week. He always finds something wrong with them and dumps them. Then, there's the way every single one of them is a poor replica of...you. The way he looks at you... Anyone would have to be blind not to see how he feels about you."

"I don't..." Harry starts, but Blaise isn't finished, and interrupts him with a shove.

"You've always been the same, Potter. Always have to have all the attention. You're not happy unless you're in the limelight with everyone bowing and scraping to you. Why do you have to have him too? Isn't your family good enough for you?"

"Yes, of course..."

He wants to refute everything Blaise has said, wants to explain, to admit to being in love with Draco. But there is nothing going on, could never be anything between them. And then Blaise dismisses him with a wave of his hand and leaves the room, leaving Harry standing there stunned and hanging onto the sink with both hands.

He gives himself some time to settle down his thumping heart and think. All he wants to do is to go out into that restaurant, grab Draco by the hand and leave with him. Angrily, he bangs his hands down on the edge of the sink, the resulting pain little comfort. He curses everything he can think of; the world, his situation, Ginny, Draco, but most of all he curses himself. After that incredible blow job two years ago, he knows that he should have steered clear of Draco. He knew then that he was treading on dangerously thin ice, but he had ignored that little voice in his head that warned him to stay away.

And he had fallen in love.

Despite his misgivings, Harry had agreed to meet with Draco for lunch just a week after that incident. They'd had fun, just talking, easily sidestepping any topic that might make them feel awkward or uncomfortable and Harry had enjoyed himself immensely.

They both lived for those touches and as they grew closer, both men welcomed them until they had become instinctive.