There Must Be More

Chapter 5

After waking up from a torturous dream that ended with Voldemort cutting off his left hand, Severus slowly began to realize several things at once. Firstly, he was still alive. Secondly, he shouldn't be. Alive, that is. Lastly, and perhaps the reason for his latest nightmare, he had lost all feeling in his left hand.

He dared to crack his eyes open. Although it was dark, he immediately knew he was in his own bedroom back at Hogwarts. And thus, he knew that whatever else had happened, he was safe. Safe. Such an odd and rare position for him to be in and yet now he absorbed it fully into his being. Muscles that had not relaxed in years now loosened with ease. Even without moving, he felt younger than he had any right to feel.

Then a sudden slight snore from his left startled him, triggering his reactions. He shot up, jerking his arm out from under a curl-adorned head. The instant he recognized who it was though, he relaxed again. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about her.

"Wha -- ow!" Her hand instantly went to her neck.

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger. I did not mean to startle you." When she did not respond, he attempted an, "Are you all right?" She continued to rub her neck, a look of pain on her face.

"It's all right. It's just...I have the bloodiest awful crick in my neck." He watched her continue to try to massage it away until finally he offered, "Perhaps I can help?"

She looked at him so quickly that he feared she would hurt herself again, but the look on her face was now more of surprise than pain. Realizing how foolish he had sounded, he said, to save face, "I meant a Warming Charm...on your hands? It would help loosen the knot..."

She remained silent, but her gaze had dropped from his face. Looking down, he realized that when he had sat up, the sheets had dropped from his torso, and as his shirt was still torn, his chest was fully exposed. Curiously, it looked different than he remembered it. Not only were the recent burn marks he had received gone but all the other scars he had accumulated from years as a Death Eater had vanished as well. What the hell had happened to him?

He looked up at Hermione, who brought her eyes back up to his as well. "I -- what happened?" he asked incredulously. She looked anxious, as if he might not approve of what she had done.

"Harry and I, we brought you to the Department of Mysteries. There's a room there --"

He cut her off. "If you're talking about love..." At her confused look, he realized his blunder. "I'm sorry. Please continue." Was it possible that she was blushing? He certainly felt like he was.

"As I was saying, there's a room there which we discovered the last time we were there. I think...I think it's where they study Time." Her eyes flicked to his quickly to make sure he wasn't going to interrupt her. "There's this bell jar on a desk in the front of the room. Last year, when we were fighting in there, I Stunned one of the Death Eaters, and he fell back into it. It...it didn't break. He just fell through it. And then the part of him that lay within it started shrinking. His head turned into a baby's and then back to an adult's and then back again." He was starting to understand where she was going with this.

"And you brought me there. Put me in the bell jar." He hadn't meant to sound so skeptical, but apparently that's how Hermione took it.

"It's a large bell jar, sir." The seriousness with which she said those words made Severus want to laugh, but he controlled himself, not wanting to chance offending her even more.

"I'm sure it was." It was her turn to look askance at him. Then, without warning, her face broke out into a grin. He smiled back at her. Suddenly, he realized why he felt so well rested and also why his scars were gone.

"When I was in there, you didn't just pull me out when I returned to my real age, did you?" Her widened eyes told him he had guessed correctly. "You waited until I turned into a baby and...had me...reborn." He watched her glance down at his arm and followed her gaze. He could hardly believe what he saw. His left forearm was completely bare of any markings. The Dark Mark was gone. He touched it tentatively, afraid he was hallucinating.

"It's gone, sir. Really," she added when he continued to stroke the place where it had been. She grabbed both his hands and looked him straight in the eyes. "Really, Severus." Dark eyes locked onto brown ones like magnets. There was something there in hers that, though they were only inches from his at the moment, he could have seen from a mile away. Hope...trust...acceptance... A delirious mixture of the three... He didn't know what it was, only that he wanted to drown in it forever. He leaned forward, and before he could think about what he was doing, closed his eyes and brought his lips to hers. For her part, she didn't immediately resist, and after the briefest moment of shock, began kissing him back in earnest. Her hands let go of his and started climbing up his arms. He brought his hands up to cup one against her cheek and the other at the base of her skull. She felt so right in his hands, her lips so good against his; surely this was the exactly purpose the Creator had shaped them for. It wasn't until they tried shifting the angle of their heads to get closer that she winced and gasped. Instantly, he dropped his hands and backed away, finally realizing what he -- what they -- had done.

"My God, Hermione. I never meant -- I'm so sorry..."

"No, it's just --" her hand had found its way back to her neck again -- "that kink. It hasn't gone away." Understanding tinged with relief swept through Severus, yet he did not move to touch her again.

"Still, I must apologize --"

"No, don't." She brought her other hand up to his mouth to stop him from saying another word. "It was...it was what it was." She had no idea how grateful he was that she had not finished that sentence with "nothing", "nice", or even "perfect". He was not ready to interpret what had just happened between them, and it suited him just fine to know that she hadn't yet either. So he remained quiet until she removed her hand from his mouth, frowning at the pain issuing from her neck.

After several seconds of feeling awkward for not being able to do anything else, and realizing that the Warming Charm he had suggested earlier would seem almost silly now, he tentatively reached out and put his much larger hand over hers. He felt her go rigid at the unexpected touch but then relax. Her hand was much cooler than his, and he felt his heat drain into her skin.

"Here, it's the least I can do." How many times had she saved his life now?

Sheepishly, she dropped her hand so that his came in direct contact with the skin where her neck met her shoulder. It too was cold to the touch. He slowly and lightly began to massage her neck, his fingers quickly finding the knot and concentrating there. A slight gasp and then a hiss was all that issued from her mouth. Still, those sounds resonated within him; he reveled in the knowledge that they came from what he was doing to her. Curious as to whether or not he could cause her to repeat them, he found himself bringing his other hand to the other side of her neck. Both his hands now echoed each other, alternating between kneading and digging wide circles with his thumbs. He could feel her melt under him, but the only sounds she let escape were from her very carefully controlled breaths.

Eventually, but sooner than he would have wished, she stilled his hands with hers, indicating that he had done enough. He dropped his hands reluctantly.

"Thank you, Severus. That was wonderful." Her voice seemed huskier than usual. "I...I should get going. I promised the Headmaster I would get some sleep as well."

Stay, said Severus in his head and with his eyes, but she failed to notice them as she stood up. His pride would not let him say the word out loud though, and he let her walk away from him.

At the doorway, she turned and said, "Good night, Severus. I'm glad...I'm glad you're all right." Still not trusting himself to speak out loud, he nodded at her. She left and closed the door behind her. It was several hours more before he could fall back asleep again, the memory of her skin beneath his hands and her lips against his still tingling as he did.

Likewise, Hermione was finding it just as difficult to sleep up in her room. She had no recollection of the journey back up to the Gryffindor tower. All she could remember was the look in his eyes just before he had closed them and kissed her. Rather than feeling guilty and ashamed as she thought she really ought to so soon after Ron's death, all she had felt when they were kissing was the rightness of it all. Now, however, she had to deal with the myriad of thoughts that were flying through her brain.

I can't believe we kissed! Damn, why didn't he kiss me before?

No, this is Severus! Professor Snape!

So what?

So, knowing him, he'll pretend it never happened and dismiss you as a just silly little girl tomorrow morning.

No! It wasn't like that. I saw it. I felt it!

Really? So what do you think is going to happen tomorrow? He'll come bearing roses and a ring?

I don't know. I don't know...

What do you want to happen?

Hermione didn't know that either, but she knew what she would have wanted to have happen if she had stayed in his rooms, under his fingers, for one second longer. Oh God, no one had ever made her feel that way before. Long after he had worked the kink out, she had just stayed there, concentrating on the delicious feelings his marvelous fingers were stirring in her. The heat from his fingers had reached far into her and pooled into an ever-growing puddle in the depths of her belly. It pulled and sang within her, and she knew that if his hypnotizing hands had strayed from where they were, she would not have stopped them, if only to know what else would happen to her body. Even in the midst of the most instinctive and primal experience she had ever had, her curious mind was still working and trying to catalog her responses.

But his hands stayed where they were, and her conscience finally took over. She couldn't ask him for anything more than he was willing to give, especially since she was so unsure herself of what she wanted from him. So, ever the practical one, she decided it was better to remove herself from temptation than to risk doing something they would both regret.

And although her skin still burned where his hands had touched her, she didn't regret it now. Wouldn't. He was safe now, and that was all that mattered. They would have tomorrow and all the days after that to figure out what else mattered.