The Secret Unspeakable

"Morning sunshine!"

"Too early," Leah murmured.

Lily laughed . "Oh, come on we need to talk and I want to eat breakfast without The High and Mighty breathing down my neck."

Leah quickly pulled on her uniform and headed down to breakfast with Lily. Lily was one of the only people Leah had ever told about her being the Secret Unspeakable. One night when she had come home from the Ministry after a particularly nasty fight with her father, she had broken down completely and confessed to Lily. Lily, being one of her only friends, had sworn to secrecy she would never tell a soul and Leah had been consoled temporarily.

"Leah!" Lily nearly yelled.

"Oh sorry, what?!"

"Look," she said, sounding a bit deflated.

"Look at what?"

As they entered the Great Hall there was an eerie silence. It was followed by a disheveled Sirius marching through the door after a...sad? James Potter.

Lily looked a bit confused as the two boys passed them.

"That was weird," she said. "I guess someone's not feeling so confident this morning!" She called after them. James turned around and to her surprise shot her a very nasty look.

Leah heard Lily gasp.

They went and took their usual spots, Lily next to Remus Lupin and Leah at the far end of the table with her twin brother Michael.

"Do you know what that was about?" Lily asked Remus.

"Um..." he looked around at Peter Pettigrew who gave him a look. "Just some trouble at home I think."

Lily looked from one boy to the other, shrugged and then began to eat her breakfast.

At the other end of the Gryffindor table, Leah had been thinking so much to herself about work the previous night she didn't even realize she was staring right down the table at Sirius Black, who had just returned from his chase after James. She quickly turned away and began eating her bacon.

"What the hell...," she heard Michael say.

"What?" Leah asked.

"You want to explain to me why Sirius Black is blatantly staring at you like that?" Michael said, with a hint of protectiveness in his voice.

"I don't know it doesn't matter, Mike, calm down."

Leah looked down the table and sighed. Sirius Black interested in her. Doubtful. She was inwardly flattered he even chanced a look at her but knew what she had to do in case he truly was interested. Which he probably wasn't. He probably just wants the one thing that most seventeen year old boys do these days, she thought.

"You know, they're all a bunch of players, Leah. Well, him and James at least. I think Sirius just noticed he missed out on dating one of the prettiest girls in the school," Michael said, smiling.

"Oh shut up. There are plenty more girls out there for him to date. Plus, no offense or anything, but boys are a waste of time." Men, on the other hand, might be worth my time. "I have to go though, I'll see you at lunch." She playfully hit his shoulder and began to walk out of the Great Hall.

"Shit...," she murmured as she saw Sirius get up from is chair out of the corner of her eye. She quickened her pace a bit but he finally caught up with her halfway to her transfiguration class.

"Hi," he simply said. Leah pretended like she couldn't hear him. "I'm Sirius Black and I couldn't help but notice-"

"Save it," she said firmly and started walking away. At this he grabbed her hand and tried again.

"I couldn't help but notice we hadn't been properly introduced. Unless, of course, you count last night." He smiled and winked. He was still holding her hand.

"Leah," she said, really meaning leave me alone. She wrenched her hand away from him and began walking again.

"Whoa, wait a sec! I was-"

"Mr. Black," interrupted Professor McGonagull, "would you please let Miss Boreanaz go to class. I believe you should be there yourself." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Right away, Professor," he muttered, desperately trying to make eye contact with Leah as he left. She felt her face burn as she walked into the transfiguration classroom and quietly sat down at her seat.

*---*

Later, that day, Leah sat in her dormitory thinking about what had happened that morning. She honestly didn't know why she was thinking about it so much. But then she thought that any girl in this school would be happy if Sirius Black, the best looking boy Hogwarts had ever seen, had even talked to her, so it was most likely normal. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned against the headboard of her bed. Leah didn't usually have boyfriends but the whole Secret Unspeakable thing couldn't stop her from having a crush on someone or even...fooling around. She rolled her eyes at herself. Not that she had a crush on him. The last time Leah had messed about with boys had been the previous summer and she wasn't exactly proud of it. So after that, she had stopped even trying to pursue a relationship with someone she liked or surrender to any guy that might like her. Instead she pushed them away, leaving her with a reputation of being "hard to get". She frowned at this.

Just then Lily burst through the door and immediately started talking,

"Hey! Don't forget-Prefect's meeting in about twenty minutes."

"K," Leah answered.

She really wasn't to keen on the whole idea of prefects, but to be one was an "honor" as her father called it.

She silently made her way down to the first floor to the room where the meeting would be held. She entered and took a seat next to Remus Lupin who smiled at her politely. Leah felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. After doing research at work about a year ago Leah had come across a file with Remus's name on it. Inside the contents had revealed that he was a werewolf. She had had no idea the Department of Mysteries kept tabs on certain magical creatures. Leah had felt in danger at first, but then realized it was probably difficult to live a life where you were forced to hide part of yourself. After all, she had done it since she was 14...

James Potter strolled in late and looked much more like himself. He and Lily conducted the meeting quite successfully and it was over in less than an hour. Right be fore the meeting ended, however, Remus asked her an interesting question.

"So you like Sirius?"

"I just talked to him for probably the first time in my life this morning. And please tell me he didn't ask his friends to talk to me for him," Leah said exasperatedly.

"No, no I was just wondering." Leah didn't look convinced. "He's not the bad, you know."

"Not that bad, huh?" Leah said, skeptically. "So he just comes of like an arrogant, self-absorbed git all the time then?"

Remus smiled knowingly, gave a little chuckle and shrugged. "Just letting you know."

*---*

Lily began to gather her notes and stuff them into her, already-stuffed bag. James was on her left, doing...well, doing nothing. Lily peered at him through the corner of her eye. He was definitely not acting the same today.

"Something wrong, Potter?" She asked in her best not-that-I-care voice.

"Nothing in particular, why? It's not in the job description of Head Girl to care about the Head Boy now is it?" He answered a bit icily.

Lily, a little taken aback, said, "Why shouldn't I care?"

He turned his body around towards the window behind them which looked out over the lake. "Because you hate me."

Thoroughly surprised now and definitely feeling guilty that someone, even James Potter, thought that she hated him, Lily turned around to face him. "I don't hate you, James."

He looked around at her thoughtfully. Then, not knowing what had come over her and misunderstanding the way her body began to move closer to his, Lily kissed him. She kissed him. And instead of feeling nothing, Lily felt something she had never felt before...

***

There it was again. That empty loneliness that nearly made her cry. Why can't I just fall asleep? Nothing was going right. Well, actually, everything would have been just fine for a normal sixteen year old girl. But Leah wasn't a normal girl. And she never would be.

Leah pulled the covers up to her chin, and finally fell asleep.