Four AM

Four AM

A songfic

It was far too early and cold to be happy and celebrating...the war, with its battles, enemies, nemeses, bright green flashes and blood had gone. But it was too early, in Harry's opinion. Too early, too cold, and too damned sad. He looked down at the red-haired girl lying at his feet. He had tried his hardest to kill her, the Dark Lord had, and he had cursed Harry as she had fallen at his feet. Harry had been too busy dodging his following attack, aimed at Harry, and Voldemort was killed by who could have been his successor.

Draco Malfoy had evenly held out his wand, dark wood with the silver dragon emblem on the handle. His hand had not shaken, and he had spoken the words like they were everyday vocabulary for him. God only knew that they were, at Malfoy Manor. But Harry knew Draco had not killed Lord Voldemort for him, he had killed him because he and the dying red-haired girl had been in love, and Draco could not save her, but he could avenge her.

Harry did not know at the present where Draco was, but he knew Ginny was trying in such vain to tell Harry something, that Harry had to bend low to listen to the words coming out of her barely-parted lips.

"Don't you see, Harry?" Ginny said very hoarsely, very weakly. "Don't you see, you were never his target...all along, it was never you..." She breathed in a strained, slow way. "It was always me, Harry, don't you see..."

Harry dropped to his knees. "No, Ginny, don't flatter yourself that he wanted you dead. It was me, Gin, and you know it, goddamnit, you know it!" He shouted the last words at the smaller girl lying under him. She smiled in a sardonic way and closed her eyes. Her red Weasley hair was stained with so many things...mud, rain, dirt, and blood...her own.

I walked around my good intentions
And found that there were none

"Think about it, Harry," she whispered, barely audible. "Think about it, and you'll find out...you'll...you'll realize you knew, you knew, Harry, it was always me, and...you know me, I couldn't flatter myself if I tried..."

Her hand was cold in his hand, but her eyes fluttered every few seconds, as though she was trying to stay awake. Harry hated to think what would happen if she 'fell asleep.'

I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked

Harry felt someone standing nearby, but he knew he would regret it if he looked. He knew who it was. He knew who else wanted to be where Harry had the great privilege of being...kneeling here at her side, holding her hand, having her tell him she was going to die instead of him. That he was never going to die. That it had been him all along.

"It was never you either," Her almost silent voice said. Harry heard the sound of someone's wand hitting the ground. He turned his head enough to watch the wand with the dragon-emblem-ed silver handle roll away from its owner. Draco soon followed half its path, and he sat silently on Ginny's other side.

I never thought I would forget this hate
Till a phone call made me realize

I'm wrong

Ginny managed somehow to raise her weak other hand, and he took hold of it gingerly. Not like he held his wand, Harry thought. Not like he was willing to brandish it at anyone at anytime. Not like he could put it up as soon as he heard fighting words. A drop of what Harry thought was rain fell on Ginny's hand, and a matching one dripped onto her other hand. He let go with one of his own and wiped his cheek, and realized...he was crying. It was such an unfamiliar feeling to Harry.

If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope God I figure out
What's wrong

But it had taken so long for him to realize he loved this girl, and now she was about to die...he grimaced when he thought back to all the chances he had to tell her that, to take her away and have her be his forever. But now he sat across from his greatest adversary, who loved her just as much, but had for longer. Much longer.

I walked around my room
Not thinking

Just sinking in this box
I blame myself for being too much
Like somebody else

Before Harry knew quite what he was doing, he was talking to Ginny. Her eyes had closed, and he wasn't certain if she could hear him or not. He knew Draco was listening, but he didn't care.

"Ginny Weasley, I love you, and I don't care who else loves you too, or for how long...except...I do care about how long Draco has loved you. He deserves you more, Ginny. He's never made you have to die for him. He's always been there for you to run to after I set some awful impressions in your beautiful heart, after I made tears fall down your beautiful face..."

I never thought I would just
Bend this way

Till a phone call made me realize I'm wrong

He broke off as a fresh wave of tears washed over him. Draco looked at him carefully. "You take who you want because you want to, Ginny," he told her, without actually looking at her. "Because he's who you decided on. Not because one of us deserves you more. But...I have a grave feeling you won't be able to make this decision. I love you, Ginny. Every but as much as Harry does."

Ginny's eyes opened the tiniest bit. "I love you both, every bit as much as the other," she whispered, and the hands being held by the two young men went limp and her beautiful, honest, young eyes closed for good.

And if I don't make it known that

I loved you all along

Just like sunny days that

We ignored because

We're all dumb and jaded

And I hope to god I figure out

What's wrong