Dumbledore's Legacy to the Half-Blood Prince

Dumbledore's Legacy to the Half-Blood Prince

Chapter Six: In The Pensieve

mytabAlbus Dumbledore looked relaxed as he sat at his desk reading a huge book. Small silver objects were whirring on a table near him, and his resplendent phoenix, Fawkes, was deeply asleep on his perch, his head under one wing. Quite a variety of snores came from the portraits on the wall, although Armando Dippet appeared to be playing a game of Gobstone Solitaire.

mytabSnape, with Lupin beside him, looked at Dumbledore and then quickly away. In contrast, Lupin gazed at Dumbledore as though longing to greet an old friend.

mytabDumbledore seemed to be expecting the knock when it came, and called, "Come in." A painfully gaunt young man of twenty-two years opened the door. He had a curtain of greasy black hair parted by his large nose. His thin lips were firmly set in a scowl.

mytab"Come in, come in, Severus." Dumbledore pointed to a chair. "I believe it has been four years since you were here as a student? And you have been quite busy since then."

mytab"I'm leaving the Dark Lord - I can't be a part of - be one of his Death Eaters anymore." Snape swallowed painfully as he continued in a hurried, flat tone. "And I must tell you that the Dark Lord is planning to take action, to kill the baby mentioned in the prophecy. I do not know more than that."

mytabDumbledore said in a mild voice, "Ah, yes, the prophecy. Tell me... how did Voldemort receive the news last year?"

mytab"That is all I have to say." Snape's face was obstinate in expression.

mytabAs Snape watched his Pensieve-self, he remembered how he had hated Dumbledore's casual response. He had not been sure if Dumbledore was an ancient fool or an omniscient presence. He remembered being able to easily block the Headmaster's entrance to his mind.

mytab"If you plan to desert Voldemort..." Dumbledore watched as Snape winced, "you do know that the chances of survival are low, virtually zero?" He continued to look deeply into Snape's eyes.

mytabSnape's expression was shuttered as he stated, "I'll take my chances."

mytabDumbledore's eyes snapped with impatience. "Severus, you are a Death Eater. Surely Voldemort's latest plan is no different than any other. Even if you haven't killed yet for Voldemort, surely you have prepared the Dark magic needed for his many murders. You will have to do better than this. Why come to me now? Does this have anything to do with James and Lily Potter?"

mytabFor the first time during the interview, Snape's control cracked. "It has nothing to do with James Potter!" he snarled.

mytab"You will never heal as long as you hold on to your hate, Severus." Snape stayed still, with his face in immobile rigid lines. Dumbledore sighed in sadness. "Why so much hatred, Severus? Tell me, my boy."

mytabSnape lost all of his tenuous control. "I AM NOT YOUR BOY! DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM OR WHAT I'VE DONE!" He stood up with his wand raised; his breath was coming fast.

mytabDumbledore slowly raised his own wand and caused Snape's arm to drop. He walked over to Snape and grasped him by the shoulder. The young wizard flinched, and then relaxed, as though Dumbledore's hand was radiating tremendous warmth. "What, then? Severus, you will need to show me. You must know I cannot possibly use any information you want to give me unless I can be sure of your integrity."

mytabOn the night he had approached Dumbledore about Voldemort's plans, Snape had been fresh from four years of Death Eater activity. He was as much of a lost cause as it was possible to be. He had just made his first choice leading away from the Dark Lord, but only did so to avoid being part of the prophecy plan. He had no hope of redemption, no hope of a better way of life, until the touch of Dumbledore's hand.

mytabSnape shifted uneasily next to Lupin. He remembered how Dumbledore's touch had evoked memories of his mother's lullabies and her soft kisses before bedtime, how it had recalled the sounds of his baby sister giggling at him and calling him "Zef" in her baby voice.

mytabDumbledore put slight pressure on Snape's shoulder, and the two wizards sat down. As though he were under a very powerful spell, Snape looked up into Dumbledore's eyes and began his story.

mytabHaltingly, Snape told him about his baby sister and how she had died. How he, Snape, had been responsible. How he had lost his temper and shouted at his father. How the baby had cried for him - had reached towards him. How he caused the shelf to fall on his father and sister, crushing them to death. How his mother had called him a monster. How she had never forgiven him. And how he knew then that he WAS a monster, and a wizard.

mytabDumbledore waited for a moment and asked, "Is this why you have come, then, to save another baby when you could not save your own?"

mytabSnape's face broke as he struggled to keep his emotions under control. He angrily blinked back his tears. "I didn't think...I never realized he would choose to act now...kill a baby...instead of waiting to assess the danger." He was shaking his head in disbelief. "A baby...so innocent, so helpless...so small." Snape's eyes widened as he stared into Dumbledore's face. "It was as though I suddenly woke up." A slight tremor ran through his body as he continued speaking with a new urgency. "It was my fault - I gave the Dark Lord the information. This cannot happen. I had to do something!"

mytabDumbledore continued to gaze at Snape and then nodded, as if to himself. He took his hand off Snape's shoulder. "And the identity of this baby from the prophecy?"

mytab"The...Dark Lord...has not yet decided between the Potter or the Longbottom child, but he is preparing to attack soon, in a few months...he may target both."

mytabDumbledore asked Snape for a few more details about Voldemort's plan, and then sighed as he said, "I will take the necessary actions that this information dictates, Severus. Your help is most appreciated."

mytab"Tell me, where will you go?" he continued. "You do know Voldemort has spies everywhere?"

mytabSnape saw Lupin glance at him, and then look back at the Pensieve-Snape. He wanted to sit down, but did not want to give Lupin the satisfaction of knowing how shaken he was. Snape remembered how heavy and limp he had felt in his chair after revealing everything to Dumbledore. It had been the very first time he had told anyone about what he had done as a boy. He remembered that he could not understand how Dumbledore could be so calm, how he could be expressing concern about Snape's future plans.

mytabThe Pensieve-Snape slowly shook his head, as if to indicate that he had no certain plans.

mytab"I can hide you, Severus, but I don't think you would be satisfied with that for long. I would like to offer you an alternate plan that might serve us both - I assume Voldemort still wants you inside Hogwarts as a spy?" Snape nodded silently. "Tell him you have been successful - that you have fooled me with a show of remorse and that I am an old fool that trusts too easily - and come here to Hogwarts. It will not be easy, but you are an accomplished Occlumens. The life of a double agent is a lonely one; you will be distrusted by some on both sides. But then - sadly - that is not new for you, is it?"

mytabSnape's eyes flashed with anger, but then his features relaxed into a quiet acceptance of the truth. He looked exhausted. "I would like to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."

mytabDumbledore's eyes twinkled. "You will be our new Potions professor, Severus. I'd like to keep you around for a while, and I think our Defense class would be too tempting for a... reformed Death Eater."

mytabSnape's face stiffened in anger. "You don't trust me."

mytab"I trust your intentions, Severus, and you have made the first step here today in earning that trust. You have much to learn, including the skill of producing a Patronus."

mytab"That is weak magic; magic that depends on a happy memory!" Snape sneered as he spoke.

mytab"Ah yes, you have much to learn."

mytabSnape and Lupin soared upwards away from the scene and landed back in the Prince attic.

mytabSnape felt drained. He felt for the desk edge in front of him to keep himself from falling. Reliving the memory of his talk with Dumbledore had further opened his mind. He felt a great emptiness, matched only by the bitterness of having to share this memory with Lupin.

mytabLupin came forward with concern on his face, but Snape waved him off and ground out, "Stay away from me, werewolf!" He regretted ever showing Lupin the memory. He regretted all he was doing and felt a deep resentment for Dumbledore and his demands of loyalty. Would he never be free of this millstone of obligation around his neck? He had not bargained for the pain of being peeled to the core.

mytabLupin said quietly, "Severus...I am not the enemy. As long as you hold this hatred inside, you will always remain in danger of being lured by the likes of Voldemort. You were a small boy. You were in an impossible situation...and you know that juvenile magic can emerge in violent ways."

mytabSnape looked away from Lupin. A strange expression appeared on his pale face. He felt a flame of anger for Lupin - how dare he think he understood? How dare Lupin attempt to console him?

mytabAfter a moment, Snape straightened up, mustered his customary sarcasm, and glared as he said, "Well, was that good enough for you? Anything else that you might want to view, and then take back and share with friends and family?" He carefully removed the contents of the Pensieve and returned them to his temple.

mytabLupin studied Snape for a moment and then pulled out the notes from his satchel, placing them upon the large desk. The two men sat on opposite sides of the desk and Snape began to talk.

mytabHe withheld his mother's journal entries, but described briefly her connection with the Dark Lord. Snape first pointed out the general sections of research, and then went back to the specific information he thought would be most useful. He knew Dumbledore had talked briefly to Lupin before taking... Potter (he could not even now think of the boy without sneering) to the Cave that last night, and was relieved that he did not have to review the Horcrux basics.

mytab"As you can see, here is a list of specific Horcrux curses, all those that are known. Despiritus, Inferius, etc. One of these was most probably used in the Cave, but...Potter will know that. Some, as indicated, are designed to preserve the delicate soul fragment indefinitely, while others protect the Horcrux from discovery by an enemy. Either type of Curse will most likely cause serious injury, or even kill the intruder. If Potter and his friends can use this information, they may have a chance - a very slim chance - of destroying the Horcruxes unscathed."

mytabSnape paused and leaned back in his chair. "I believe a bracelet of my mother's might be the missing Horcrux. She mentioned the Dark Lord's interest in it while writing in her diary. It originally belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw, and I have recorded the description for you here."

mytabLupin leaned forward with interest to scan the information. Snape continued, "The Dark Lord shares little of his travels, but I will do my best to collect information about his movements. They might reveal possible Horcrux locations; I do not know." He paused. "I do not know how much longer I can avoid his suspicion of me."

mytabLupin looked up with alarm. "What of your Occlumency skill? Does Voldemort suspect?"

mytabSnape could not believe that he had just said out loud exactly what he had been thinking. The Half-Blood Prince really was growing weak and pathetic! "Of course not! But knowing Potter's level of...skill, I might be in need of St. Mungo's Old Age Division before he is successful."

mytabLupin assessed Snape curiously for a moment more before gathering up the scattered notes. "If I didn't know you would bite my head off, I would thank you for this information. I will discuss it with Harry, Ron, and Hermione directly. They, of course, will not be told that this came from you. You are not too...popular at the moment. And I will not share your...personal information with anyone. It is yours to share with whom you see fit."

mytab"Oh, it is mine to share? I wish I had known that when you hauled that Pensieve out!" Snape scowled as he bit out the words.

mytabLupin smiled. He told Snape he would refrain from communicating unless something of vital importance occurred. "If any secrets leak at this point, the plan is finished."

mytabBy the time Lupin departed it was dark outside. The stars were twinkling above through the London smog, but Snape was unaware of their beauty. He sat hunched, with his head in his hands, on an old dust-sheeted sofa. For so long he had the protection of Dumbledore, in addition to his toxic defensive wall. He had neither now.