Permanent Scars

Chapter fourteen

Draco had just sat down to dinner, when he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door and, much to his disgust, there stood Harry.

"You again, Potter? I thought I made it clear to Dumbledore that you're not welcome here," Draco said unkindly. "Why would you want to come here anyway, when you know you're not welcome?"

Harry scowled, and then replied, "Dumbledore seems to think that my coming here is a good idea."

Draco felt stymied. He thought he had made it clear that he didn't want Potter coming over, but now it was obvious to him that Dumbledore was going to force them to spend time together.

'Interfering old bastard,' Draco thought, thwarted.

He walked, resignedly, back to the table. Would this torture never end?

They sat in silence, eating their meal.

Once they were finished, Harry took his book bag out. He reached into the bag, grabbed his Transfiguration book, and started his homework.

Draco went and sat in a chair by the fire, pretending to study. Instead, he was thinking about what Dumbledore had said. He didn't understand how hating Harry was hurting him. Harry was the one with the nightmares. He was the one that looked like he hadn't slept in a week.

Draco looked over the top of the book he was pretending to read. He saw Harry leaning over his parchment writing something down.

He thought about what he knew of Harry's personality. Harry had all the Gryffindor qualities that Draco sneered at: loyalty, honesty, bravery.

He hated Harry, but even he had to admit that Harry wouldn't have caused the accident deliberately.

Dumbledore said carrying this hatred towards Harry was only hurting himself. He realized that he had spent a lot of time brooding on it.

He was always thinking, 'what if?' What if he had done the skera roots and not Potter? What if he would have been paying more attention to what Potter was doing? What if he had never complained about Longbottom? Would the accident still have happened? The what-ifs tortured Draco's mind until he thought he would go mad.

The more he thought about it, the more he could see that obsessing over the accident was having a detrimental effect on him. He was fixated on what had happened and on his hatred of Potter. It was all taking its toll.

He felt exhausted by it. He couldn't concentrate. His grades were slipping. Even though he could see that he WAS paying a price for harbouring this anger, he didn't know how to go about ridding himself of it. Did he just tell Potter, "I forgive you?"

He went over it again and again in his mind, uncertain about what to do.

He finally decided that he would forgive Potter. He just couldn't carry the burden of all the bitterness and hatred any longer. It was wearing him down. He decided that it just wasn't worth it; that he wasn't going to be a victim of the Potions accident for the rest of his life. He wasn't going to let what happened control and dominate him.

He would forgive Potter, not for Potter's sake, but his own.