A Prayer to Aphrodite

Notes: Originally published under the pen name "nyx." I do indeed know how to capitalize - it's stylistic. :)

*
the sky is purple
like a bruise
and i lie beneath it counting all the
dreams i fear i'll lose
*

this game is meaningless. i don't know why we try. it's the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong situation, the wrong two people.

no. maybe it's not the wrong two people, but all the same, it feels empty. i know that as our bodies toss and turn on the bed we are simply seeking release. i know that had anyone else been near me, this same thing would have happened, damn the consequences. i know that i'll regret this, that i already do. i wanted to make love to you the right way - perfect, as i shed my virginity on our wedding night. but that wedding night is too far away, and you are too close to me.

too close to me.

now that the darkness slowly spreads over the world - not the darkness of night, which is as mystical and formless as it ever was, but the darkness of death - i break the vow that i made to myself, i betray the promise i made when i dreamed that dream. perhaps we can keep a light burning a little longer, seeking solace in each other, but somehow i don't believe that it's helping. in the morning, we must arise and fight. tonight, we kiss and fondle and pretend that we're doing this out of love, yet we both know that it's an act of fear - fear that we will die before our time is up, fear that we will have never really known each other.

it breaks my heart, now, to say that we don't.

so as i feel your lips on my skin and see the blackness of despair in your eyes, i offer up a silent prayer to aphrodite. i simply pray as your body moves against mine, praying for a life of dreams that were never mine and never will be mine. i made that decision when i fell in love with you.

just as i made the decision to give you my body as well as my soul without really understanding why, until it was too late.

*
i numb to nothing
then i wonder where i've gone
these bloodless veins won't carry a song
*