Inquietudine

With a last swipe of lips upon lips, Draco sauntered out through the doorway, leaving a thoroughly debauched Ron just standing there. Staring at the open door as if he'd just seen a ghost. Mumbling under his breath, he picked up his robes and high tailed it out of there before Mrs. Norris could catch his scent. He knew she and Filch wouldn't be around there for another 10 minutes, but he didn't want to take the risk.

Back in the common room, Ron sat on the sofa, gazing into the fire. He stayed there long after everyone had gone up to bed. He had too much on his mind to go to sleep quite yet. Draco's words had burned a hole through his heart. It was taking everything he had just to stop from breaking down right there. Ah, fuck it. And he let the tears roll down his face.

Draco was back in his bed, enshrouded among the curtains. The slow sniff snore grunt of Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him just loud enough to keep him from slumber. Like Ron, thoughts were thrumming through his head a million miles a minute. He shifted on his mattress, willing his eyes to stay closed and his mind to go blank.

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Wisps and remembrances of a happier time were floating through both of their heads. Stolen kisses between classes. Furtive glances in the over full Great Hall. That first shocking sweetness of new love, even if it does have to be hidden.

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Dawn crept up slowly on the castle as Ron laggardly rose from his bed. He'd gotten little sleep the night before and his head felt like the winning hand of a game of exploding snap. Wanting to be out of the dorm before the others woke up, he quickly dressed, gathered his things, and journeyed through the corridors towards the Great Hall.

Draco lay in bed, not wanting to move for fear of an aching body. He was perfectly fine right now, curled up among the blankets. Except he wasn't. It was morning, and he had to get up and face the day. I wish this whole fucking world would just go away. Hearing his dorm mates' movement, and unwilling to bear the image of a semi naked Crabbe and Goyle, he stayed there for a few more minutes until he heard the click of the door.

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Both could remember waking up before sunlight hit windows, hurrying to get back to their dorms before they were noticed. Getting changed out of night clothes heady with the scent of sex. A fullness in their hearts.

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Piling food up on his plate, Ron ate hungrily, wanting not to face his friends or Draco until he absolutely had to. Pancakes and eggs and toast were devoured before the taste had time to register on his tongue. Hermione would scold him for this, he knew, but she wasn't here. He wondered how long he could avoid everyone else before people started noticing.

Draco stalked down the halls, a permanent scowl etched into his features. As long as he kept this up, no one would know the difference. Except Ron. He struggled to keep that thought out of his head as he neared the doors to the Great Hall. Upon entering, Draco glanced over to the Gryffindor table. With no sign of Ron, he sat down next to Pansy, using her inane prattle to help drown out his racing mind.

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They don't like to think of how it was before. How it soon will be again. Fights and insults and no way to make up for it afterwards. Unshed tears welling, begging to be released. Declarations of love only a hairbreadth away, but kept in check.

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On the way to Transfiguration that morning, Ron couldn't keep Draco off of his mind. He couldn't believe what was happening, wished there was someone to talk about this with. But no one had known about them, nor ever would if Ron had his way. He knew Hermione would... accept him and his choices. But there was no way she would understand. With Harry... he'd rather just avoid the topic altogether. Nothing good could happen from that conversation.

Draco left breakfast with a pleasant buzz of chatter filling his brain. Ha. Didn't even think of him once... Shit. His day progressed slowly, concentrating on the droning of teachers and scritch scratch of quill against parchment. Despite a niggling voice inside his head, he looked around for Ron again at lunch. He wasn't there, and an immediate panic settled over him, but he quickly shook it off. Why should I care? It's not my problem.

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Ron didn't truly know what had happened to make things get this bad again. Sure, Draco told him that he didn't love him anymore, but he knew that wasn't true. There was no way that it could be. He'd have known. If anything, Draco was scared. Of what, he wasn't that sure of.

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He had to go see him. There was no one else he could turn to, no one else who would give a damn. Much as he knew Draco would try to avoid him at all costs, he wouldn't-couldn't-give him that satisfaction. Draco needed him. And he needed Draco. That's all there was to it.

Hastily finishing his dinner, Draco strode toward the exit, trying hard to stay upright till he reached the Slytherin dormitories. He didn't care to be seen sprawled out in the middle of a hallway,tears drip drip dripping from scrunched closed eyes. He was halfway there before he felt strong hands coming down on his shoulders, holding him in place. Turning around, he felt a scowl descend upon his face.

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Draco couldn't stay with Ron. He knew things were progressing too fast, too soon. He thought Ron understood that the arrangement was temporary. His mother was already planning a wedding for him, with whom he was unsure. He hoped Ron understood

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Ron loved Draco. He loved him. But he couldn't say it. Couldn't explain it in words simple enough. So he did the only thing that occurred to him. Lips captured lips, one struggling to get the other to respond. To understand. He had to. He didn't know what else he could do to convince him.

Draco stood there, all ready to launch into some tirade about money, breeding and family, when he felt it. A mouth smashing against his, trying its best to come together into some semblance of a kiss. Recognizing it for what it was, he tried to pull away, only to be brought close again by those large, willful arms. Realizing that he wasn't about to get out of this, and really, it was starting to feel mildly pleasant now, he leaned in, letting the kiss overtake him.

He didn't think that Draco would let him get this far. Thought he'd be down on his arse with a bloody nose or a black eye. Merlin knows he would have been capable of it. He could have stopped him at any time. But he didn't. He was standing there, snogging Draco for all he's worth. He just hoped his message would come through.

Draco finally pulled back, for lack of air. He needed to find out what, exactly, was going on. So he asked him. Tired of standing and waiting when no answer was forthcoming, he tried to turn around and walk away, when he was halted yet again by those unyielding, freckled arms. He looked up to his eyes and... damnit, he shouldn't have done that. A simple glance form those eyes could convey so much, if you knew what to look for.

Nothing could keep them apart. Ron knew that, and he was sure Draco knew that as well. He needed to convince him of this, and so far that wasn't happening. When he turned him around again and stared into his eyes, he found that they were filled with evident sorrow. Brushing fingertips across Draco's cheek, tears slowly started trailing down pale skin.

Why is he doing this? Why can't he just fucking leave me alone? Draco stood there, tears falling, letting Ron wipe them away. He had to do something, so he decided. When Ron's fingertips reached his lips, he kissed them. Ron pulled them back, and Draco grabbed the back of his head and brought him down into a mind numbing kiss. Tears still flowed, saltiness drifting into the mingling of mouths.

Ron finally understood. He pulled away and stared back into Draco's eyes, then quickly turned and ran. Draco stood there, tear stained face and quivering lips, wondering if he could take it back. Make it right again. But he knew otherwise. So he wiped his eyes on his sleeve and took off at a run to the dorms.