The Darkness Inside

Prologue

The room was dark and nearly deserted. Only a single person was sitting motionless near one of the windows, staring up into the nightly sky. The moon and the stars were covered by clouds so no light shone down.

The party downstairs was still loud and wild, though only little noise made its way up to his room. The festivities weren't for him, that was for sure and though he had been allowed to participate for a while he had been sent to bed quite early.

They would never permit him to get up too late or to be tired the day he left for school.

He never would.

Just a couple of more hours and he would be back. The holidays had been as usual. As boring as usual. The same faces, the same stupid actions, each of them only worth to lead him closer to the day of departure. Only one thing had been different. Well, not really, but he definitely wouldn't want to think about it right now. When he finally would be able to enter the black and red train again, bringing him back to the only place he had ever felt home - well, at least more home then .... at home. He sniggered at the silly wordplay, stopping when he realized the hopelessness behind it. At least he would see some of his friends again. Though 'friend' was a strange term in his world.

'A friend is someone you can trust', she had once told him. Could he trust anyone? He was aware of the fact that he had lots of enemies and that there were many people protecting him. Maybe 'confidant' was a better term.

Only a few more hours and he would get rid of them.

They would get rid of him.

'-'

Far away another boy was sitting in his room, staring into the flickering light of a candle. The clock on his night desk said 4pm. The house was silent, only now and then a familiar yet hated snoring disturbed the peacefulness. As well being unable to find sleep he had decided to read a bit, but couldn't concentrate on the story. He was waiting for the alarm to ring, to tell him he was finally able to leave this place. Actually it should have been the other way round. He should have been sad to find the vacation was gone. This surely was a reaction most of the other students would consider to be quite strange and abnormal.

But things had never been normal in Harry Potter's life. At least this summer had promised to be a change. He had so longed to spend it with his godfather Sirius. Only the memory of him made him wince in pain. For a small moment there had been a glimmer of hope; that the bad times had finally come to an end.

Then Sirius had died, died for saving his - Harry's - life. Just like his parents and so many other people had done.

No one could tell how sick he was of all of this. Sick of being persecuted, hunted, threatened, sick of watching other people sacrificing their lives for him. He didn't feel he was worth it. Maybe the Dursleys should have just given him away, to an orphanage or something; maybe then he wouldn't ever have been found.

Of course this was nonsense and he knew that just too well, but still - he still wished to be a normal boy, just a normal boy, like his best friend Ron or Seamus or Neville. Or maybe a girl like Hermione. The last thought made him laugh and eased the pain over his loss for a second.

Ron and Hermione. And Hagrid. And his other friends in school. And Dumbledore, Lupin ....

It definitely could have been worse.

His fingers stroke over Buckbeat's feather, Sirius had sent him with the Feuerblitz and again he felt the heavy load, a mixture of fear and guilt, on his shoulders.

Soon he would come back to Hogwarts.

Soon he would be where he wanted to be, where he had to be to do what had to be done.

The days of waiting and preparation were over.

Soon he would be able to take revenge.