His Angel

'One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends'

'Crucio.'

The pain assaulted his senses like a thousand knives stabbing him all over his body. It went deeper, making his bones feel as though they were shattering. He crumbled to the floor and lay there, limbs stuck out at odd angles, like a marionette dropped by it's owner, rocking, twitching...

... and screaming.

His yells pieced the night so suddenly, sleeping birds and animals were woken and promptly fled from the sounds of pure agony. Every nerve in his body burned with pain and his muscles were cramping as his tormentor looked on with pleasure and laughed. He wanted it to stop. That was his only thought. End the pain, end his suffering, by any means possible. If death was the only way out, then so be it. The torture was unlike anything he'd ever experienced.

Since the last time it was done to him at least.

* * * * *

I wait. I always do. I can't sleep when he's away, and a lack of sleep at the moment isn't good for me. I worry, and with good reason.

I suppose I need some introduction. I'm Angelita Scott and I'm the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor here at Hogwarts. I was glad to find that I came back to teach with a number of my old school friends, Sibyll Trelawney, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey and Athena Sprout to name a few. But one name stood out on the list I was given, for rather embarrassing reasons. Or at least the were when I was at school.

I was in the year below him and throughout my 5th, 6th and 7th (although he wasn't there) years no other girl held Severus Snape in her heart the way I did. This was an unfortunate position for me because I was in Gryffindor and it's common knowledge that he was the very embodiment of Salazar Slytherin. So I was forced to keep my feeling to myself or risk social suicide. It's not easy to worship the ground someone walks on without others noticing. We were on speaking terms and a friendship even developed (secret, of course because of our houses) as I was also a good potions student and the professor regularly organised extra credit activities. As the only Gryffindor there I was something of an oddity.

I did not let on that I had any feelings for him until the day before his graduation. I had no reason to think he would return them, so if he rejected me I'd only have to face him for one day. He did not accept me but said that he did want to keep in contact after he left, which we did for a while, so neither did he completely reject me. He was also a gentleman and kept my confession a secret, another thing I respect him for.

We did keep in contact but the letters became few and far between and eventually stopped. I never forgot him though. He has had his own designated space in my heart, and he always will.

Then I came to teach at Hogwarts. I went looking for Severus before the feast and surprise, surprise I found him in the same dungeon we spent so much of our lives in years ago. We talked all the way through the feast and for hours after it. He was still the same Severus I used to know, except now he had a lot more emotional baggage. He told me all about his past and his life now, as a double agent, and he was shocked and relived to find that I did not run off screaming. We carried on talking into the small hours and, needless to say, ended up in each others arms.

The first time he went to a Death Eater gathering that year I was beside myself with worry. He came back with terrible injuries and a concussion. Since then I wait up for him when he goes away to these gatherings, not that I'd be able to sleep anyway, to be ready to look after, and heal him if he needs it. He has sometimes come back unharmed, usually he has a range of not too serious wounds but once or twice he's come back on the brink of death. He goes through so much and he's done it alone for so long but now he has me. I would lay down my life for him and he knows that.

It's January and my bedroom's cold when I get there, so I light a fire and attempt to distract myself with marking some essays. As hard as I try I can't stop the thought that he may not come back at all creep into the corners of my mind.

Well, that does it. I can't even pretend to be distracted now.

Instead I occupy myself by packing a bag with all the things I usually need on nights like these and a few others in case anything unexpected presents it's self.

Once that's done I resolve to pacing round my room, wringing my hands, looking out of my window twenty times a minute and willing the seconds to pass faster.

Then I see what I've been waiting for. A dark figure stumbles out of the Forbidden Forest. I feel my muscles tense. I can tell what sort of state he'll be in by the way he walks out of the trees. The figure takes a few more staggering paces before collapsing in a crumpled heap.

Panic rushes through me as I swirl my cape around my shoulders, grab my bag and bolt out of my room, through deserted corridors and stairways, out of the entrance hall and into the bitter cold.

It's raining and windy. I trip over and hit my knee. I curse, but get straight back up again. I can't let the weather slow me down, I have to get to him as soon as possible. I can now see a black tangle of robes ahead of me. It's not moving. I urge myself to go faster.

There before of me a dark shape lays sprawled upon the ground. His robes are in tatters. He's holding his right arm to his side, it looks broken

I fall to the ground beside him.

'Severus, can you here me?'

His eyes open and focus on me. He makes an effort to pull himself up, only to collapse once more upon the wet grass.

'It's ok, I'm here now. You'll be all right.'

'My... angel,' says a weak but discernible voice from the ground next to me. Angel is what he calls me. It's short for Angelita, but I know what he really means.

His pulse feels faint and irregular beneath my fingers, and his skin is icy cold. I pull my spare cloak from my bag and as I wrap it around him he shivers uncontrollably, and no wonder: he's soaked to the skin.

'Can you stand?' I ask shakily, stroking his forehead, only to find that it is covered in blood.

'I... don't... think so,' comes the soft reply.

OK

I get my wand out and cast a levitation charm. His limp body rises, with moans of discomfort, to my waist height. I check that the cloak is still wrapped around him and I make my way back to the school with my lover hovering in front of me.

Thankfully I get him to his room without encountering anyone. We've run into Filch a few times but luckily Severus was able to walk so Filch didn't suspect anything.

His dungeon bedroom is icy. I lay him down on the bed and light a fire.

'You're freezing,' I tell him as I sit down next to him.

'You... d-don't... s-say,' he replies through chattering teeth. Some of his usual sarcastic tone has returned so I can console myself that his head has suffered no lasting damage, this time. He tries to smile but it turns into a grimace.

His robes have been torn to rags. The right sleeve is completely shredded and I can see where his arm is broken. The sight of the disjointed bones makes my stomach turn. I see other injuries through the tears on his chest.

'He... q-questioned my... loyalt-ty to him... t-tonight. H-he... suspects something.'

I sigh. 'I'll go and run you a bath.'

Through trial and error, I have found that a bath is the best way to begin treating him. It's the quickest way to warm and relax him. I add a rosemary infusion to the water, it has healing properties and will aid peaceful sleep.

I return to the bedroom and levitate him again, still with painful moans, pick up my bag, the various bottles clink together in an almost melodious way as we go into the bathroom.

He stands before me, supported by my magic, and I undress him. I try to be as gentle as I can but with every button I undo his face contorts in pain. I understand why as I take off his robes.

'What did this?'

'He's... managed to get... a manticore.'

There are deep slashes all over his chest that look like they were made by claws. They are dripping blood down his body, my hands are covered with it. I want to say some very insulting things about Voldemort, at a high level of decibels, but I know that will do no good, so I keep it to a very composed 'And he just let it maul you?' Severus merely nods weakly in reply. The damage doesn't stop there. His back is literally black and blue with bruises, there is a ragged slit in his left upper thigh and judging by his laboured and obviously pained breathing, a few ribs are broken. There is also a sort of space in his eyes, they seem empty, hollow. I don't know how many times it's been used but the effects of the Cruciatus Curse are obvious. He's a sorry sight, but I love him.

He cannot go into the water with all those flesh wounds, so I go to my bag.

'You must... be... aware of... how... undignified... this is for... me.' His voice is still weak and faltering. I can't stand hearing him talk like that. His voice commands fear and respect, it is smooth, sophisticated, sweeping, sinister, seductive ('s' seems to fit when describing his voice) and has terrified generations of students to the point of heart attack and it should never, ever be heard like this, so wounded and venerable.

I find what I'm looking for and return to his exposed figure. 'Oh shhh. It's not like I haven't seen it all before.' He tries to smile. 'Dumbledore thought I might be able to put these to good use,' I say holding a small bottle of clear liquid.

'What's... that?'

'Phoenix tears.' I let a few drops fall into each of the wounds on his chest and leg and by the time I have returned the bottle to my bag they have healed.

Thank you Albus.

I lower him into the bath and hear him moan, not in discomfort, but in relaxation. It's a beautiful sound.

I sit by his side and gently wash the blood from the side of his face and his forehead. The source of the bleeding turns out to be a two inch gash above his left temple. His eyes are closed and his expression is unreadable. I know better than to talk to him now. He needs to think, to distance himself from tonight's events if he is to retain any of his sanity. An analysis of them can wait till the morning. I continue to wash his body, massaging it softly with the wash cloth. I feel his muscles relax beneath my hands. I suppose we have an understanding that doesn't need words. I know he needs me and he knows I'll be here for him. Simple as that.

I had wondered months ago how much of this he could take. As time passed, he was called to more and more Death Eater engagements, now it's one every few weeks, and even though he doesn't always come back in such a state, he feared it would put a strain on our relationship. But I will always remain by him, ready to be anything he needs. A healer, a lover, a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to, accept and help him deal with his troubles, be they marking work or the stresses of the double life he's leading.

I take a dark blue bottle from my bag. It contains a potion, that I've invented, to repair broken bones internally. Two doses of that will fix his arm and ribs. I go into the other room to make sure his bed is made while the potion takes effect. When I return his eyes are open and a bit hazy but his smile is unpained.

'Thank you.' His voice is as it should be again and it sends a tingle up my spine.

'S'ok, lets get you into bed.'

I levitate him so he is standing in front of me again, dry him off and dress him in his nightshirt.

'I don't know what I'd do without you, angel,' he says as I lay him down and pull the covers up to his chest. 'Why do you love me?'

'What kind of question is that?'

'Answer me.'

'Severus, I...'

'I cause you so much heartache and misery that it seems disputable as to why you should love me. You didn't ask for this and I don't know how long I can keep doing this to you. Answer me, please.'

Now I know he's not being funny, he never says 'please' unless he is deadly serious but lacks the energy to create an effectively dramatic sentence, and even then he's only ever said it to me. He's still whispering but even that is powerful enough to extract a confession from me.

I sit on the bed and run my fingers over the velvet bed spread. 'You're right, I didn't ask for this, but neither did you so I don't blame you. I could never blame you. I love you because I know that it's what you lack. It's better than any medicine. You've lead a life with very little love, and it's the one thing you need more than anything else and I am ready and willing to give you everything you need. I loved you when we were studying at school and I love you now we're teaching in it. I love you because you haven't changed in the face of everything that has happened to you, you've retained your integrity, your honour, your discipline, your morality and everything that makes you, you.'

'You love me because I'm a selfish vindictive git?'

'I do.' I smile sadly and brush a few strands of hair away from his face. 'This can't go on Severus'.

'It has to.'

'For how long?' I fight to keep my voice calm. Shouting will do no good.

'Until it's over.'

'And when will that be? You can't keep living like this. You can't take it and I can't stand seeing you like this. I love you and I'll always be there for you but...' I turn my face away as tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

He takes my hand. 'Shhh, I know. I know it's hard but we have to keep going. We can't let him win. I have some information that will greatly help 'Dumbledore and the Ministry...'

'It's not that. I mean, there is that, but there's some thing else as well, and I don't...'

'What's the matter. Angel?'

'It's just that you've come home before, nearly dead and every time you go I can't help but think that I may never see you alive again, and, gods forbid, it may happen, and you won't see...' I turn away again.

'What is it?'

'I'm pregnant, Severus.'

Silence. I wait on tender hooks for his response.

To my relief he smiles. 'How far are you?'

'Eight weeks,' I say and place his hand over my stomach.

'If this is an evening for announcements, then I have one to make. Can you get the little velvet bag in the top draw?' He gestures to the bedside table. 'I was going to save this until it was all over,' he says as I hand him the bag, 'but I think that now is the right time.'

'Time for what?'

He sits up, leaning against the headboard. 'Angelita, I know things are tough at the moment, but we will get through it and when we do, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' He takes a ring from the bag. 'Marry me, Angelita.'

I'm stunned, elated, shocked and hysterical, all at once, but I know my answer.

'Yes.' He slips the ring on my finger. It's so beautiful, silver with one sparkling diamond surrounded by sapphires. It glitters in the firelight. 'Oh, Severus, it's stunning.'

'No more so than you my love.'

I lean forward, take his face in my hands and kiss him. His lips are soft and warm. I lose all track of time, the only thing worth anything in my world is him. Severus Snape. My fiancée. It feels so natural to think of him that way. His hand slides up my waist, over my shoulder to stroke my hair. Kissing that was slow and tender now takes a much more passionate turn. Everything I feel for him suddenly comes to the surface and I have to pull away.

'I'm sorry, you're in no fit state for any of that.'

He smiles. 'Your kisses take away the pain. Kiss me again.'

* * * * *

Some time later I find my self lying with Severus's head on my shoulder. I'm awake but he's sleeping peacefully. I'm resting my chin on his the top of his head and running my fingers through his freshly washed hair. My favourite pass time. His hand is resting on the slight curve of my stomach, on our baby.

My eyes moisten as I consider our situation. Tears once again begin to flow because no matter what anyone says I know in my heart that Severus may not be around to marry me or to see our child. Voldemort's come so very close to killing him before, and it could happen. I don't know what I'd do if it did. My life would just stop. I look down at him, his face is relaxed and innocent. I want to protect him more that ever now. I hold him in my arms and whisper some of my favourite lyrics, 'If I should die, this very moment, I wouldn't fear it. I've never known completeness like being here, wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you.'

I try to stop my shoulders shaking as I cry, I don't want to wake him.