Lost and Found

Chapter 18 - A Day for Visiting

There was a knock on the door at approximately ten am.

Hermione was surprised at the mystery man's earliness, but otherwise prepared. She did, despite Prott's assurances, keep her wand close at hand in a pocket. One never knew.

She opened the door quietly, not quite knowing what to expect.

It was, therefore, quite a surprise to see Remus Lupin standing outside her door, still splendidly decked out in his Hogwarts robes and looking very haggard indeed.

Hermione threw open the door in surprise and delight, embracing him immediately as though she hadn't just seen him the day before.

Lupin smiled down at her, gripping her back heartily.

"What- why did you-"

Her old teacher and friend pushed her away gently. "I'm afraid we didn't get much of a chance to talk yesterday, so I came by to do so. You didn't really think, after three years-"

"No, of course not!" she exclaimed happily, pulling him inside. "Sit down, I'll make some tea - well, for you, but I've already had more than my dose recently..."

Her chatter was something he was used to, even after three years of not hearing it, and she was grateful that he seemed to take her nervous mannerism in stride. Lupin was just familiar like that.

When she came back with a kettle heated up, he was already leaning back in the chair, smiling with a kind of contented expression she'd only rarely seen on his face. It always gave her pride a nice boost to know he could be that way so easily in her presence.

After pouring him a quick cup, which he sipped at, relaxed, she felt her smile return yet again. A few of the chess pieces pointed and whispered amongst themselves, and she knew they were wondering whether he could play or not. But Lupin was not her opponent - he would never be that. He was now, and would forever more be, her family.

"It's Christmas Eve tonight," he said quietly, surprising her, but not unpleasantly. Lupin's voice was calm and deep - it always quieted her mind's murmurs and made her feel at peace. "It's also the full moon," he added.

Something inside her clicked, then, and her mouth fell open. But he didn't expand on it in the way she had assumed.

"I'm just sorry I can't be here to spend Christmas with you," he told her with a sigh. "I miss these times so much lately..."

"But you'll have Christmas at Hogwarts!" she protested. "Why should you want to come here, of all places-"

"Because it's where I belong," he told her quietly. "More so than among the students and staff there. Here, I am welcomed - I have family and a kind of home, all in one place." Lupin smiled wanly at her, and she suddenly felt awful for ever keeping Sirius to herself, unintentional though it had been.

"Thank you," Hermione managed. "I- you're always welcome here. Always."

He leaned forward across the coffee table and clasped her hands in his, staring at her with an intense look. "Hermione, I have missed you quite a bit. I don't know what Dumbledore said to you, precisely, but I want you to stay in touch with me this time. If there is anything you need at all, tell me, and I will find it for you." He said it with such fierceness that she found herself taken aback, even as her heart warmed happily at the thought of having someone care for as her parents had.

"Then I want you to do the same thing," she told him quietly. "I've done some very stupid things in the past few years. I'm only just now beginning to realize just how stupid. I would love to have you, directly after Christmas if you want. We'll catch up - Prott would be happy to see you too, I know. He thinks you're a good influence on me, that you might have some nephew or other that you can marry me off to."

Lupin's face took on a strangely humored look. "Yes, well, perhaps when I'm feeling better. I'm not up to matchmaking recently. You can tell him that from me."

Hermione chuckled, and suddenly things began to fall into place - they were still a family, fractured and split and separated though they'd been. She hugged him again on impulse, and she knew without having to look that he was smiling again.

"Cheer up," he told her. "Dumbledore sent me a present for you. Said to open it immediately, because you'd need it tonight."

She blinked as he pulled away, pressing something small and fluffed into her hand. It was a package, wrapped in plain brown paper - it had the distinct feel of wrapped clothing.

Hermione pulled open the corner of the paper, knowing that Lupin was watching almost as curiously as she was opening it.

She couldn't help it - she laughed.

"Socks," she murmured to herself, passing a hand over her eyes and feeling the weight lift from her face. "I really should have expected..."

Nice, thick, gray, woolen socks.

She put them on immediately, to a snort from Lupin. "Yes indeed," he muttered. "Socks. The man is mad and brilliant all at once."

"Maybe they're magical," she said offhandedly, knowing even as she did so that it wasn't true. Dumbledore was just odd like that.

Hermione twisted her toes inside the snug wool, watching with a bemused expression as it shifted with them. Truly, these were the most comfortable socks she'd ever worn. She had to give that to him, at the least.

"I'll be expecting you up at Hogwarts soon," Lupin told her as he rose again, whisking the dishes clean absently with his wand. "I'm sure my class could use a few horror stories from the days of the blast-ended skrewts. To think, they're complaining about griffons..."

Hermione grinned. "I'd love to see how Malfoy's class would handle my hexing their teacher in the middle of the day. I still owe him one from that trick with the drink..." Her face became blissfully detached as she imagined the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher having the leg-locker curse put upon him, hopping around with a scowl in front of his students... "His defense always was shoddy," she added gleefully.

Lupin seemed to share her sentiments by the way his face lit up. "You know, I remember learning how to extend a color-changing spell into a duration of days..."

Few people knew that good old Professor Lupin was, in secret, a very dastardly prankster. Hermione did not enlighten many people of this fact, for the simple reason that his ideas were usually much more creative than her own.

A few hours later, having exhausted the subjects of pranks, tea, school curriculum, old Defense lessons, political blunders, and funny things Malfoy's class had had their boggart turn into, Hermione accidentally fell upon the subject of Prott's new scheme to get her hitched.

"He's sending some man up here today," she grumbled. "I must've been too tired to think coherently - I distinctly remember saying yes."

Lupin's reaction was not quite what she would have expected. Normally, he would have laughed off this recent development in Prott's insane plans, but today his face turned instantly serious. "He's trying to set you up with someone?" he asked. "I thought, from what Sirius was telling me-"

"That he was trying to set me up with him?" Hermione said with a laugh. "Oh, yes, I suppose he was. But you know how he goes from failed idea to failed idea..."

"So it was a failed idea after all?" Lupin asked with a thoughtful look. "I would've thought... but no. I suppose you're right."

Hermione found her interest piqued. "What are you holding back?" she demanded.

A slow smile spread over Lupin's face. "Nothing. It's just..."

"Just?" Her hand tightened on the couch's arm.

"Oh. It's just that old Padfoot seemed quite attached to you."

Hermione let her grip loosen with a frown. "You're wrong," she told him. "And I don't know why I'm even - even bringing this subject up with you." Oh damn. She was blushing. "He's not the kind of person to get attached in that way anyway."

Lupin looked ready to pursue the subject, but soon seemed to think better of it. "Yes. Yes, I suppose so," he murmured. "It's too bad, really."

And before she could ask him what this cryptic remark meant, he was getting ready to leave. "Remember, Hermione," he told her. "You'd better come visit - or Dumbledore will order Malfoy to drag you up to the castle. You know he would."

Hermione grinned wickedly. "You mean Malfoy would try." She fingered her wand with relish. "I have no compunctions about cursing Malfoy, if you're wondering."

Lupin shrugged. "I might have to reinforce him, then, if it comes to that."

She glared at him. "Hey! No fair, you were my teacher-"

He chuckled, stopping the mock argument before it could begin. "I'll see you, Hermione," he told her. "Do owl me once in a while, won't you?"

Lupin gave her one last healthy hug before leaving through her front door - and disappearing with a pop.

She was almost back to waiting anxiously for her visitor before-

Owl him?

But I don't have an owl!

Hermione shook her head. Lupin never misspoke. Perhaps he was expecting her to use the public post. But Diagon Alley was such a long way to go, just to use the post...

She moved to close the door with a frown.

.

.

.

.

.

Missing him was hard.

It started with shock, of course. Because she hadn't really been awake for it, had only been partially lucid. She remembered screams and shouts, blurring together into one mass of incoherent noise. Lights flashing - explosions and hisses and near misses... almost like a war.

But when she'd woken, they'd all been so somber that she knew, she knew something awful had happened.

"Who?" she'd croaked harshly.

Harry, in particular, had avoided her eyes.

"He- he fell through the veil," Neville said. "There wasn't- there was no time-" His face was red and splotchy, signs of crying. But those that grieved didn't cry so soon. Neville had just been exposed to death, not introduced to it and kissed by it as it took one of his dear friends.

"Who?" she repeated desperately, looking around at them, hoping beyond hope that she didn't know the person well, and feeling guilty even as she did so.

Lupin met her eyes with the calm that only a man in shock can maintain. "Sirius," he said quietly.

She swallowed, then tried to taste the idea. It didn't work. He wasn't dead. Sirius was not the kind to die, and so he wasn't dead.

"I'm sorry," Lupin said, but it was clear from his own expression that he had been hit very hard himself.

Hermione tried it again, tried to fit the end to the man. It didn't work.

It wouldn't work for months to come.

.

.

.

.

.

The events of the next few hours were really just a blur. The man Prott had been so apt to recommend came and went - he was a nice man, but he wasn't really anything special. Tea was had, talk was exchanged, and he was sent home, perhaps a bit discouraged. Daylight burned up at an alarming rate, and she lit the candles in the living room as the sun began to set.

The evening found Hermione relaxing in her chair and wondering how on earth she was supposed to cope with this utter boredom.

Sirius had infected her. That was the only explanation.

Before, she'd been quite happy (if you could call it that) in her little town. No big events, no nasty wizarding articles, no nosy people, no noise, no hustle to get somewhere, anywhere...

She sighed and looked over at the chess pieces, who were also looking just a bit groggy.

"Just fell asleep, just like that!" one muttered. "The indignity!"

Hermione stifled a smile. Ron couldn't possibly have afforded the best chess pieces, the ones that didn't need to recharge by deactivating once in a while. That had to be what had happened with these.

Her gaze drifted absently to the fire, and she remembered Sixth year about this time, when Dobby had led a group of house elves around the school, singing Christmas carols at the top of their squeaky voices. A little smile made its way to her face as she imagined his little pointed nose and proud stack of hats. Had she really been as awful with the whole S.P.E.W. thing as she remembered?

No. It had to be her memory playing tricks on her.

A knock at the door made her blink, taking her from her reverie. A little worm of irritation went through her - it wasn't too late, it was probably some of the local kids caroling, but she didn't really feel like getting up...

Another knock, more urgent, managed to stir her from her seat. It was Christmas Eve, after all, and there was no need to be rude.

Hermione opened the door with a smile, determined to greet whatever it was with some good old Christmas cheer.

Her smile fell into a gape as she took in the figure in the doorway.

"Why Hermione," Sirius said, looking quite disheveled and quite happy about it, "Fancy seeing you here."

And he kissed her.

She only had the time to slightly comprehend this new development before his hands clamped down on her shoulders, guiding her inside and against the wall to steady her. One of his hands was now in her hair, tangling wildly in it, while the other had slipped around her waist.

Part of her melted - the other part was still standing in the doorway, staring, and wondering what the hell he was doing here.

"And a Happy New Year," he murmured slyly against her lips.

She laughed, despite herself, and found that he'd closed the door quite deftly with his foot - he was now steering her toward the couch, hooking her leg with his. Hermione found herself in a new and quite interesting position as she was tripped gently onto the sofa, Sirius following rather quickly to hover just over her.

He seemed to be taking his time now, though - and as he stared down at her with hungry blue eyes, his thumb ran down her cheek and over her bottom lip. She twitched in surprise, but he didn't follow through with the action just yet.

"What-" she finally managed. "What on earth was that?"

Sirius grinned. "Christmas present."

She laughed happily. "You already gave me some of those! And an early Christmas kiss."

But he was leaning in toward her now, holding himself inches from her face. "So?"

Hermione was quickly finding it somewhat hard to think. "So... I... that is, I thought..."

His hand had slipped behind her neck now, and was rubbing lazy circles in the most delicious of places. "You thought?" he asked, eyes focused on her lips, which she found herself licking uneasily.

"I- yes, I thought you'd gone to stay with..."

Mm. That was nice.

She could feel his breath on her face now, and all pretense of thought was now fleeing before the simple knowledge that he was about to kiss her again.

"I think I can give you an advance on the next few Christmases, hmm?" he asked with a wide smile.

Hermione was really only able to blink at this.

He seemed to take this as a yes.

A slow, achy slide of mouths followed, and Sirius was now nibbling a trail down her neck. Something that sounded suspiciously like a moan escaped her mouth-

At which point, she came to her senses.

"How did you do it?" he whispered against her.

She felt the trembling in her body increase. "What?" she asked.

"How did you save me?" he asked again, one hand still massaging the back of her neck.

Hermione felt the knowledge inside her begin to hurt, and she swallowed, one hand moving surreptuously into a pocket...

Sirius had pulled back and stood above her, was staring at her in the strangest of ways... and she realized belatedly, unhappily, that he was twirling her wand in one hand.

"Clever girl," he whispered, blue eyes staring into hers.

Sirius didn't have blue eyes.