Hate You, Hate Me

~Chapter 6 - In This Silence~

I hate you, Hermione.

I knew that asking Granger out was a delicate process. I could easily do something to ruin any chance of her even looking at me again. She was already mad, after all. Granger had kicked me when I had fallen.

I really wished Blaise had given me more time. He wanted me to get her to walk around with me at Hogsmeade. We didn't have to be dating, she didn't have to be in love... but there had to be progress. I had only a few hours during the night to plan after Blaise left me.

Madame Pomfrey reluctantly let me out the next morning. I rushed up to my common room, hoping that Hermione... I mean Granger, hadn't left for breakfast yet. I caught her just in time.

"H-hey, Hermione," I said, hoping to sound casual... but I didn't.

"Yes?" she asked, staring at me with doubtful wide eyes.

"I have something for you."

I pulled a rose from behind my back. I had stolen it from the kid downstairs. I never did find out what was wrong with him.

"Oh," Hermione whispered as she laid her hands over mine to touch it. "Thank you."

I fought off the urge to fidget under her touch. It was so light, so pure. And here I was trying to play a trick on her. Not that it was really my idea... or that I even cared.

Her eyes held suspicions, but still she remained calm. Perhaps she wanted to believe me... wanted to believe I wasn't the pompous jerk she'd always thought of me as. And my job was to convince her.

"I thought maybe we could walk around together," I said. "At Hogsmeade, I mean. Get to know each other bet-"

Suddenly, into the common room exploded Weasley, panting severely.

"Hermione!" he shouted. "It's all some sort of trick!"

He was doubled up for a few minutes after he shouted this. Hermione and I looked at him, shocked... but for different reasons. How had he found out?

"Harry and I... we heard that Blaise Zabini... and Pansy Parkinson talking... about it," Weasley said.

He resumed his full height and glared at me ferociously.

"Burn in Hell, Malfoy!" Weasley screamed, whipping out his wand.

"Stop!" Hermione said from behind me.

Her voice held more anger than Weasley's, in a way that reminded me distinctly of McGonagall.

"Let me fight my own battles, Ron. I'm not your little sister. I don't need you to protect me," she said, a tremble just barely detectable in her strict voice. "Just wait outside."

Ron looked like she had slapped him in the face. He slowly lowered his wand and left without another word. I wasn't quite sure what happened, but I knew there was more than I understood going on here. I turned my head to see Granger wearing her angry McGonagall glare.

"You could never fool me."

Her hands were still on mine, but not for long. She pulled the rose out of my grasp, making sure it damaged my hand... and my pride. Granger dropped the rose onto the floor and ground it slowly into the carpet with her foot. Her eyes were on mine the entire time. Then she left, still not breaking the stare between us until Weasley obstructed her view to get a glare of his own in.

I hate how when I asked you out for a dare you saw right through me.

I waited until I was certain that they were gone before bending down and scooping up the damaged petals. I stood there staring at them for what seemed to be a long time. I then made my way to the recently repaired table and opened Hermione's copy of Hogwarts: a History. I sprinkled a few petals inside and closed the book. A second portion of the petals went into my pocket.

The ones left in my hand were delayed their placement for only a short time. Moving to the window, I saw a slew of students streaming out onto the grounds. Near the end of the pack were Potter, Weasley, and Granger looking ridiculous, their arms around each other. I turned the golden handle to open one side of the window and threw the contents of my right hand into the whirling wind.

The wind carried the petals directly in front of the trio. I wasn't sure if that was the reason Granger looked back to see me sitting in the window sill. She looked tremendously hurt and perhaps a bit confused. Granger was fighting back her emotions... just as I was.

Then, a wicked smile graced her lips, and I knew at once that she planned to get back at me. She halted, stopping the boys as well by grabbing onto the sleeves of their cloaks. They looked at her, bewildered, as she said something to them that I, of course, could not hear. When Granger was finished, she peered up at me before seizing Weasley's arm and dragging him away. Potter looked as mystified as I felt and stood there for a while before trudging off to Hogsmeade himself.

I slammed the window shut and hurried down the stairs and out the large oak doors. I knew I would have to rush to catch up with everyone else. I was determined to find out what Granger was planning, which, perhaps, was placing me directly in her trap. Part of me wanted to be in her trap. I deserved it.

I hate how you and Weasley went out that night just to make me mad.

For the first time in my life, I walked alone to Hogsmeade. And I mean... completely alone, because being with Crabbe and Goyle was like being alone. Funny, but that was the first time I truly thought about them since I had become Head Boy. I still had classes with them, of course, but they seemed to have moved on. I had a strange suspicion that they were Blaise's flunkies now.

The sky was dark gray by the time I reached Hogsmeade. I thought that it was going to rain again, but it never did. Pity, for I thought walking in the rain would be rather comforting at the moment.

Hogsmeade was not a large place, but it was filled with people. I didn't think it would be hard to find them, what with Weasley's red hair, but I actually saw Potter before I saw the other two. Very irritating.

I also saw Azura. She was sitting outside on a bench looking very lonely. I didn't want to walk past her, but the only unexplored territory lay beyond her bench.

"Are you feeling better?"

I cringed. She wanted to talk to me? I couldn't comprehend why. I had been an ass to her. Still, it might have proved an interesting conversation under different circumstances.

"No," I answered, coldly.

I waited for some sign that she had heard me. When I received none, I turned to glare at her. How dare she not answer me? Azura stood there just as she had yesterday. She didn't look at me, but I could see her lips slowly form the words, "I'm sorry."

My stomach clenched. She must have thought all this time that it was somehow her fault I had fallen. If anything, it was my own fault. Her part in the whole affair was not only tiny but also induced. I turned slowly, wanting to get away from her. She didn't let me, though. She walked behind me like a shadow, dark and silent. Finally, I stopped and turned back to her.

"It wasn't your fault!" I shouted.

Azura raised her eyes to mine, stunned. She seemed to be unable to speak, so I continued.

"Just leave me the fuck alone!"

I was standing behind her, because I had circled her twice in my anger. I almost turned to leave Hogsmeade, when I saw them. Granger and Weasley were but two buildings away from me. Azura turned to say something more, but I pushed past her, indifferent to whatever she had to say. Did I actually knock her over? I can honestly say that I didn't know.

But as suddenly as I had spotted Granger and Weasley, they were gone. It was then that I let myself give up. I sat down on the cold ground and sighed. Why was I going after them anyways? It wasn't like I really cared. I wouldn't care if they dropped dead at this very moment. I was a Malfoy, and there wasn't anyone that Malfoy's hated more than mudbloods and Weasleys. Except Potter.

But did I really want to be a Malfoy anymore? I suppose I had never really thought of it that way. The training I had suffered through over the summer was the worst I had ever been faced with. There was one night mother came to my room and held me like she had so many years ago. My father cursed at our weakness.

My father. Lucius Malfoy was a cold man. And I was turning into him, slowly but surely.

That had to stop.

The wind was harsh and taunting to me. Cold and yet warm at the same time. It smelled of fall, and the bitter scent of leaves. I wondered where Weasley and Granger had gotten off to. My stomach felt ill at the thought of them... talking, laughing. Maybe even more. That made my blood boil.

It was almost dark when I finally got up. I realized I was close to the shrieking shack. Usually, people never even think about getting too close. But I wasn't scared. What could a ghost do to you, anyway? They couldn't even touch you...

There was a girl standing just outside the fence. All I could see of her was long blonde hair. She wasn't facing me, and she was a bit too far away for me to make out her features. Somehow, she intrigued me. I wanted to know what she was doing up there. So, I climbed the slope leading to the old shack.

The girl seemed to be about my age. I didn't recognize her, but I figured she was from Hogwarts. She didn't seem to notice my presence at first. I stood there just staring at her. She was pretty, I suppose, but not earth shatteringly so or anything. And she wasn't beautiful... not like Hermione. I pushed the thought from my mind.

I was baffled. Why was she staring off into nothing like that? I leaned my back against the fence and sighed. Nothing out of the ordinary was present, but I was feeling an odd aura from this place.

"Ever get a feeling that something bad is going to happen?"

I jumped. She had said something! The girl hadn't moved a centimeter since I arrived, but she had noticed me.

"Uh, yeah... I guess," I said, caught off guard.

"I'm having that feeling," she said.

Suddenly, I felt extremely cold. I felt bad for the girl. She was only wearing a light cloak while I had opted for my winter one. I pulled my cloak more tightly around myself and stared at the sky.

"Yes," I said. "I am too."

I hate how you would later recall it as the worst day of your life.

I looked down from the sky and saw Hermione staring at me. She was illuminated in the moon, which was full tonight. I suddenly realized we should be heading back. In fact, we should have been back. We really should have.

Weasley was only a little ways behind her, but it was far enough.

Out of nowhere, my father appeared. Obviously, I was the only one who could see him there. What the Hell was he doing here? The scene of the older wizard approaching mesmerized me. Hermione was still staring at me. I wanted to warn her, but I could not find the words. Perhaps the blonde girl had seen him. I turned to find her gone.

"Hermione, watch out!"

The girl was running down the slope, pulling out her wand, as was Hermione. But it was too late. My father had done the damage he had come to do.

All was silent. A flash of green light consumed the area. When it faded, my father was nowhere to be found.

And Ron Weasley... was dead.