How Can I

How Can I

firedragon_luver

****************

It has been five years since I last stepped on Hogwarts grounds. After having proper training in being an Auror, I ended up being one of the best. Now that Voldemort is dead, I thought being an Auror will be an easy job for me, but then again I realized that Voldemort is not the only one terrorizing the wizarding world. Being one of the best means having a bigger responsibility, time always counts, every second means a life to be saved.

We are always on the go; we never stay put in one place for a long time, both because of work and for our own safety. That's why times like this, after a cruel mission, is always a luxury for me. It is very rare that I could go home, relax, and of course, do the things I love doing, that is, to pamper my lover. I have been a servant of so many as an Auror, but there is only one I will always readily submit myself to, and that is my long-time lover. I enjoy cooking food for us now that I have enough time to prepare a romantic meal. It excites me so much. I know he will be coming home today, but as I light the last candle for our romantic dinner, somebody floos me from the office, wanting me to report back because of some emergency. Whenever calls like this come up, I wonder so hard if this is the life I want. But then again, if there are no people like me to do the job, the wizarding world won't be a safe place to live in. With a sigh, I leave a note for my lover telling him I wont be long, and I apparate.

I am Harry Potter, an Auror. This is how my life has been. And I thank all the powerful beings looking down at me right now that, in spite of it all, my lover hasn't left me; my lover, my friend, and the only reason why I go on.

***

Since the day I left Hogwarts, I wasn't able to go back, even just to visit. Not that I don't want to go back, but time has not been my friend lately. After taking higher studies at potions, I received a letter from the Dragon Phoenix, the current leading Quidditch Team in England, saying they saw me play during the inter-college tournaments and are very much excited to sign me in. After reading the letter several times, I smirked, knowing what they would think if they only saw how my lover plays. After several discussions and pondering, I signed, and just months after I became the sought-after seeker, I am the best on the field.

Being in one of the best teams means greater expectations, so even if we don't have a game to play, we still train almost every day, both at the field and on the tactics. And once we do play, the tournaments are always outside England, making me away from home for at least a month. Though I could Apparate or floo over at home, even if the tournament is not yet finished, I just can't. The physical strain of flooing and Apparating could deter my play, thus opting always to wait till its over. So on days like this, when we are not really occupied, with no hectic schedules laid upon us, I excitedly go home, eager to be with my lover. It is not everyday that we can be together at such an early hour, but knowing how busy he is, I know I still have to wait for him.

I am Draco Malfoy, star seeker for Dragon Phoenix, and this is my life. Though I do not believe in all-powerful beings out there, I still thank them for making my lover stay with me, even though I don't have enough time to spend with him.

**********

The risk of being an auror is very much known to my lover and I. We have faced many dangers in our lives, so we really known what risks there are first-hand. But I cannot just let the people be defenseless against an enemy; I cannot just leave them knowing I could do something. But I forgot those words the moment I was put in such a deadly risks. I did not almost lose a part of my body, but I almost lost my life, something my lover will not have to know. The moment I open my eyes and see my lover sound asleep by my side, holding my hand, I start to think again. Maybe I should start rearranging my life and set my priorities. It is not that I am afraid to die, that is not what I fear; I am afraid to die without being able to do something special for the one I love. And from this moment, I make a decision: I will not leave being of service to the wizarding community. But after this, I cannot be an auror anymore.

When I am cleared to leave the hospital, I send an inquiry to my previous professors during my auror training. Yes, I will be a professor. I will train all would-be aurors, I will be open for any consultation or advise, but I cannot see myself out in the field. Well, not yet, not in the near future. As soon as I send the note to my previous school I apparate to the auror office at the ministry to personally hand my resignation. I know they don't want me to leave, but this is my decision, this is my life. I have already given so much of my life to the wizarding world since I have known magic, now it is time to give something for myself.

***********

I have known the danger in playing Quidditch; I have had a first-hand experience during my stay in school. Being a professional player, of course, is different: playing is much rougher, stakes are higher, and winning means having something for a living. It is very rare that my lover will go with me whenever I play. It's not that he never watched me, but to play outside England and to be away for one month is just too much. Again, not that I do not want him with me there is just this feeling in me that there is something I have to know. For now, I am contented and I trust my lover when he says that he is on leave.

Today is one of the biggest and most important finals; it is the Quidditch World Cup, and we will bag the cap if we will win this game. The screaming of the fans is so overwhelming as I race for the snitch with a very tight competition against France, whose seeker is a daredevil I should say. He is playing rough, and being a Slytherin, no way would I allow that, so I played rough myself, though not going over the rules. As I enclose the snitch in my hands, I feel a sudden pain in my ribs, and I am falling. I can hear the screams of fear, and then silence.

When I open my eyes, my lover is already at my side. It appears that he has saved me, once again. I get up and raise my hand showing the prized snitch, enjoying the roars of joy from the fans and spectators. But as I look at my lover, all I see is fear. I ask myself why, why can I bring joy to others and yet I bring fear to my lover. Then and there, I decided. A week after the championship, we have a meeting. I receive another contract and they are increasing my pay, but this time, I turn it down. This time I do not care about the money or the fame; this time I care about my lover and my life with him.

************

My love,

I want to confess something to you... I have resigned being an auror. Please don't be mad at me for not telling you at once. Remember when I went with you to the championship? I had already rendered my resignation then, and was only waiting for my papers from the auror training office. Yes, you have read right, I have been teaching for a month now, actually. Again, please do not hate me for not telling this to you. I just wanted to surprise you. And I know that I have surprised you, I only hope that I have surprised you for the better. I just had a little realization during one of my missions, and I found out that I have given so much of my life to others, and now I want to have another part of that life for myself.

We have been together for so long, we have our good and our bad times. Not being able to see each other as often as we should is really our most trying moment, and I am glad that we have surpassed it. I am glad that it was never a reason for us to part ways, because I will never know what I would do if you left me. I do not want you to leave me, so I am giving up being an auror, and this is my decision. All that we have been through, all the love you have given me, I know I do not deserve it and yet you shower it upon me.

Tell me, how can I ever thank you? Would it be enough for me to promise you... Would it be enough for me to promise you that my heart will belong to you forever?

I love you.

My love, will you marry me?

Forever yours,

Harry

*************

Love of my life,

You know very well that being a Quidditch player has given me more than what I have imagined. It has given me so much that I almost lost you. If you were not there during that match, would I still be here? Forgive me, love, for my shortcomings; forgive me for causing you pain. I have a secret to tell you, and again, I would like to ask for your forgiveness and I hope that you will give it to me. I have not renewed my contract. I cannot live another minute so far away from you, so I opted not to renew it anymore. There is a more important thing in my life than the prestige Quidditch had given me, and that is you. I have talked to Severus; I am going to Hogwarts to teach potions. It's about time that I use what I have learned. I want to teach, to stay closer to you. I may leave your side, but not for long, not like before. I want to be always near you and feel you. I hope these reasons will mean your forgiveness.

For five years, we were able to keep our relationship together, for so long, we were able to fight all the demons that would cause our break-up. I thank you for keeping up with me, for believing and trusting me. I do not know how I was able to survive the times being so far away from you. Maybe it is because you mean so much to me that made me carry on; nobody can ever surpass you. You are the most important gift that was ever given to me. I do not deserve such gift, yet you were given to me. And the miracle of it all is that you stayed.

How can I ever repay all this? How can I thank you? Will it be enough if I'll tell you that I will love you so true...that I will love you for eternity? Tell me, would it be enough?

I love you.

Will you be my husband, love?

Yours forever,

Draco

**************

Harry was in a break from his class when he received his lover's note. With trembling hands, he clutched the parchment near his heart and cried. He cried because he never thought that this moment would ever come. After telling his supervisor that he had to leave because of an emergency he hurriedly apparated back to their place.

Draco was waiting for his students to finish their potions work when the note came. His students looked up to him with wide eyes, because their potions master was wearing a very rare smile, or rather a wide grin, on his face, and announcing that classes were off, that they would all receive a passing grade for the day, and the 7-inch-long essay would be cut down to one then he disapparated.

************

Just like the first time that they had let each other know about their love, once again they met halfway, but this time they covered the distance in small strides and their arms wrapped around each other protectively, lips touching intimately. When they broke apart, they stared into each other's eyes with overwhelming love and whispered...

"Marry me," Harry proposed.

"Be my husband," Draco asked.

"Yes," was their only answer.

-fin-