A Shred of Truth

How much more self torture hurts

When done for someone you love

As you try desperately to gain control

You can't, and you hope you'll end up above

'Til you realize, Now isn't the time

You're staying on earth with the rest

And you come to know that your situation

Is good, just not the best

And average is okay

Was average really okay for the Boy who lived?

Harry wondered that to himself every day. He wondered why he hurt her for so long, dragging her on an imaginary chain, making her believe he didn't care about her. What was wrong with him? Now he had lost something he wanted-needed-so badly, and he had caused it himself.

Harry was in his fifth year. That was four years of telling her he wasn't interested. Four years of saying it was a silly schoolgirl crush...four years of going to bed every night wishing he had paid more attention to her. He loved her, and she loved him, but then why did he toy with her like that. It seemed he had a sick fascination with making other people unhappy. He never hurt himself, he never cried, but he messed with people's minds. That was his fun.

To teachers and fans, he was perfect Harry. He was always there to lend a hand; he was always willing to save the world yet again. To his two best friends, he was normal Harry. A good friend and listener who happened to save the world every year. That was okay though, because they were dragged along for the ride.

Harry had liked girls before, but it seemed that no girls were interested in him. It was his only shot of self-confidence that she gave him. Knowing that she would be there to love him, even though he was such an asshole to her, was a great boost. If only he knew not to judge a book by its cover.

If to lie, what for?

There is no use

But with a life like mine

I have nothing to lose

To pretend for something I once wanted

Is an easy lie to tell

And when there is a shred of truth

The lie will easily sell

Ginny was right, her lie did sell.

But she thought it had gone too far...when she had actually liked him, it was different. Now, though, she was surprised she managed to keep it up this long.

Before Ginny started her first year, her brother Ron had come to her with a proposition. She would pretend to like Harry Potter. Why? Easy answer there: Harry had little to no self-esteem. He thought he was ugly because girls weren't interested. So in comes Ginny...she would pretend to like him until he could find a girlfriend, then she would pass it off like she got over him since he wasn't available. Great plan, right? Well at first, it was. The boy with eyes as green as a fresh pickled toad had actually captured her heart for a little while. After her first year though, Ginny realized that Harry Potter was a two faced, manipulating, horny bastard. She never did recall how she came to like him.

After the night Hermione broke up with him, Harry had come to her for comfort, and Ginny, having to pull off the giggling schoolgirl crush, comforted him. She said all the right things, let him rant about how life had treated him wrong, and hugged him when he needed it. Then Harry had kissed her. Although she didn't like him, she automatically remembered Ron was paying her to pretend she was head over heels in love with this boy. Alright...suck it up and let go. She let Harry do what he wanted with her, and after he was done, she pretended to be giddy with excitement over what had happened. Truth be told, she was repulsed. How could she do that? She showered and scrubbed herself until her skin was raw, then she went on with life like nothing happened.

Harry couldn't believe it. Ron was going to kill him if he found out.

Harry had slept with Ginny. Harry had slept with Ron's sister. Harry loved Ginny, who happened to be his best friend's sister. He didn't know how it happened...one minute he was yelling about how he hated life and the next he was putting his pants back on. He couldn't help but notice, though, that she had been cold and indifferent throughout. Harry didn't bother with that thought, because he couldn't stop thinking about how she felt, not acted, that night.

Now that they had done what they had done, Harry decided it was time to stop dragging her along. He was going to tell her how he really felt, and since she liked him back, they would be together for real.

As much as Ginny ignored the reality of what happened, she still thought about it.

She hated him for doing that to her, knowing full well that she would let him because she "loved him so much". Oh well...now all was said and done and she couldn't go back and change things. But she could change the way things were now. Harry would pass her glances in the halls, play with her legs at lunch, and try to feel on her in the common room. She had to stop it because it sickened her that someone so horrible would have done that with her. So she decided it was time to come clean with him. She would tell him the truth.

"HARRY!" Ginny yelled across the great hall on her way in. Almost everyone stared at her. They all probably thought she was about to try openly declaring her love or something. Oh ye of little faith.

Harry turned around and saw her. He wondered what she had yelled his name for, so he got up and walked over to her.

"What's the problem, Gin?"

"I need to tell you something...but I don't think-"

"No, I think there is something I have to tell you right now"

"But, Harry really, you don't want me to say this now..."

"No Ginny, let me talk first ok? Then you can go ahead!"

Selfish bastard.

"Okay Harry...if that's how you want it to be."

By now everyone was staring in silence.

"Ginny...since my second year when I saw you laying there in the chamber, I loved you. I couldn't tell you because I thought if I had asked you out or something you would eventually stop liking me and your unconditional love was my only confidence. So I dragged you along, and it tore me up inside. So, on that night I had come to you because I wanted you to see how much pain I was in without you...Ginny Weasley, I love you."

Oohs and aahs could be heard from all over the great hall. Even the teachers were watching in rapt fascination. They could have made a great couple: Wonder boy and his best friend's sister. Yeah, great match.

"Well Harry, I'm touched, but I have a small confession to make. You see...I actually did like you my first year. Then, after the Chamber, I realized what you really are. Harry Potter you are a self centered, selfish, uncaring, horny ASSHOLE! And frankly, the only reason I pretended to like you was because I was being paid to keep your confidence up. So for these four years, I let you have your sick fun and mess with my mind...but now I don't want any part in it anymore because after that night I don't want to have ANYTHING to do with you. And I know I may seem mean and I'm ruining your fun love speech, but I won't lie and say I love you when I don't. I wont ever I don think."

And that was that. The Boy-who-lived was turned down by his best friend's sister. Catcalls came from all corners of the auditoriums. Harry was being ridiculed by people he didn't even care about. The one person he did care about had thrown his heart on the ground and driven over it with a steamroller. And to think he felt sorry for hurting her.

Ginny felt great about herself. She couldn't describe the feeling of exhilaration she got when she turned him down.

Now she could focus on important things without a green eyed monster staring at her.

Now she could worry about other love interests.

I wonder if Draco Malfoy has a girlfriend.