Welcome to my Nightmare

Welcome to my Nightmare

He was afraid. Fear didn't come naturally to him, always the brave one, the strong one, but he was afraid.

As he stood outside the door of their modest London home, he looked up at the moon. It was shining brightly, its near-full beauty lighting up the sky. Sirius shuddered at the sight of it. He tried to stop the fear, tried to quell the gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, the dreadful feeling which told him to flee. It was hopless, though. He knew he couldn't avoid it, couldn't run from his fears, just as much as he couldn't escape from the thing of his nightmares which was laying in wait behind the shabby façade of their house.

Sirius tried to slow his frantic breathing, and repress the frightened shudders which were threatening to take hold of him. His muscles were tensed to flee, to run away, far away... but he commanded himself to say.

He wasn't weak, after all.

He was the strong one, he always had been. However, even in his own head, those words sounded fake. A fool's reassurance.

He was weak. He was the weak one.

Compared to his mate, he was insignificant, and it had always been like that. The nights around the full moon were the worst of course, but he couldn't kid himself. He never had the dominance.

Sirius shook himself out of his thoughts. Run, one part of his mind screamed. Run, escape him, run now! But he couldn't. He couldn't run away from it: he had to face his fear. If he ran, it would only make things far worse for him. He'd tried it before, of course, and he still had the scars and the painful memories to prove it. No, there was no escaping. He would have to face the Wolf, face his fear, face his nightmare.

With a trembling hand, he opened the front door.

"Remus? I'm home."

To his own ears, the voice sounded weak, feeble, and he grimaced. He waited, straining his ears for any sound, but there was none. There was no answer. Run, screamed his mind. Run while you have the chance. And for once, Sirius considered it. He turned and grabbed the door handle.

"Sirius?" He froze. Panic gripped him like a cold shard of ice being driven though his heart. Run! Run now! "Sirius, come here. I have a present for you. Come here, boy."

The voice was a harsh; a rough, vindictive growl which was tinged with the slightest Irish lilt. It was so unlike his Mate's usual voice, it made him shudder. It came from the living room, barely 10 paces away from where he stood. Face your fears. Shaking with trepidation, Sirius shut the front door with a click which seemed to have some sense of finality, and made his way to the living room door. It swung open with an ominous creak as he pushed it. Once again, Sirius froze. He stood, trembling on the threshold, staring inward.

"Hello, Lover." Remus Lupin's face split into a malicious sneer and his amber eyes glinted in the firelight as he raised his wand. "Crucio!"