Tear In Your Hand

Tear In Your Hand

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There you are. I knew I'd end up seeing you at some point. Marietta must sense something's up, because she just mumbled something under her balaclava. If it weren't for that bitch in there with you she wouldn't have to wear that stupid thing. I don't know where she got it at. I should have never made her go to those damn DA meetings. She was only going because of me, and I was only going because of you. Now my best friend is disfigured for nothing, thanks to your precious Hermione. Way to go Cho. I thought that the end of last year was worst my life could ever get, but now I seem to have sunk even lower. I've lost out on love twice in two years. It's like some kind of cosmic joke that god has decided to play on me. The difference is that Cedric loved me until the end, his life taken from him too soon. That was the only reason our love was defeated. With you, it's a different story. Did you ever even love me? I thought you did. Why did you stop? What changed between us? At first I out all the blame on Hermione, but I know now that it takes two to be a couple. Was I some kind of warm up for you? Did you just use me to make Hermione jealous? Did you ever really care about me?

Sometimes I even blame Cedric for all of this. I know that makes me a horrible person, and I know I should never think such a thing, but why couldn't he have just let Harry take the damn Triwizard cup? I'm still not really clear on what all happened in that maze, and I don't want to believe that Voldemort is back any more than anyone else, but why couldn't he have been the one to have gotten out alive? I felt like he had abandoned me on purpose. If he really loved me, why did he leave me? Instead, you were the one who made it out. You should have never even been in the tournament! You weren't old enough and, supposedly, you didn't even put your name in the goblet! You made it out, clutching Cedric's body to your side. You were the last person to be with Cedric when he died. I imagined him telling you to tell me how much he loved me, and that even death could never stop how he felt. I needed something to draw closure to all of it. You said that Cedric didn't have a chance to say anything. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Now you won't say anything to me either. Why do I keep losing the people I love?

All the world just stopped now

so you say you don't

wanna stay together any more

let me take a deep breath babe

if you need me

me and Neil'll be

hanging out with the Dream King

Neil says hi by the way

This year seemed to start off ok. The first time I saw you were even kind of funny. You were sitting with Neville, Luna, and Ginny. You were covered in stinksap for some reason. I didn't stick around to talk to you, since I could tell you were embarrassed. I wanted to talk to you alone anyway. I guess I should have talked to you anyway, at least she wasn't there. I bet she loved it last year when people thought the two of you were a couple. At the time I didn't care because I had Cedric. You were my backup plan. I should have realized she had her claws in you even then. You were too noble to notice. Too stupid more like. She had you wrapped around her finger, and you never even knew.

Why couldn't she take up with Ron? He's not as good looking as you, but he's obviously got feelings for her. And what about that Bulgarian guy from last year? He wasn't that good looking either, but he's almost as famous as you are, and I know Hermione loves that. Why did she have to have you? You kept telling people that the two of you were just friends, and some people even bought it, but I didn't. You really are just a fifteen year old male, aren't you? Boys and girls become "friends" when they grow up. At fifteen you just want to have a legs up, not a "friend." Maybe you really didn't know what she was doing. You're the most popular boy at Hogwarts, you're handsome, sensitive, intelligent, and everyone knows you've got half the money in Gringotts. Why do you think you haven't had girls lined up to be with you? It's because of her! I thought you might have a chance with Parvati when you took her to the Yule Ball. She was really beautiful, and her sister had told me that she was going to try and get together with you. Any normal man would have jumped at the chance to be with her, but not you. You managed to spend time with Hermione, even though she wasn't your date. I saw Parvati get up and leave you, choosing to seduce one of the French boys instead. Hermione had gotten her way, as usual.

I don't believe you're leaving cause

me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream

I think it's that girl

and I think they're

pieces of me

you've never seen

maybe she's just

pieces of me

you've never seen

well

I thought seeing you in the DA meetings would be a chance for us to spend time together. I couldn't have given a damn about Umbridge, she didn't bother any of us Ravenclaws. Having all the other people there seemed to make things easier too. At least if I couldn't get you away from Hermione, there would be plenty of others there to distract you as well. I was even jealous of Luna, because of how much time she spent with you. Hermione must not have been as intimidated by her. She didn't seem to mind her nearly as much as she did me.

My big chance came after the DA meeting before Christmas break. I waited around until Ron and Hermione had left and managed to get rid of Marietta. I wanted to talk to you about Cedric. I'd wanted to talk to you about him all year. I remember that I couldn't stop crying. It must have been awkward for you to be with me, but you listened and you cared. We were under the mistletoe, but it didn't need to be there for me. I'd wanted to kiss you for months. I wanted to feel warmth inside me again. I hadn't felt warm since Cedric had died. I didn't need you to propose marriage to me or anything; I just needed to hear you say you loved me. You wouldn't have even had to mean it. I wanted to be loved again, and I wanted you to be the one to do it. Instead, you went right back to her. How did she react when you told her? Did she tell you that she knew what I was feeling? How I was so fragile? I bet she left you thinking it was all a big mistake. I bet she was hurt though, or at least I hope she was. I hope the image of you and I together kept her awake all night. I hope she thought she'd lost you, thought that she had missed her chance. It would have served her right.

all the world is all I am

the black of the blackest ocean and that

tear in your hand

all the world is

danglin'

danglin'

danglin'

for me darlin'

you don't know the power that you have

with that

tear in your hand

tear in your hand

I had looked forward to our date on Valentine's Day. It would be just you and me, all day. I had you all to myself at last. We were awkward with each other at first; I knew you didn't have much experience with dating. Maybe you hadn't even been on a date before. Again, I blame Hermione for that. Maybe we shouldn't have gone to Madame Puddifoot's. I just felt so secure there; it was so familiar to me. Cedric and I had been there several times. I thought we could really talk there. You still couldn't talk about Cedric. I was only looking for closure; closure for both of us, but you couldn't even give me that. Not to me anyway. You could talk to Hermione. You could always talk to her. She wouldn't even let you spend the whole day with me! You said you had to meet her, but that I could come along, "if I wanted to." Couldn't you see what she was doing? I wanted to be the one with you, to be with you in every way, like I was with Cedric. Instead, you went to Hermione. Do you even know what you passed up? She could never give you what I could, and would, have. Did you both have a good laugh about it? Did she reward you for doing as you were told? Maybe she even let you hold her hand, or gave you a kiss on the cheek like she gave you and the station last year? I saw that. That's when I realized how she really felt about you. She didn't kiss Ron, just you. Just you.

And then there was what happened with Marietta. I know she shouldn't have told Umbridge about the meetings, but she was scared. Marietta's family is very involved with the Ministry, and if it got found out that she was participating in illegal activities at school, it would have affected all of them. She had to say something. And then, when she had, her face got covered with boils, and she can't even talk. She couldn't understand what happened, but I knew right away. It was yet another evil game of Hermione's. I bet she was disappointed that it wasn't me that told.

maybe I ain't used to maybes

smashing in a cold room

cutting my hands up

every time I touch you

maybe maybe it's time

to wave goodbye now

time to wave goodbye

now

caught a ride with the moon

I know I know you well

well

better than I used to

The last time we talked, you sounded so angry. You didn't even care about what happened to Marietta. I wanted you to understand why she did what she did. I didn't expect you to forgive her, but I wanted you to stop blaming me. And then you got angry with me, and then I got angry back and let it slip about how I feel about Hermione. That's when you made me realize I never had a chance with you, that nobody would as long as she was in your life. You became so cold, so distant. I ran from you, crying. You didn't even call after me, and you didn't even apologize. You had meant what you said and didn't care about how much you had hurt me. You had driven me away, just like she wanted all along.

Marietta and I are sitting in our own compartment now. She's given up trying to talk to me and is looking out the window. All I can think of is how this all went so horribly wrong. I know you had cared about me, and I know that I cared about you, so why couldn't we be together? The answer was staring me in the face. I saw all I needed to just now. It was all there in your compartment, and you don't even know it. There you all were. I feel bad for Ginny. She's been in love with you since she got to Hogwarts, and she'll never have you either. Then there's that idiot, Ron. He's been running around after Hermione ever since the Yule Ball and he'll never have her. And then I saw you. I wanted to run in and make you listen to me, make you understand how I really feel about you, make you see that I can love you the way you deserve, confront Hermione about how she's been treating you for a fool. But I didn't. I looked directly at her and saw her face. She had a triumphant grin on her face. She had won, and she knew it. She'll never let anyone get close to you Harry, never. I could tell you a million times, but you'd never believe me. It hurts so much for things to end like this, but there's nothing more I can do. Take care of yourself, Harry; I'll always love you.

haze

all clouded up my mind

in the daze of the why

it never could've been

so you say and I say

you know you're full of wish

and your

"baby baby baby babies"

I tell you they're

pieces of me you've never seen

maybe she's just

pieces of me you've never seen

well