Deadly Obsession

Deadly Obsession

As I walk through the quiet corridors of Hogwarts, I swing my arms from side to side. Normally, I stuff them into my cloak's pockets. Today, I feel like walking freely. Why? I have no idea. I guess it is because I finally figured out what is wrong with me - I'm obsessed with someone. But oh, no - not just anyone. I'm obsessed with the most famous student at Hogwarts. The one I've envied and hated for years since we first came here.

Harry James Potter. The Boy Who Lived.

Of course I can never let him know this. I am a Malfoy, after all. And we Malfoys don't express our feelings. He's my secret obsession. When I'm around him and others, I make it seem as though I hate his bloody ass. However, whenever I am alone, all I can think about - all I can dream about and feel is him.

Bloody Potter. How can he do this to me? I want Potter desperately. I wish I could hold him in my arms, kiss him, touch his messy jet-black hair, gaze adoringly into those bright emerald eyes, and rip off his clothes and shag the hell out of him until it hurts him. But all I can do is just dream about doing those things.

I would never let Harry know how I really feel about him because of my father. You see, my father is a Death Eater - works for the evil Lord Voldemort who made Harry famous when he murdered Harry's parents as a baby but couldn't kill Harry. My father is a very strict man. He's evil - I can see it in his eyes. I don't want to be him, but I know one day I'll have to because he pressures me so hard to become a Death Eater. Harry is Voldemort's mortal enemy, and Harry is the only one who can destroy him (I was actually spying on him when Professor Dumbledore told Harry about the prophecy...so I know, but he doesn't know that I know). If my father found out I was in love with Harry, he would kill me...even worse if we were in a relationship. My father would hardly be able to stand the fact that, let alone, I am gay.

So therefore, I cannot tell Harry. I cannot let him know.

But oh, how I want him so badly - I need him. Harry is the only person that is keeping me going on with this ruddy life. Without him around, I could commit suicide. There is nothing else that matters to me in life but Harry Potter.

I first realized that I started feeling for Harry when I gave him the shock of his life during a Quidditch match in sixth year. I knocked him off his broom and sent him falling to the ground. He crumbled onto the ground and fell unconscious. Instead of grinning and making jokes like I normally did with the other Slytherins, I was worried and ashamed at myself for what I had done. I thought I had killed him. So I zoomed down to him on my broom, and tried to see if he was okay, but they were already putting him onto a medical bed and rushing him to the Hospital Wing.

Madam Hooch had canceled the game then, and I hurried away off the Quidditch field, brushing past the rest of my teammates, and into the castle. I ran right down to the Hospital Wing, breathing heavily when I entered the room.

I watched Harry being lifted off the medical bed and into a hospital bed. Madam Pomfrey had stopped caring for a boy who'd messed up in Potions class and rushed over to Harry - so did I.

"Mr. Malfoy, please step aside," Madam Pomfrey had told me. She asked the house elves who had brought Harry in what happened. Madam Pomfrey listened with rapid attention, and when they told her that I had knocked him off, she gave me a sharp, cold stare.

Madam Pomfrey got right to work, brewing potions together to form a drink she said would make Harry conscious again. I slowly walked up to Madam Pomfrey as she was brewing the mixtures together. I knew what I had to do.

"Madam Pomfrey?" I asked quietly. She stopped stirring and looked at me.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy? I thought I told you to leave...you've done quite enough to poor Mr. Potter now and - "

I cut her off. "Yes, I know that and I was just wondering if I could stay with Harry...erm...Potter for a bit."

She eyed me, knowing of our rivalry. "Whatever for?"

I sighed. "Just to...you know...apologize."

Madam Pomfrey bit her lip and thought. "Well, he won't be able to hear a word you tell him..."

I nodded quickly. "Yes, I know...but I still want to."

She sighed and thought some more. "Well, alright...I suppose. And I'm sure you'll want a bit of privacy so let me give him the drink and then I'll leave so you can...talk to him."

I nodded. "That would be fine, thank you."

After she finished making the potion, Madam Pomfrey walked back over to the bed and I watched as she tried forcing the liquid down Harry's throat. I held my breath as she did, worried that she might end up choking him or something.

Madam Pomfrey then left once the liquid was in Harry's stomach. I was alone in the room with Harry. The boy who had gotten one of Snape's potions all over him was well enough to leave and Pomfrey had chucked him out as soon thereafter.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. I gazed at him - suddenly wondering why I had ever hated him so much. He just looked so helpless, sad, and alone lying there. Kind of how I was. Helpless, sad, and alone.

"Potter...Harry..." I started softly. I started trembling. Never realized how hard this would be for me. "I'm...so...sorry...for...for...everything." I had spoken barely louder than a whisper, I wasn't even sure I heard myself speak. Tears formed into my eyes. I kept trying to tell myself silently that Malfoys never cried, so I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

He was just suddenly so beautiful - looked almost like an angel. And that's when I touched him. I took his scraped hand and held it firmly but gently into my own hands. His skin was very soft and shiny and warm. It felt good against my own rough, cold hands.

And that's when I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. Yes, I did kiss him - I did the most unthinkable. I bent down and kissed him on the lips. Like his hands, they felt soft and warm. His bottom lip had been cut and it was still bleeding, but I didn't mind the taste of his blood. It actually felt soothing.

The kiss was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. I cannot even describe how it felt...just too surreal and unbelievable. It was like magic that you couldn't make happen from using a wand.

As I was kissing him, Harry awoke. The potion had worked a little faster than I had hoped it would. I quickly pulled away from the kiss and we stared at each other in total silence for what seemed like an eternity, but really only a few minutes.

Harry had been the one to break the silence. "Malfoy?" he whispered, obviously in shock. "Did you just...kiss me?"

I started trembling again and glared at him, not knowing what else to do. I felt numb all over. He knew...Harry knew...I kept repeating inside my head. So when I finally got energy in my legs back, I stood up sharply and fled the Hospital Wing in a stricken panic. I didn't even look back at him or speak to him.

So Harry knows that I kissed him - but he doesn't know why. And I don't want him to know why. I can't let him know why. It could be the end for the both of us. I can't let him know how I truly feel. After all, I'm a Malfoy - and we Malfoys don't express our feelings. Not ever.

He will never know that I love him.

~~FIN~~