Love Creates Rebels

Love Creates Rebels

Harry,
I blame it entirely on you.

Before I taught you to know, my life was clear, fixed and ready. Everything in my life was as it was supposed to be.

I would come to Hogwarts, become a Slytherin, become a prefect, and then I would graduate.

And then I would marry another pureblood, rich Slytherin - in my case it was Draco Malfoy - my parents had chosen for me when I was around 14 years old. Just like all other rich, pureblood Slytherin lives.

Around the same time as I married him, I would secretly help Millicent with running away so she could marry the person she loved. I thought about doing the same, but every time I would convince myself that it was Millicent who was the rebel, not me; that everything, somehow, would be fine.

Deep, deep inside I wouldn't believe myself.

When I then had married him he would earn the money and I would spend it. I would sit home and paint some ugly paintings, I would make parties, I would go out shopping with my 'friends' - other married, rich, pureblood Slytherins -, or I would just sit home and make nothing.

He would work the whole day.

When I then was around 20, I would give birth to our only child - a pale, little boy - who would be Draco's heir. He would probably be named after Draco's father.

And then I would continue with my boring live.

Would I see my son? No, a young, female nurse would take care of him.
When she had time, that was.

And she would have time when she didn't take care of Draco.

Yes, he would have several mistresses. And I would know it. Maybe one of them - probably more, now I think about it - would be one of my so-called 'friends'. I would hate them all and feel jealous, even though I probably also had several lovers. I would fight with Draco every day. I would yell and smash things. He would look tired on me, shook his head and then go to visit one of his mistresses. Then I would begin to use intrigues to hurt him. He would do the same to me. And we would both go miserable to bed, which we, by the way, had two of because I didn't want to sleep with him anymore.

And in the darkness of the night, I would cry myself to sleep.

And when my son, whom I didn't really know, is around 14 Draco and I would look at the rich, pureblood Slytherin families so we could find a wife to him. So they could life the same unhappy life as we did.

Then, when I am around 40, I would look at how money we have. And I would make a conclusion: We had enough money to the rest of my life. Yes, Harry, my life. And then, unfortunately - or should I say fortunately? My husband would make suicide. And nobody, nobody, would talk high about the suspicion about my involvement in his 'suicide'.

Nobody.

Would I be happy, then?

No. I would be lonely

My 'friend' would be annoying, irritating and stupid while they talked about their beloved husbands. I would share my bed with young, handsome men, who were ready to call me "beautiful" when I gave them enough money.
But I wouldn't feel love. Because nobody would love me.

My son would life the same miserable life and his wife would come and talk with me about it.

Would I say that I understood her?

Would I say that she should get a divorce?

Would I say that I was sorry she had an unhappy life?

No.

I would say, she didn't deserve my son.

I would say, that she should pull herself together.

And then I would die. Alone. Lonely.

As a rich, pureblood, good Slytherin. Alone. I had accepted that. I had even planned how Draco should commit suicide.

Everything was ready.

But then I ran into you. And you changed everything. I believe in myself now. There is another life out there for me than that one my parents told me about.
A life with you.

I hope you are ready.

I am.

I can't wait to see you.

I can't wait to be with you.

I can't wait to say yes to you.

I love you,
Pansy