The Last Few Words

The Last Few Words by Erika Skyfire

Chapter 2~

Lily sat on her bed with her friend Kira, attempting to read a book and speak at the same time. They had closed the curtains, preferring privacy to anything else.

"You know, I wondered about that. You would think that I would be placed in Ravenclaw with a surname like Ravenstar, right?" Kira was saying. Lily grinned and shook her head.

"No, darling, you just aren't smart enough like moi." Lily pressed her hand to her chest and fluttered her eyelashes importantly. Kira cracked up laughing.

"You only say that because you're brilliant at Charms. Haven't you heard those horrid Slytherin girls called you a 'teachers pet'? Like Professor Flitwick would show favoritism like that horrid Potion's Professor. I never understood what made those Slytherin's so good at Potions to continually make them professors. Mum says that the professor before Professor Spidwick was a Slytherin too! We're just cursed to have associations with the horrid things," Kira said in disgust.

"Well, I can't help it if I'm good at something, can I? And you know I don't give a second thought to what those Slytherin girls think. Like they'd know much, prancing around talking about things that normal people wouldn't think as important," Lily replied calmly, looking back down at her book.

Kira brushed back her brown hair impatiently, tying it up into a ponytail. She thought about something for a moment before biting her lip and grinning slyly. Lily glanced up and saw the look, frowning.

"Now, do I want to know what you're planning?" she asked, and Kira replied innocently, "What, me? Planning something? What ever gave you that impression?"

"Don't think you can hide it, your gorgeous baby blue eyes tell all, darling." Lily smiled at Kira's pout.

"I was just thinking of how nice James has been looking lately."

Lily raised her eyebrows, looking rather quizzical before saying, "What are you implying?"

Kira grinned, her eyes sparkling with delight. "I'd think you would have noticed. Especially after the way you keep glancing at him in class, offering to let him borrow your notes... shame he even has to come to class, he could get you to do all of his work..." her voice trailed off. Lily glared.

"Kira, dearest. Shut up."

Kira laughed and tugged on a stray hair of Lily's, the latter trying to go back to reading.

"Don't think you can ignore me, love. It's nearly time for dinner, do you really think you'll be able to the whole way down?" Kira asked cheerfully. Lily nodded, ignoring Kira as she undid the ponytail that held her hair out of her face and began to part it into two halves. She smiled inwardly, hiding it in her book, not wanting to admit that Kira was slowly bringing down her resolve. Kira began to do twin French braids and said, "You can't deny it, Lily. Not that I can blame you. He's terribly cute. I just can't help teasing my best friend about her crushes though."

At this, Lily spoke up, "Crush? Lily Evans doesn't crush on anyone. She's perfectly immune to such things."

Kira laughed again, "Lily Evans needs to realize she's every bit as human as Kira Ravenstar or James Potter. I know I have had a crush, and who knows about James. Being as popular as he is, it doesn't seem practical, does it? But I have a feeling everyone has a crush at some point in their lives."

Lily sighed as Kira finished one side of the French braids. Looking down at her nails self-consciously, she nodded.

"Fine, I'll admit I have a small fancy for him, alright? I don't want this getting out though. Those Hufflepuff girls would be gossiping about it for weeks, and I do not want to somehow turn into Mary Jane and faint every time he looks at me in those blasted rumors. Positively no backbone in those girls, I swear..." her voice trailed off.

Kira smiled and nodded understandingly. "Don't worry, dear, I'm not about to tell anyone. What kind of friend would I be to ruin confidences? Doubly so, since I'm your best friend."

~*~*~*~

I wasn't really worried about Kira telling anyone. It wasn't as though she would have done it, even if I hadn't admitted it. It's silly of me to write this when I'm married to him, but somehow that conversation stays very high in my mind. I know it's not very significant, at least not yet, but admitting that I, Lily Evans, had feelings, such a frightening prospect, for James Potter, was a high accomplishment. Also since I, to this day, have not said I 'liked' anyone else.

Nothing really terrible happened until Halloween.

~*~*~*~

"Lily Autumn Evans, if you do not get out of bed, I swear I'll have to resort to drastic measures!" Kira shrieked at Lily through the hangings of her four-poster bed. Lily just groaned and could be heard shuffling, trying to go back to sleep.

"Alright, that's it."

The next thing Lily knew, she was on the floor with water dumped all over her. She yelped and jumped up, sopping wet and shivering.

"What did you do that for?" She demanded angrily to Kira.

"Why do you think? You have twenty minutes to get ready." With those words, Kira marched out of the door and skipped lightly down the steps. Lily groaned and ran into the bathroom for a quick shower.

After she was done, she went downstairs to meet Kira and they headed to the Great Hall together. Laughing and smiling would only come at this part of the day for Lily, for when she had breakfast, the Post came and a small memo was delivered to her.

Miss Evans,

Please meet me after breakfast in the Entrance hall.

Albus Dumbledore

Lily glanced up at the high table towards Dumbledore. He was looking back at her, with an unusually grave expression. She frowned and showed the note to Kira, who shrugged.

"It must be important, usually he doesn't pick us out so much, right?"

Lily sighed. She had a bad feeling about this, so when breakfast had nearly ended, she muttered a 'see you later' to Kira and headed out of the Great Hall. Unfortunately, in not paying attention, she managed to run headlong into James Potter.

"Oh, in Merlin's name, I'm so sorry..." Lily jumped into full-apology mode, fighting the urge to smile, "I'm a bit out of it right now, I'm terribly sorry..."

James just smiled and shook his head, "Quite alright, I'm fine. See? Don't fuss. Something the matter?" He addressed her jumpy mood. She shook her head, replying with, "No, nothing... yet."

James arched an eyebrow quizzically, shrugged and nodded.

"I better go, and sorry again!" Lily took off without a backward glance. Apprehension clouded her mind and she rushed to finding Dumbledore. He was waiting for her, looking somehow older then usual because, she suddenly realized, the twinkling in his eyes was gone. Lily frowned.

"What is it?" she asked quietly.

"Please follow me, Miss Evans."

She followed Dumbledore, down a hall, up a staircase, until they reached a gargoyle that prompted jumped out of the way when Dumbledore spoke the password. Climbing more steps into his office, Lily sat down when invited to. Dumbledore seemed to gauge her level of preparation before speaking.

"There has been an unfortunate accident."

~*~*~*~

I was shocked, needless to say. My parents had died in a train accident, the compartment derailed and flipped onto its side. My mother was found in critical condition, going through extensive surgeries while attempting to stop her inner bleeding. My father was found a little while after her, on his side, with a broken neck. I remember sitting in Dumbledore's office very vividly, my eyes filling with tears as fear flooded my veins. I remember slowly leaning over onto the arm of the chair, too weak to try and stay up, just feeling terrible as every emotion of grief passed through me. Eventually Dumbledore stood, patted my arm sympathetically and helped me up. He somehow knew that was better to do then attempt to comfort me, by leading me to the Tower where he sat me on a couch and quietly left me to my grief.

My whole body felt numb. I didn't register anything; not even the house elf that came to tend to the fire when it was growing dark. A few people dashed in and out, grabbing forgotten books from hidden corners, but they didn't notice me. I barely noticed them. My eyes were lost in the entrancing dance of the fire. I eventually lay on my side, completely apathetic to the world around me. Tears hadn't even begun to start, the prickling feeling in Dumbledore's office minor in comparison.

~*~*~*~

"Have you seen Lily? She's been..." Lily heard Kira's voice trail off as she felt her gaze land on her. They had just come in through the portrait hole, one of the first people to arrive from the day's last lesson.

"Oh Merlin... Lily...!" Kira was over in an instant, along with her companions, which turned out to be James and his friend Remus Lupin. Lily didn't notice this, her emerald eyes usually lit with a passion for life deadened that only reflected the fire in front of her. Kira ignored this, beginning to feel panicked for her unusually apathetic friend. She lifted Lily up from the couch and wrapped her arms around her, whispering, "What happened?"

At this Lily began to choke, tears flooding her eyes, unable to answer for a moment as grief washed through her once again. She was numb earlier, prolonging the feeling as long as possible. She eventually tried her voice, which came out as a croaky whisper, "They're dead..."

Kira gasped. James and Remus looked mixed between concern and sympathy, but didn't have much time to think about it as Kira picked her friend up and carried her from the room. Lily just sobbed into Kira's shoulder. She didn't care about what people thought; she was swimming in the Pool of Grief filled with bloody tears. Kira fervently hoped that Lily wouldn't drown in it.

~*~*~*~

My hand stops. I wrap my arms around myself, feeling unexplainably cold. I feel I need a break, even if this outpour of emotion is strangely satisfying. I turn to see James asleep on the couch. I stand and walk over to Harry, who seems to be getting tired and cranky. I pick him up and as I cuddle him close, I feel his warmth and love wash over me. I smile, kissing his forehead and sitting in a rocking chair to sing and rock him to sleep.

"Mama loves her darling boy,

Who is a fountain of such joy,

If I don't die, I will protect you.

If I don't live, I won't forget you.

Mama loves her darling boy,

Mama loves her darling boy."

I know the words sound weak, but my voice does not lack emotion. Harry has long been asleep, and yet I repeat the song, tears threatening to spill on his perfect little head. I gently stand and place him in the crib to sleep, nearby my desk so I can gaze protectively on him. I continue to write.

~*~*~*~

That day was horrible, but I got through it. Kira was extremely protective of me and surprisingly the boys, consisting of James, Remus, Sirius Black and some short boy named Peter Pettigrew, joined in her little agenda. I didn't understand it; I didn't care.

But one day, after being tiptoed around for so long, I grew sick of it. I didn't need someone checking up on me every ten minutes. All of that work to spare me, Lily Evans, from some Slytherin insult about dead parents. Lily Evans who rarely, and I stress the word rarely, took anything the Slytherin's had to say to heart. I was extremely good at ignoring peoples' shallow insults and listening to the blunt words of Kira. Kira had so many words, always helpful no matter what the situation. I never understood how she was the wiser one when she was the one that seemed to avoid all the mistakes and still have a good time. She laughed when I said that, saying that she got the mistakes done earlier in life. I decided not to press the subject.

I prolonged the healing process by burying myself in schoolwork. The O.W.L.s were coming up, and I couldn't just use the excuse that I was still mourning. It wasn't practical. So there I was, three weeks from summer vacation, engrossed in my schoolwork and ignoring the fact that I would probably be terribly lonely at the school alone. Petunia had long since replied to my letter, insisting that she wanted nothing to do with me and to 'house up with one of those freak friends of yours.' I didn't show Kira the note, since I didn't want her feeling obligated to house me. I simply talked to Dumbledore and arranged to stay for the summer at the school. Of course, when Kira heard that, she was appalled.

"How could you think of staying here all by yourself? You're coming home with me first thing!"

I can still hear the shock in her voice today.