Fate

Chapter 22 - Blast That Man

Apparating was harder than he had expected, but 'Sirius' wasn't about to back down from the chance. After two attempts with no success, he opened his eyes, frantically looking around to make sure that no one had seen them.

"Sirius?"

He glance down and his heart broke as he saw Emily lying there, 'Remus' kneeling over her with a pained expression on his face as he held her hand. They had had no choice but to escape with Emily still unconscious. 'Sirius' was just thankful that they hadn't killed her yet. On top of his own grief that would no doubt overtake him, 'Remus' would probably be ten times worse.

He knelt down quickly beside 'Remus' looking over both of his friends and taking in the situation again, his eyes sweeping from 'Remus' and Emily to the dark grounds of, what he could only guess, was Malfoy Manor.

"She's loosing too much blood..." 'Remus' muttered quietly, trying to use his wand to heal the numerous bruises and cuts that covered his girlfriend's body.

'Sirius' frowned harder as he once again tried to apparate and nothing happened.

"Moony, something's not right...Apparation's not working..."

'Remus' turned to him at once and 'Sirius' saw him frown in the faint moonlight.

"What?" he hissed. "But he said this was the point-"

He was cut off by a loud bang from the house, followed by a large beam of light traveling up through the air and exploding like a muggle firework. 'Sirius' and 'Remus' both jerked around in horror. The light covered the whole grounds, lighting up their hiding place in the dense trees.

"Come one!" 'Sirius' hissed. "Move!"

Not needing any more encouragement, 'Remus' scooped up Emily's body quickly and the two Marauders began running farther and farther into the woods.

As they ran, 'Sirius' could hear the faint calls behind them, men shouting orders and someone who sounded suspiciously like Voldemort trying to interrogate the Death Eater who had been holding 'Sirius', 'Remus' and Emily's wands.

"Try again!" 'Remus' called out in a huff to 'Sirius' after they had run for another two minutes.

Bringing out his wand for the extra power, 'Sirius' turned to 'Remus', both of them stopping and looking gravely at each other, panting and shaking through their exhaustion.

"Marauder Point Nine?" 'Sirius' said quickly, seeing 'Remus' nod instantly.

At once, the light exploded all around them and before either had a chance, spells shot out towards them.

'Sirius', having the faster reflexes and no person in his arms, rolled away instantly, remembering his Auror training and was able to fire off a few stunning spells.

'Remus' wasn't so lucky.

'Sirius' watched with horror as a curse struck 'Remus' in his shoulder as he tried to run, clinging to Emily tightly. Both of them fell down and 'Sirius' mind went numb as he saw them lying their, helpless under the bright flashes of the curses still being fired towards them.

Neither moved and 'Sirius'' mind raced as he tried to consider his options. As he thought, he ducked around the tree, firing spells and trying to figure out how to get them out of it. He cursed quite a few men who tried to run up to 'Remus' and Emily, but he didn't dare to go out to them himself.

"Black!"

He groaned in frustration and panic as he heard Voldemort's voice yelling at him.

"Plan B, Voldikins!" He called back, trying to be mocking as his mind still raced, a plan formulating in his mind as he looking back and forth between his stunned friends and the approaching line of Death Eaters.

"You fools! Go out there you idiots!"

He cracked a smile as he heard Voldemort yelling at his own men, frustrated with their lack of courage.

He also smiled as he thought of the final pieces of his plan.

For a split second, between firing off curses, he aimed his wand at 'Remus' and Emily, muttering the emergency portkey spell and watching with bated breath as they glowed blue for a moment and then reverberated back to normal. Firing off three more curses, he took a deep breath before throwing himself down on his friends, the remaining Death Eaters finally starting to rush up to their captives as Voldemort's yelling stung their ears.

'Sirius' prayed with all his might as he managed to just reach 'Remus'' fallen hand.

The last thing he heard was Voldemort's cruel voice directing the killing curse at him, a rush of green light....

And then nothing.

----

Severus Snape never thought of himself as an "evil man". He had had many people to compare to, and many examples of evil, but for some reason, despite the years he had tried, he found no pleasure in wickedness.

Though he expected everyone who was in the presence of Albus Dumbledore always felt slightly evil.

Not facing his headmaster in nearly four years, Severus felt extremely uncomfortable in his office, sitting in the same chair he had sat in when being punished, commended, or even scolded. But he was not a boy anymore. No, the last few years had proved that, and it seemed that Dumbledore realized that as much as he had.

Dumbledore, ever the poise of confidence, was sitting serenely behind his desk, his hands folded in front of him as he simple looked at his old student. His gaze had always been unnerving to Severus, as if Dumbledore could know everything about him simply by looking into his eyes.

If he actually could see...if only he knew...

Severus shivered at the thought and tried to control his posture as he was not here to be intimidated. No, not nearly.

"I expect you're waiting for me to talk," he finally said, bluntly, as that was his style and the manner in which he had grown accustom to talking to those around them.

Dumbledore managed a small smile at him and nodded slightly.

Suddenly unwilling to meet the older man's eyes, Severus fidgeted in his chair slightly, trying to find the right words to say first. He knew it had been a risk coming her tonight, but any time would have been a risk.

Lupin and Black had been the perfect cover for what he had wanted.

"I know where they are, Professor."

Another blunt comment, but as Severus chanced a look at the clock, he began to grow nervous, wondering why they hadn't shown up yet.

Not that he cared. But it was rather crucial proof of his story and hopefully a type of bargaining item that he would need to start regaining the Headmaster's trust again.

Dumbledore merely raised his eyebrows slightly at Severus' statement.

Blast that man.

"Black and Lupin," Severus hissed out, trying to control his rage of the thought of actually saving the lives of those two. "The girl as well..."

Dumbledore looked slightly more interested, but Severus could tell that the old man was waiting for something else, something more along the lines of why Severus was here in the first place.

"They were taken to Malfoy Manor..." he still did not meet Dumbledore's eyes but tried to choose his words carefully.

"Indeed?" Dumbledore finally spoke, raising a curious eyebrow.

Silence reigned again and Severus was nearly driven mad by it, knowing that Dumbledore knew quite well everything that he was about to say, but the old man was making him say it, for what purpose, Severus did not know.

"May I ask a question, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I believe you just did." The bloody twinkle showed up in his eye again and Severus groaned. "But before you ask another one, I would request that you call me Albus, like all my old students do."

Severus was quite shocked at the amount of calmness in Dumbledore, no Albus's voice. The trust that he could already feel coming from the man was not something to be taken lightly.

"Very well, Albus," he tried the name out and it seemed quite foreign to him, but he waved the awkwardness away quickly, trying to focus instead on his question. "Is there a reason you did not kill me or curse me on sight when I showed up in your office?"

Dumbledore's (he could not call him Albus just yet) smile faded a little, but it seemed to be because he was contemplating something.

"You know very well who I am...what I am," Severus practically spat out.

"Yes Severus, I do..." Dumbledore leaned forward slightly. "But I had two reasons, actually, why I chose instead to ask you to sit down and join me. One is that no person can come through my floo network unless they mean me no harm."

Severus had never before heard of a spell of enchantment that could regulate the floo network like that. Fireplaces and fire itself was too unstable to really make conditions for it. Most people who had threats simply disconnected their floo network or got rid of their fireplace all together. Though the mean of transportation was quick and efficient, it came at a high price when you had an enemy.

"I had wondered," Severus said aloud, "why it had been so simple for me to come. True, it did take me a while to find a port that was actually connected to Hogwarts, I had imagined having to break quite a few wards to even get within the confines of the castle."

Dumbledore nodded. "Most people would have to."

"But not me?"

"Reason number two," Dumbledore, continued, choosing not to answer him, "is that you, my dear boy, have never been a threat to me."

"That can be taken in two ways," Severus said, feeling rather confused. "Either that my magical skill is nowhere near yours, which I know happens to be true, or the fact that you knew I would never make a good Death Eater."

There he had finally said it. He felt the title drip from his lips like poison and he cringed, thinking about the choice he had made at age seventeen and the consequences of that choice.

"Oh, no Severus, you are mistaken on one point I'm afraid," Dumbledore answered. "Though it is true that in some areas of magical ability, I have the upper hand, there were moments, many moments my boy, when I felt your power stronger than mine."

Severus tried to sneer, but felt himself just frowning in confusion. Albus Dumbledore was the strongest and most powerful wizard alive. What exactly was he saying?

"Your potion skills for one thing," he expounded, "were not something that I think any of the professor's here took lightly. In fact, I don't believe that anyone doubted you in that area for a moment. Another example is your Occlumency training."

Severus took a deep breath, trying to control his racing heart. Dumbledore knew? How-

"Yes, I knew," the wizard replied, once again being almost too omniscient for Severus' likings. "I'm quite skilled in the area myself, Severus, and I fear that even you, training yourself with help from no one, are able to block me completely."

Severus eyes went wide at the confession and he forgot for a moment why he had come here in the first place. Why is it that Dumbledore seemed to always get the upper hand with him, no matter what their discussion was about?

"Sir, I..." he stuttered, trying to get back on topic before Dumbledore could make him even more speechless. "I...I remembered what you told me, that night before graduation..."

Dumbledore nodded. Blast that man!

"Before my parents died..." Merlin, he couldn't believe he was telling someone this! "My father was very proud...strict and firm in his beliefs, my mother as well...Both knew the risks of joining him," Severus did not say his name on purpose, "But neither cared, and neither backed down from doing his...bidding," he said the last work mockingly and bitterly, realizing that he himself had been doing that man's bidding for the past four years.

"I joined simply because it had been expected, even required, for me, being from my family line."

"And yet you are here," Dumbledore said gently, once again realizing what Severus wanted to say before he even did. "You are different from them, Severus."

He reluctantly nodded. "That is a realization I have only begun to acquire...How is it that you already knew?"

Dumbledore leaned slightly back, smiling a bit. "I notice things that you would never believe Severus, and I watch all my students more carefully than they believe." He leaned forward and for some reason his gaze drew Severus back in again and he locked eyes with his old Headmaster again. "You say you remember the conversation that we had that night, Severus?"

"You knew even then." Blunt, to the point. Severus was getting tired of this cat and mouse game.

"I did."

"And yet you let me go to him. You let me serve that...that monster. Throwing away my life and giving it to this power hungry man who burned his mark into my arm and used me as a footstool." Severus' voice was not accusing, merely contemplative and questioning as he realized just how tricky this old man was.

Dumbledore nodded. "I did. And I believe that it was best for you."

"Best?"

"If I had told you that night the things I have told you tonight, would you have listened? Would you have given a second thought to the polar life that I would have offered you? One away from the people you had grown up with and come to agree with?"

Finally realizing where he was going, Severus leaned back in his seat, putting a hand over his face. "No," he mumbled. "No...I wouldn't have..."

"Yet now, you are here, fully aware of the consequences from both sides and fully understanding both sides of the story."

Severus wasn't aware that the old wizard had moved, but he suddenly felt a hand pull his arm from in front of his face and he looked questionably into the twinkling blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

"I...I am sorry Albus..." he said for absolutely no reason at all, though he knew that he had to say it.

"For what?"

"You know for what, blast it all!" Severus stood up quickly, knocking over his chair and backing away. "Merlin! How could I have been so....Blimey, how could anyone be so, so bloody ignorant of, of everything!"

He had his back to his old professor and slammed his hand into the wall, trying once again to calm his racing heart.

"Power, and the illusion of it, can be a very tricky thing," Dumbledore's gentle voice broke in. "You were also raised in a certain way, Severus, raised in a way that made you want to follow that path. But upon entering that world, that society and seeing it for what it was you found your conscious again and made your choice. And, if I do say so myself, I am very proud of you."

Severus whirled around and with wide eyes tried to digest what he had just heard.

"Headmaster, I have killed, murdered, innocent people. I have tortured ministry workers and been at the Dark Lord's side as he kills people that I grew up in school with. I have seen the killing curse more times than I wish to remember and I have preformed it more times than a person would dream of. I have brewed potions that make that man, that monster, stronger and more powerful so that he could rid the world of the 'unworthy ones'. And the only reason, through all of this, that the Dark Lord didn't kill me was because I forced myself to learn Occlumency at school, terrified at the thought that any ill thought or dream that he came across would cost me my life..."

Dumbledore, however, did not seem phased at all.

Blast that man.

"Severus, why are you here now?"

"What?" Severus snapped back.

"Here. Now. Did someone force you? Were you tricked?"

"Of course not!" Severus glared, finally ripping the mask off his neck and throwing it on the ground. "I chose to come here."

Those eyes of his twinkled again.

"Exactly, Severus. Exactly."

----

The dark corridors of Hogwarts had not changed at all, and Sirius was grateful that he was now walking through them without breaking the rules and therefore didn't flinch as he saw Filch's cat race by him unexpectedly. Shaken, but still trying to recover from his talk with James, he sped up, hoping to get back to his room quick enough to catch a bit of sleep before they began again in the morning.

He was undoubtedly tired now, more so than he had been in Dumbledore's office. The talk with James seemed to have taken a few of the weights off of his shoulders so that relaxation wasn't as hard as it had been.

After James had left, Sirius had found himself falling asleep in his chair and had decided to try and make it back to his room to at least sleep somewhere where he wouldn't wake up with a kink in his neck in the morning.

Turning one of the last corridors, his eyes went wide instantly as his foot caught on something and he fell to the ground with a grunt, his already weary body protesting to the ill treatment.

Cursing a few times, he tried to scramble up, but it seemed the thing he had tripped over was far larger than he realized. He nearly cried out at seeing the mound of bodies that was now behind him, but bit his bottom lip, pulling out his wand and scrambling up pointing it down at the bodies as he whispered "Lumos."

Dropping his wand in shock, he fell to his knees again, flipping the top body over and seen his younger face, eyes closed and limp as death. Quickly flipping over the other two bodies, he saw Remus' young face as well as a face that he hadn't seen in years but knew all too well. Emily...

Seconds ago, he was sure his exhaustion might have even prevented him from making it back to his room, but now he scrambled up, Emily's body in his arms and rushed down the hall towards the Hospital Wing.

Luckily he wasn't far away and kicked the door open, not bothering to look around for Madam Pomfrey. He rushed to the nearest bed, lying Emily on it carefully before rushing back out and repeating the process with Remus and finally with himself.

As he entered, carrying his younger self, he saw that the matron has obviously heard his racket and was bustling about the beds, mumbling to herself and waving her wand around. She looked up, surprised at seeing him and seeing the body in his arms.

"Please," Sirius crocked out, his voice horse from his exhaustion that he had forgotten about momentarily. "You have to help them..." He didn't have time now to explain who he was to her and had no intention of trying to make her understand before he knew what was wrong with the three unconscious people in the room.

"Come, lay him over here." Ever the diligent nurse, Pomfrey motioned him to another bed and he went over, carefully laying 'Sirius' down. As he pulled back, however, he stopped short, holding his breath as he stared at his younger form. Pomfrey pushed him slightly out of the way, but he moved to the head of the bed and kept staring at himself.

What the-?

Sirius' eyes went wide as he figured it out, and Madam Pomfrey seemed to realize it at the same time. She stopped short, her eyes going wide.

But before Sirius could say a word, she had shoved him out of the door, commanding him to fetch the headmaster and locking it behind him.

But Sirius didn't move. He couldn't move and he felt as if he couldn't breath...

Well, maybe he couldn't...

Because his younger form wasn't...

'Sirius' wasn't breathing.