Fate

Chapter 18 - Why Would I Trust Myself?

Silence rang through the Potter house in the early morning hours of August 15^th. The Potter's themselves, James and Lily, were still in the same position that they had been all night: sitting on their couch in their living room, holding each other's hands and talking occasionally to the guests in their house, little Harry still asleep up in his crib.

'Sirius' and 'Remus', James' two best friends, sat across from the couple, not looking much better than them and trying their best to come up with a solution that wasn't presenting its self.

The other occupants of the house, while looking very much in place and quite familiar, were the most nervous as they sat in other various parts of the room, occasionally taking part in the conversation, but mostly lost in their own thoughts, or quiet conversations with each other.

Finally, as the first beam of light seemed to creep through the windows, James Potter leaned forward and spoke again.

"Voldemort will know who you are by now," he said in a half whisper, not meeting the eyes of anyone in the room.

The silence lasted for a moment more as everyone absorbed the information that had finally been said aloud.

Then, from over in the corner, a much older and much more tired Remus Lupin spoke up.

"Then none of us are safe..."

The uncomfortable silence dropped over them again and was interrupted this time by a sharp knock on the door. James stood up immediately, fingering his wand just slightly as he went over and pulled the door open.

It was only Dumbledore.

Their old professor smiled kindly at them as James motioned him in. Dumbledore looked around curiously, obviously noticing the downcast mood of his audience and their rapt attention that was now fixed on him.

"Well, Albus?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore spread his hands out in apology. "The tracking charm put on Peter seems to have been disabled. We fear he has reached Voldemort already."

No one seemed to know what to say. All of them had been hoping for the best, but knowing in their hearts that it was too easy to happen so quickly.

"What could you get out of the Dementors?" Sirius asked, the trace of bitterness in his voice something that he was unable to hide.

"It seems that the Patronus charm was indeed cast on them as they were escorting Mr. Pettigrew, though, it was not from him."

"Bollocks!" 'Sirius' pounded his fist on the table in front of him. "How could anyone have gotten to him so quickly?"

"Not much more is known at this time," Dumbledore replied sadly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return back to the school and take care of a few things."

Their feeble goodbyes followed Dumbledore out and as soon as the door clicked shut, 'Remus' looked up.

"We have to reach Emily in time..." he said in barely above a whisper. "What if he's already got her?"

"We'll get her back," Sirius assured him. "Make no doubt about it..." he turned to Remus. "We'll get her back..."

"And what about Arianna?" 'Sirius' questioned. "Is she still safe? If Peter was the one who turned her over too..." He trailed off and Sirius could see the fear showing up in his younger self's face.

"No one knows where she is right now," Sirius assured him, "except for us. Not even Peter knows. He can't do anything to her."

"Still...Peter was a Marauder..." 'Sirius' bit his bottom lip. "Wouldn't she be safer here? Or at Hogwarts?"

Upon leaving Hogwarts, the group had decided that, for her safety, Arianna should immediately go into hiding, at least until Peter was secure in Azkaban. Hogwarts was, of course, their first choice, but as the castle was still deserted besides a caretaker and a groundskeeper, as Dumbledore would be gone on Order business, they had to figure something else out. Neither of the Sirius' were taking chances and so 'Sirius' had taken her to one of the "Marauder Spots", as they liked to call it, and locked her in, promising to come and get her when it was safe. As a double caution, in case Peter did escape and it wasn't just Sirius' father who was looking for her, they had set up numerous wards around the hideout.

"The way I see it," James interjected, "we need to send someone to get Arianna and someone to get Emily and get them to Hogwarts as fast as possible. Dumbledore will be there in a few hours and we can stay there until we figure out our next move." He blanched a bit. "Who knows what Peter has told Voldemort already?"

Sirius felt the familiar burst of anger toward Peter again and wondered vaguely why he had been expecting this to be so easy. Dumbledore himself had warned him and Remus about the dangers of playing with time...

He hoped that this was going to be the only slip up they would have to deal with, but in his heart he knew that this was just the beginning.

"James is right," Sirius said, standing up. "But we have to move quickly. Now."

----

Sirius hurried along the path, Remus trying to keep up as best he could as they walked along the dark road, their cloaks wrapped tightly around them to block their identity and their faces turned down as they skillfully navigated through the quiet and almost deserted streets of Hogsmead.

He stopped suddenly, seeing a shadow come out of one of the shops. Staying in the darkness, he motioned Remus to stop and they both held their breath as they squinted to try and see the identity of the person.

Seeing it was only the store owner closing up, Sirius started off again, trying to calm his beating heart. They had to make it in time...he didn't think he could take it if they weren't in time....

They had split up earlier that morning and Remus and Sirius had been assigned to go get Arianna out of her hiding place. They had, unfortunately, spent most of the day trying to loose the shadow they had acquired as they went through a muggle neighborhood that was near the Leaky Cauldron. They had thought they had lost the person over ten times, but he had always shown up again. Not about to lead an unidentified person into one of the Marauder Spots, they had taken to traveling in circles. They finally lost him by going down Diagon Alley during the rush hours of the late afternoon and had only just made it over to Hogsmead.

But by now they were both as jumpy as heck.

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus whispered from behind him, and Sirius wondered for the 500^th time how he did that.

"How is it," Sirius hissed, annoyed, as they stopped once again to let a group of drunken wizards pass them over, "that you always seem to be able to read my mind?"

"Maybe I've been taking occlumency lessons from Dumbledore."

Sirius turned sharply to him, frowning. "Well at least you didn't say Snivellus."

Remus, undoubtedly thinking his friend quite childish, rolled his eyes and nudged Sirius to start walking again. They were silent all up until they reached the mountainside behind Hogsmead and began to climb.

"It's strange," Sirius said softly as they climbed, "how much I've forgotten."

"Yes, I know what you mean," Remus said dryly, obviously referring to Emily. "Though, you must admit that we did have valid reasons to not want to remember."

They both got up to the first ledge and began creeping along the sides.

"True," Sirius admitted. "I mean, never in a million years would I have seen us here, doing what we're doing..." he shook his head in disbelief. "I don't think I've even dreamed of something like this."

Remus chuckled lightly and Sirius smirked, pulling out his wand as he saw the familiar landmark come into view.

It wasn't an outstanding landmark for any reason, and that was exactly why the Marauders had decided to use it. The rock on the hillside jutted out just slightly, a perfectly normal occurrence in the jagged hills, but this one was different; different for the precise fact that it was the key to the entrance to one of the famous Marauder Spots.

Waving his wand slightly, he managed to dispel the wards that covered the outcrop and allow him and Remus to enter. Taking a deep breath, Sirius reached his wand out, tapping the small ledge slightly twice and said,

"Brothers in breath,

Brothers in death,

My brothers I will defend

From now until the end."

They had come up with many silly rhymes throughout their Hogwarts Days, most of them ending up as passwords for a Marauder Spot or for one of their legacy items that they left at Hogwarts, things like the Marauders Map.

As he finished talking, the ledge began moving out ever so slowly, until it was wide enough for four people to stand on it. Pocketing his wand quickly, Sirius heaved himself up onto the ledge before reaching down to help Remus up. As soon as they were both standing on it, the ledge started moving in again, but Sirius and Remus didn't panic. Despite that both of them had not been here for several years, they knew this place like the back of their hand. As the ledge disappeared into the mountainside, so did Sirius and Remus. Quick as Platform 9 ¾, the two Marauders entered the secret room.

Neither of them moved for several seconds as they saw what it looked like inside. It wasn't a very big room, probably the size of Gryffindor Boy's Common Room, but it looked even smaller as they saw the destruction all around it.

Every piece of furniture was turned over and thrown haphazardly; most of them were broken as well. Every item in the room seemed to have been thrown against the wall and shattered. There were pieces of ripped up and crumpled parchment, a lot of it ripped out of books, scattering the floor.

Sirius felt his heart stop beating in his chest as he realized what had happened.

Arianna was gone.

----

'Sirius' was not always good at hiding his feelings and for this very reason he managed to stub his toe right good as he kicked a brick wall in frustration. This only caused 'Remus' to frown at him seriously.

"Cut it out," 'Remus' scolded, holding his lit wand out farther so they could see in the growing dark of the evening. "You're not helping her by hurting yourself."

But 'Sirius' just scowled at his friend, not believing him at all. "Well at least when I'm in pain I think about something other than her."

'Remus' wisely chose not to say anything and continued pressing on, feeling more lost than he had felt yet that day, which was saying something as it had taken the both of them half a day just to find the right apparition point in Scotland.

"Who made these groups anyway?" 'Sirius' asked, continuing to scowl. "I should have been able to go get my own fiancé."

'Remus' rolled his eyes, looking much like his older counterpart and brushed aside his hair as he looked down at the map in his hand. "You agreed to go in these groups. If we get caught, we can't afford to have a counterpart and their, well, counterpart, caught at the same time. How would you react if someone did a routine biospell on you and found that you were a cloned copy of your traveling companion and then you got thrown into bureaucracy as you tried to explain to our lovely Cornelius Fudge about the ethics of time travel?"

"Alright, alright, I get it..." 'Sirius' mumbled, seemingly defeated as he managed to stay quiet for the next few minutes, giving 'Remus' the time to check the map and do a four point spell with his wand, thankfully showing him not far away from Emily's Inn that she was staying at.

"Besides," 'Remus' grinned and started walking towards the main street, already able to spot the sign of the Inn, "don't you trust yourself?"

"Remus, I know myself...why would I trust myself?" 'Sirius' said obviously.

"Oh, I don't know, you seemed a little more mature..."

"Well I guess Azkaban will do that to you..."

'Remus' turned to his friend in surprise as they stopped to wait for the cars to finish going across. He hadn't yet heard 'Sirius' mention anything about that little piece of information that he was sure Sirius had let slip on accident. Through the faint light of the muggle street lights, 'Remus' saw the very melancholy look on 'Sirius'' face and the way the light in his eyes seemed to die as he thought about it.

"Come on," he grabbed onto 'Sirius'' arm, tugging him across the street, wanting to pull him out of his thoughts. The two of them crossed the street swiftly, both of them being sure to look around discreetly for any shadows they might have picked up.

But all was clear as they entered the building and started climbing the stairs. It was a wizarding Inn but being in a mostly muggle neighborhood, it was under heavy wards and to most of the muggles outside, 'Sirius' and 'Remus' literally disappeared into thin air.

Reaching room 313, 'Remus' breathed a sigh of relief at seeing nothing out of the ordinary around the floor. He looked back at 'Sirius' who just shrugged, looking quite unconcerned. As he was about to raise his hand to knock, the door flew open and 'Remus' felt his heartbeat slow down considerably as Emily stood there, confused, but still with a smile on her face as she saw them.

"Remus!" She launched herself into 'Remus'' arms and he held her tightly, trying to convince himself that she was okay and they he really was holding onto her at the moment.

He heard a very fake sniffle behind them and turned to see 'Sirius' looking on with his lip in a pout.

"I feel unloved," 'Sirius' wined, making 'Remus' smirk and Emily laugh.

Such a beautiful laugh, 'Remus' thought to himself as Emily reached up to give 'Sirius' a hug. Merlin, what if one day it really was just taken away from me...I'd want to forget as well...

"So what are you two doing here?"

Emily's voice snapped him to attention again and he looked up at her to see her smirking at them both, motioning them inside her small hotel room that was dimly lit.

"Were you asleep?" 'Remus' asked with concern, but Emily only smiled.

"Just on my way, no big deal," she smiled at him in his heart melted again. 'Remus' joined her over on the small couch as 'Sirius' started, as usual, poking nosily around the apartment.

"What's the big deal then?" she looked from 'Remus' to 'Sirius'. "Escaping from another prank?"

"Ah, Emy, I wouldn't hold that one time against us," 'Sirius' said cheekily. "We only came to you because we knew you'd rather eat dung than get mad at Remus."

'Remus' blushed slightly, but managed to reach out and grab Emily around the waist, pulling her closer to him as 'Sirius' reached over, shutting the door of the apartment, plunging them into the semi darkness of Emily's room. He never wanted to let her out of his sight again. He wondered just exactly how his future self had reacted when he had seen her dead body.

Involuntarily shivering, 'Remus' buried his face in Emily's hair, holding her to him. Despite her obvious confusion, Emily still held him back strongly while she scowled at 'Sirius'.

"None of that, Sirius," she warned. "I can still whip your arse at dueling practice."

'Remus' pulled away and content himself with just holding onto her waist as he watched his best friend and his girlfriend have their common war of words with one another.

"I dunno," 'Sirius' said lazily, twirling his wand in one hand. "I've been practicing."

Instead of biting back though, Emily turned to 'Remus'; her eyes full of concern.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him, obviously thrown off by his unusually clingy behavior. They had both been technically going out since their sixth year at Hogwarts, but they had only reached the really comfortable stage around each other about a year ago. Rarely did they hold each other so much in public. She frowned, "How was the last full moon?"

"Bloody awful," 'Remus' said shortly, turning away from her. He never felt comfortable talking with Emily about his condition, though he knew he shouldn't be. It's like he always had this underlying fear that if they talked about it too much she would suddenly realize what he was and pick up and leave.

"I'm sorry..." she leaned forward; resting her forehead on his and making him look at her.

At her unspoken invitation, Remus leaned down, kissing her softly, relishing in the fact that she was still here, still in his arms and very much alive.

"Emily, you have nothing to eat in here!"

They both broke apart, Emily giggling and 'Remus' rolling his eyes again, as he tended to do a lot whenever 'Sirius' was around. Apparently when the Sirius-so-called "lovey stuff" had begun, 'Sirius' had wandered into Emily's small kitchen area and had scrounged for food.

"Merlin, Sirius! It's nine at night! Didn't you have dinner?" Emily asked, of course, already knowing the answer.

Sure enough, 'Sirius' poked his smirking head out of the door and cocked his head at her. "Yes. You're point?"

"Human garbage disposal, that's what you are," Emily growled playfully, getting up out of 'Remus'' arms and going over to a cabinet, pulling a bag of biscuits out and throwing them at 'Sirius'. "Knock yourself out."

'Sirius' immediately dug in and 'Remus' chuckled, relieved that at least some things, like 'Sirius'' amazing appetite, never changed. Emily fell down on the couch next to him again and leaned her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her.

"So what's up, Remus? Not like I don't enjoy having you come visit..." He saw her smile slightly and he couldn't help but smile too, despite the news he was about to tell her that he was sure would not make her smile.

Opening his mouth to speak, 'Remus' was cut off by a loud explosion behind them, shattering the two windows in the room and throwing the broken glass around them as Emily screamed and 'Sirius' let off a string of curses.

Instinctively, 'Remus' pulled Emily down behind the couch, giving them some kind of protection for the flying projectiles as chairs and side tables also exploded in the ruckus.

He dimly heard Sirius shout something that he couldn't make out. It was followed by several flashed of bright light and streams of sparks beginning to fly all over the room.

The Death Eaters were here.