No One in the World Ever Gets What They Want...

"The woman was a dream I had, though rather hard to keep. For when my eyes were watching hers, they closed, and I was still asleep. For when my hand was holding hers, she whispered words and I awoke, and faintly bouncing 'round the room, the echo of whomever spoke," Jess sang quietly to himself.

Draco looked at him. "You have a very nice singing voice," he said.

"Uh, thanks," Jess said. He had never been complimented on his singing before. In fact, most people thought it was horrible. Then again, he had been in Europe once, and the music over there did was awful. To his recollection, most of the songs sounded like Britney Spears would if she sang '80s pop songs and wrote her own lyrics. So, maybe Draco was just used to crap.

"What was it?" Draco said nicely.

"Phish."

"Fish? Like salmon?"

Jess laughed. "Exactly."

"Oh...I didn't know salmon could sing."

"Well now you do," Jess smiled. "Pretty busy day we've had, eh?" he said as tumbleweed rolled past the counter.

"Apparently wizards have better sense than to shop at Wal-mart..." Draco sighed.

"Here comes people," Jess laughed as two people, dressed as pirates walked into the store.

Draco squinted at the people who walked in. One was a guy he didn't know, and the other was a girl who he well recognized. "Granger?"

"Malfoy? You scurvy scum! Don't you ever get a day off?" Hermione said with a bit of annoyance in her, attempt to sound piratey, voice.

"Don't you ever go anywhere else?" Draco said angrily. The boy who had come in with Hermione had his arm tightly around her waist. "So, are you going to introduce us to the man in eyeliner?"

"Oh, uh, Aye! This be Jimmy Fallon," Hermione said.

"Nice to me-" Jimmy began, but Draco cut him off.

"How old are you?" he said, as if he were quizzing his daughter's new boyfriend.

"Well, I really be twenty-seven, but for the sake of this story, I be but seventeen years of age. I'm tad nerdier, but still gorgeous. The eyeliner makes me look older," Jimmy said quickly, and Hermione began giggling girlishly.

Draco squinted at Jimmy, as if to say that he was a loser for talking in pirate. "I didn't ask you your life story," Draco rolled his eyes and looked back at Hermione, ignoring Jess' smirk. "So what's with the pirate outfits and lingo?"

"Aye, we be pirates, savvy?" Jimmy said and looked down at Hermione, who was in his arm, giggling quietly. Hermione was acting weird, and Draco didn't like it. She was being ditzy, and it wasn't her.

"I was asking the lady, thank you. And what's with the eyeliner man? Real men don't where eyeliner."

"I think it's sexy," Hermione said, smiling up at Jimmy and brushing his hair out of his face.

"What's sexy about it? I guess if you like gay guys," Draco snarled.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "If a guy has the balls to wear make up, that's what I call sexy."

Draco grunted angrily, but said nothing.

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "I have completely forgotten why I came in here," she said, dazed. She was definitely not acting like herself. It was bothering Draco. "Oh, by the way," she whispered, "Sorry about bringing a muggle in here, your muggle detector is going berserk."

"We have a muggle detector?" Draco said and looked where Hermione was pointing. There, sure enough, was a blinking red light labeled "Muggle Detector". Draco shrugged and looked back at Hermione to yell at her for bringing a muggle into the store, but she was already half way out the door. He watched her out the window as Jimmy, who's arm was still tightly around her waist, puller yet closer, to give her a long, wet, kiss. Draco looked away in disgust.

"Sorry about the dude, man," Jess said kindly. "That's gotta suck."

Draco looked up at Jess' kind face. Suddenly, there was something that Draco had to do. "Can I talk to you, alone?" Draco asked Jess.

"Uh, sure," Jess said, uncertain. Jess followed Draco down to the end of the last aisle, behind the curtain. "What's wro-" Jess began, but was interrupted by Draco's soft lips on his. At first he was shocked, as one might guess, but after a few seconds he closed his eyes, and gave in. There, under the peeping eyes of porn and sex toys, the two kissed.