Night

A short ficlet done in Harry's P.O.V. while he's sitting in a safe house.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but whenever those lawyers come through... and I might not be J. K. Rowling yet. But I have sat in Starbucks writing fanfics on the backs of napkins. So you just wait... ^^

Night

It beats against the windows, trying to get in. It trails the walls with bloody fingers, searching every crevice, and feeling every niche.

I sit there in the dimly lit room, staring at my reflection.

Surrounded by 4 walls, there is protection from that monstrosity outside.

But there is no protection from myself.

The exact replica of myself, sits there, quietly subdued. I study it, noticing the scars lining my chest, and the fading bruises. My pants still hang low about my waist, kept up only by my belt. My stomach is sunken in, the ribs sticking out with sickening obviousness.

I avoid looking at my face. My lifeless green eyes are too painful a reminder.

Those days at Hogwarts were tucked away in the corner of my mind. They were too painful to hold from a distance. And it was so tantalizingly easy to loose myself in the past.

My stomach churns; threatening to abandon the meager dinner I'd just eaten. I don't want to look at myself, don't want to see how far away those days of peace really were. I don't want to see the way my once tanned skin had turned sallow, the enormous bags under my eyes, and the empowering look of death.

But my gaze bores into the mirror.

What is outside the window is much worse.

I can't look out. The constant drumming is getting to my head. It wants me to get angry, it wants me to loose what sanity I have. Slowly, it is winning. And soon it will hold me entranced by it's death melody.

It knows my life is flickering, and how it's too hard for me to look at the outside world.

I will sit here protected by the walls and ceiling for tonight, and when dawn rises I will venture out to face that monster.

It laughs with maliciousness, baring the pain and agony of innocents for me to see.

And I am the only one that can see it. The others can't help but think I've gone insane.

But I know it is real, and it's outside waiting for me.

Playing its rhythmic pounding, luring me, tempting me to fall to it.

But I won't go out. Not yet.

I know what's out there; I remember the streaming rivers of blood. And it's right outside, still beating at my windows. Trying to reach me. Trying to seep through my walls and extinguish what's left of my wavering life.

So here I sit, waiting for the dawn to come, waiting for when I can forget that monster.

I stare at myself, noting a new scar that has appeared.

Tomorrow, after the endless night, I will be able to go out again.

Please review, and BE HARSH. I'll personally kill all pity reviews. ^_^