Her Decision

Her Decision

Hermione sighed as she felt warm arms encircle her waist. Her every sense was instantly awakened; her hair on end, her mouth dry. She could almost see his fingers, as they crawled languidly over her back, leaving a trail of fire... and want, need. She could practically see his enjoyment, hear it... feel it. The world began to blur around her, all she felt was him- his want, his need, his touches. His hands crawled lazily down her stomach, painfully slowly, coming to rest on her waistband.

"Do you want me to take advantage of you, Hermione? Do you want to be dirty and defiled- ruined and spoiled?" Hermione whimpered, knowing what she wanted, so badly, what she needed. "You may think, Hermione, but you don't know. Every one of your senses is awake- buzzing, and I haven't even kissed you. Can you cope? Will it destroy you, Hermione? Break you, till you have no memory of life without it- will it hook you, pull you in?"

Abruptly he took a step back.

Hermione whimpered, feeling cold, and naked. Her skin felt cool again, the world came back into focus. But still, he was there, in her mind, in her senses.

"How do you feel now, Hermione? Is that a good place to be? Is it right you feel how you do? Is it really worth the pleasure to feel the emptiness, the sorrow, the disappointment?" Hermione said nothing, she wouldn't look at him. "Don't be so naïve as to think I won't leave you, Hermione. I'll bring you up as high as you'll go, make you soar through clouds, climb mountains, be where you've always wanted to be and you'll love it. Love me. Love what I've done."

He paused and looked at her. "But then I'll let you go. And believe me when I say this, Hermione. You'll fall. Hard. Will that pleasure, that feeling of total completion, that feeling of purpose be worth it? Will you be able to live with yourself when you realise what you've done? You can blame it on me, if it makes you feel better, if it makes it just that bit more bearable, but I think you'll know you were beyond willing. You were wanting, needing, and you fell, straight into my arms. I'm not a forgiving person, Hermione. You say yes- I won't let you go. And trust me when I say you'll hate yourself for it."

Hermione had wrapped her arms round her waist as he spoke, her head down in her chest, bushy brown hair falling wildly over her face. But the hair only partially shielded the tears, the internal destruction that was pouring onto the surface.

He approached her and stood in front. He looked with his eyes blank at her tear stained face.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Hermione. I don't love you. I never will and you needn't try to convince yourself I ever will. And frankly, I'm finding it quite enjoyable to watch you here, letting yourself be destroyed."

"I'm not letting myself be destroyed- you're destroying me." Hermione whispered from under her curtain of hair.

"I never destroyed you because I never had you. I never promised you myself, you're letting yourself be destroyed by some foolish wish, a want," he replied carelessly, looking on her with contempt.

"You," Hermione gasped, looking up. "You lead me on!"

"Yes, I did, but I told you not to be naïve. This is not my fault."

Hermione stared into his face. "This never would have happened if it wasn't for you." She whispered her words sadly, her eyes seemed to be flooding with tears, her face soaked with her touchable pain.

"True. But you took a liking to me- followed me, wanted me. It was your fault as well. Don't blame me alone- it won't make you feel any better- make the pain less real."

She turned her face away from his, wishing, if only for one second that it had never happened. She was so ashamed, for letting herself be sucked into his ways and his wills. She had been willing, willing to accept his contempt, his contempt for her. But she had ignored it- let herself pretend that he wanted her; that it would all be fine.

However, the fact remained that he wasn't a caring man. He was dark, full of twisted evil and Slytherin ways. He held everyone he knew in contempt. Why should she have been different?

"Is it worth it, Hermione? For your brief pleasure will you accept the pain, the heartbreak? Your total destruction?"

Hermione stared at her feet a bit more. Was it worth it? It would show her he loved her- that he really did care. He would love her, be with her, show her he did care.

"No."

Because now it had come to this point did she want him to love her, be with her, show her he did care?

Yes.