Learning to Cope

Chapter 4

The awkwardness hung in the air between them, tension strung tight. Added to that was the uncomfortable awareness of the other's discomfort. It was strange, to say the least. Neither of them knew how to handle their unique situation.

"Well," he took charge in a brisk manner, "I suppose there's no use in continuing our detention today. You will not speak to anyone on this subject; with luck, we can just go on with our lives and ignore this...thing."

"I disagree, Professor," she said quietly. "I find it highly uncomfortable to share such intimate feelings with another."

"As if I wanted to share mine! And with a student, no less! But what would you have us do about it?" He swept around the Potions classroom.

"There should be a counter spell somewhere-"

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Why didn't I think of that? We'll just pop into the library and find it in a book."

"But if he used-"

"You don't know Dumbledore like I know him. That sneaky wizard never did anything without planning and plotting everything through. It would probably take more time to find the solution than to wait it out. Why bother? And say we did break the spell. Do you want to find out what other tricks he has up his sleeve?" He shuddered. "I can't imagine anything worse, but there must be."

Hermione mulled over his words. They made sense, in a twisted, cynical way. Reluctantly, she agreed, though it went again her nature to sit idly on a problem. "So what do we do?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We will both treat each other exactly the same as always." He gave her a sharp look. "So don't expect any special treatment, Miss Granger."

Her spine stiffened at the insult and her words were ice tipped when she spoke. "I wouldn't dream of anything otherwise."

"Good, you may leave now."

~~~

The door shut behind her, so carefully he knew she must be resisting the temptation to slam it. That girl had a hell of a temper. He massaged his temple, feeling the flame of it burning in his head, rivaling with twin feelings of relief and embarrassment. He recalled his close encounter with Sibyll and almost lost his dinner. How had he gotten himself into this mess?

~~~

She didn't know who to curse more. Dumbledore, for casting that ridiculous spell on them, Snape, for being the bastard he was, or herself. For being the most foolish of all. If only she hadn't been so stupid as to give in to her desire for revenge. In front of Dumbledore of all people! She made a face. He would probably know about it even if she hadn't.

But oh! It had been almost worth it! To see the look of surprise wash over his face before he realized what happened, then to watch his potentially embarrassing affectionate display with the Divination teacher. Who, everyone knew, loved to flirt with the unresponsive Potions teacher. Harry, Ron, and herself had been waiting for the moment after he had taken the first love potion laced sip. How they had ever gotten it into the teachers' cups she would never know.

"It's a secret," Ron had said, his chest puffing out proudly. "One my brothers taught me how to pull off."

Try as she might, she couldn't figure out the trick. She suspected it had something to do with the fact that he smelled of dead fish and incense. Though she wouldn't put it past them to simply give it to Trelawney and leave her to figure out the rest. Suddenly, she felt nauseas and almost panicked. Oh no, had she swallowed more love potion? But then she found that it wasn't her own stomach rolling and pitching; the source was from Snape. She sighed. This was getting to be rather annoying. She prodded at the ball of sensations in her head cautiously. It seemed as though if only feelings, those associated with physical sensations or emotions, came through.

She refused to feel sorry for him, though she felt a twinge of guilt at the thought that she might have caused his illness. She wondered what he was thinking at the moment. She wasn't sure whether that was good or bad. Should she be glad that she was spared from every snarky thing he thought, but managed to restrain from voicing? On the other hand, it would be a major advantage to get into Snape's mind. Imagine the possibilities...Blackmail came immediately to mind. It was probably a good thing then. If she could read his mind, she would be all too tempted to misuse it. She gave a small sigh of regret.

~~~

It had been a week since the Incident. True to his word, Professor Snape did not treat her any differently. The only noticeable difference being that he spent as little time with her as possible, even as he passed out his usual insults. She was pleased to see that her extra effort (extra, extra, in her case) had paid off. Her latest score, though not up to her usual standards, had not hit the all-time-low of eighty again.

She had half-heartedly searched through the Library for a counter spell, knowing that it was probably a waste of time, yet unable to help herself. As Professor Snape had predicted, there was no mention of such a spell in the standard textbooks, nor in any of the ancient tomes or those that dealt with darker spells. She did find several similar spells dealing with mind reading and sharing thoughts, but none for sharing feelings. For one thing, it was a pretty useless spell to cast on anyone. It could be used to monitor the emotional and physical conditions of patients, but not to explain why and how someone was feeling pain. With reluctance, she had finally closed the last book and conceded that nothing else could be done.

Hermione had decided to confide in Harry and Ron, in spite of the warning to stay silent. She figured they deserved to know why their lives were going to be Hell for the next few months. They had goggled, shell-shocked, until Ron had finally spat out, "Bloody buggering bats! To be connected to that-that...Merlin, nothing could be worse! Can you imagine having those slimy feelings inside of you? And Professor Dumbledore! I thought he was on our side!" He had continued to rant and rave, as if he were the one so punished. "Thank you, Ron," she had said dryly. "That makes me feel so much better. It's not like it's you who's stuck in this situation."

"But," reminded Harry, "if you'll remember, it was you who wanted to get back at Snape. Not us."That had been the end of their conversation, for they had been interrupted by the noise of their Housemates trouping in.

~~~ To their mutual horror, it was discovered that every little thing they felt was passed on to the other person...

Hermione was feeling extremely uncomfortable. She sighed and shifted in her chair. Having a period was the worst thing about being a female as far as she was concerned. Another cramp plagued her, her internal muscles squeezing into knots. She hunched forward a little, trying to ease the aching soreness, and hoped the Potions teacher wouldn't notice. She bit her lip and seriously considered downing a potion to relieve the cramps. Usually she didn't need one and so didn't have any on hand, but she could always ask Madame Pomfrey. To even be considering dropping by after Potions was a testimony to the pain she was in. Normally, Hermione only took medication as a last resort.

Grimly, she gritted her teeth, dismissing the momentarily weakness. She spent the rest of the class distracted, anticipating the moment she could escape to her bed, and from there, to obliviousness.

"Class dismissed."

She gathered her books thankfully, wishing she could rush out of the classroom, but knowing that could probably result in a much undesired flood. Instead, she stood slowly and walked deliberately to the door, hoping against hope that he wouldn't say anything.

"Miss Granger."

She squeezed her eyes shut for just a second. "Yes?"

"I think you need this."

She took the potion, knowing without even looking what it was. Not trusting her voice, she gave a nod of thanks, and fled.

Tactfully, neither mentioned it, though each did occasionally question the reason Severus had given her the potion. The following weeks provided even more unpleasant revelations.

Severus found, to his eternal frustration, that some of his more cutting remarks lost their edge due to the fact that Hermione now knew exactly what he was, and wasn't feeling.

"Gryffindor Know-It-All."

She actually smiled. And was pleased at what had sounded, for all purposes, like an insult. Maybe he hadn't meant it as one, but she wasn't supposed to know that.

Hermione, on the other hand, found it extremely annoying that she could no longer hide her irritation. Not that she'd been trying too hard before to.

"Perfect." Severus put down Malfoy's potion. "Now if only everyone else could manage it."

Of course, Hermione thought to herself, even if others did manage perfection, he wouldn't acknowledge it. As if he could read her mind, he added, "No need to be jealous, Miss Granger."

Not that these in itself were very embarrassing, or cause for much horror. But when combined with the sudden acknowledgement that you had no privacy whatsoever, that everything you felt was subject to another's scrutiny, it was enough shrivel even the smallest of pleasures. For a time, both tried to block out the other and to keep their own feelings secret. This proved near impossible, and before long, both had given up the tiring, and useless, effort of trying. The very weaknesses they had feared to show soon became the ultimate weapons.