The Truth About Hermione Granger

Not long after Halloween, Hermione found herself in an abandoned room in the dungeons, being taught hand-to-hand combat by Gregory Goyle. Malfoy and Crabbe had both decided to moderate and were busy giving pointers to them as they worked.

"Do you mind?" said Goyle after a particularly long speech from Malfoy. "I'm the one's supposed to teach her, not you! You're doing curses!"

"All right, all right," said Malfoy, putting up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, go on."

"Right," said Goyle, turning back to Hermione. "Now, look, you've got your arms down again! Keep them up! Fists in front of your face. It wouldn't do to put a bruise on that pretty face of yours."

"Goyle, you're supposed to teach her how to fight, not flirt with her!" said Malfoy. "Besides, I thought you liked Ginny!"

"Ginny Weasley?" asked Hermione, dropping her arms again in surprise. She was rewarded with a slight bop on the nose.

"Never let your guard down," said Goyle, red-faced from Malfoy's comment. "That's the first lesson. You're lucky I didn't hit you full force!"

"Ginny doesn't deserve you, anyway," said Crabbe, sulking in the corner.

"Shut up, Crabbe!" said Malfoy. "You all right, Mione?"

"Yes," Hermione answered with a sneeze. "I'm fine. He didn't hit me that hard."

"All right, Hermione," said Goyle, glancing at Crabbe. "I'm going to throw some slow punches at you and I want you to block me, all right?"

"All right," she said, putting her hands back up. Goyle did as promised, going slow enough so she was sure to be able to block each and every one of his punches. Slowly, he increased the speed of his punches until Hermione struggled slightly to keep up. At that point, he stopped.

"Very good," he said. "I guess that's enough for today. But, I want to see you again in a week, okay?"

"Sure," she answered, allowing Malfoy to pull her from the room.

"Did you SEE that?" he asked as soon as they were out of earshot of the other two boys.

"See what?" asked Hermione, thoroughly confused.

"How Crabbe reacted when I mentioned Goyle's interest in Ginny Weasley!" he answered, a smirk planted firmly on his face. "I think he likes boys."

"Crabbe?" asked Hermione, surprised.

Draco snickered and nodded. "Sick, isn't it?" he asked.

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "No kidding!" she said. "You think he fancies Goyle?"

"I think so," he replied. "And, what's more, I think Goyle's started to fancy him back! It's so weird! If their dads find out, they'll be in deep trouble!"

"Their dads don't approve of that sort of behavior?" asked Hermione. She'd have thought that most of the Death Eaters would be pretty progressive in their thinking.

"No," said Draco. "They need to produce an heir and you can't do that the way they are."

Hermione only grinned. "Well, I wish them the best, no matter what happens," she said.

Draco grinned back at her. "Want to go practice charms?" he asked.

"I thought you were teaching me curses," she said.

"That's not the sort of 'charms' I was referring to," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

So, they found an empty classroom in which to be alone for a few minutes. It didn't last long though, because her father soon caught them and sent Hermione to her dorm while he kept Draco behind for 'a little chat,' as he put it. She waved sympathetically at Draco as she walked down the halls.

She hoped her father wouldn't be too hard on him.

* * * * * * * *

The next morning, Draco seemed very subdued as the two of them walked to the Great Hall together. He had been waiting for her outside of Gryffindor tower and when she stood on tip-toe to kiss him, he pulled away much too quickly. Finally, she asked him what was the matter.

"Your father thinks we've been shagging!" he finally told her after much prodding.

"He thinks WHAT?" she asked.

"That's what he said to me last night!" he replied. "He said 'I know you two have been shagging in the dungeons, and I don't like it!' Why does he think that, Mione?"

"I don't know, Draco," said Hermione, trying hard not to giggle.

"It's not funny!" he said. "I don't like people thinking I'm doing something that I'm not! It would be different if we WERE shagging, but I know as well as you do that we aren't!"

"I'll talk to him," she promised. "I'll see what he says."

"He'll say the same thing to you as he did to me," said Draco dejectedly.

"We'll see," she said, giving his hand a squeeze before heading to the Gryffindor table. She sat down by Harry and Ron, who asked her immediately about the amused grin plastered on her face.

"Oh, nothing," she told them. "Just something my father said about Draco. It was funny."

"What was it?" asked Ron.

"Never mind!" she said emphatically. "It's rather personal, but it was quite amusing. You see, it isn't true, yet he thinks it is! It's so funny!"

"Well?" prompted Harry. "Come on, Herm! Tell us! We want to laugh at Malfoy, too!"

"Then, I am certainly NOT telling you!" she said. "You don't need to laugh at him! Now leave it be!"

They did, asking instead about her hand-to-hand combat training with Goyle. She described to them the session, stressing Crabbe's reaction to Goyle's interest in Ginny.

"Goyle likes Ginny?" asked Harry, turning a bit red in anger. "He'd better just leave her alone!"

"Relax, Harry!" said Hermione. "Anyway, because of Crabbe's reaction, Draco thinks he may like boys, especially Goyle!"

"Crabbe likes Goyle?" asked Ron, wrinkling his nose. "Weird."

"I know," said Hermione. "Anyway, Draco says that their fathers would disapprove because they've each got to produce an heir and two boys can't have a child together."

"Unless they adopt," said Harry.

"Crabbe just doesn't seem that type!" insisted Ron. "I thought men who like men were always pansies... of sorts."

Hermione giggled at that. "Well, they aren't apparently," she said. "Anyway, I've got to practice curses tonight with Draco and my father insists on supervising. We'll see how that all goes. I hope I don't have to learn the Unforgivable curses yet."

"I'm sure you won't," said Harry.

Ron agreed.

But, right now, they had class to worry about, so Hermione didn't have any time to think about the Unforgivable curses.

* * * * * * * *

That night, though, she was forced to learn much worse than jelly legs and such curses she was used to. Draco taught her how to make someone's hair fall out, how to make a person fall off a cliff or down a long staircase, how to cause boils to appear on the skin and something called the Contortionist curse, which caused a person to twist up in knots.

Of course, she practiced all of these on frogs, so she didn't feel too bad about it. But when the frog twisted up and she heard it's bones crack, she nearly lost it. Quickly, though, four arms were around her and the two most important men in her life were squeezing her tight. By the time she finally calmed down, Draco had put the frog out of its misery and her father had made her a cup of tea.

"I told you it would be hard, poppet," he said.

"I believed you, really I did," she said. "But I guess I never realized just HOW hard it would be."

Draco slipped an arm around her shoulders. "It's all right, Mione," he said softly. "If it makes you feel any better, you get used to it."

She smiled weakly at him. "Thanks, Draco," she said. "It doesn't, but thanks for trying."

Her father made her drink the whole cup of tea then and when she was finally finished, Draco took the cup and saucer back to Snape's private rooms. As soon as he was gone, Hermione turned to her father.

"Why do you think Draco and I have been shagging?" she asked.

He seemed rather taken back by that, but answered quickly. "You think I haven't heard?" he asked. "You're very... noisy."

"But it isn't us!" she said, wondering briefly who it WAS. "It must be someone else! I swear, Draco's never touched me!"

Snape studied her for a moment, but had no time to respond because Draco came back into the room and sat next to her again. "You're okay, Mione?" he asked.

"I think so," she replied. "Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," he replied, kissing her cheek. "I think we've done enough curses for tonight. Shall I walk you to Gryffindor tower or did you want to stay here for a while?"

"I think I'll stay with my father," she replied.

Draco glanced at Snape, who only nodded and quickly, Draco left.

"Then who is it?" asked her father as soon as the door was closed behind Draco.

"Who is what?" she asked, thoroughly confused.

"Who is it that I've been hearing?" he asked. "I hate it when I have to spell it out for you!"

"Oh, that," she said. "I've no idea. They don't use names?"

"No, but I wish they would," he said. "I'd give them enough detention to last them a million years! Shagging in MY dungeons! Really!"

Hermione only smirked and lay her head on her father's shoulder. "Well, just be comforted that it isn't me!" she said. "Draco would never!"

"How do you know?" he asked. "After all, you don't know him as well as I do!"

Hermione thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose I DON'T know," she said finally.

"I do and I think he would," he said, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, daddy," she said. "If he ever touches anything he shouldn't be touching, I'll smack him!"

Snape chuckled at her. "Very good, poppet," he laughed. "That's all I ask."

Hermione sat there with her father, remembering when she used to sit like this with her other father, Richard Granger. She missed him, but she was very happy to still have a father. The only trouble was, she no longer had a mother. Who could she talk to about women's things? Sure, there was Professor McGonogal, but there were some things about which she just wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her head of house. She voiced this opinion to her father.

"Well, then, poppet," he said, stoking her hair. "I'll just have to do my best to be both father AND mother to you. That's the trouble most single parents have, and I suppose I'm no different. I'll try my best to understand, but perhaps you should find a mentor. I could help. Professor Goldwood is very understanding about things and she's really a very good listener. Perhaps she would be willing to listen now and then. Would you like me to ask her?"

The way he talked about her, though, caused Hermione to sit up and stare at him. He had never spoken highly of anyone that she could remember, yet here he was, speaking of a colleague as if she were the queen. "You don't fancy her, do you?" she asked suddenly.

"Certainly not!" he said sternly. "Just you go talk to her once and let's see you try to down-play what she is!"

Hermione thought she might just take him up on that. "Thanks, daddy," she said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

Her father walked her all the way to Gryffindor tower that night and when he hugged her before leaving, she caught sight of Neville Longbottom coming around the corner. When he saw Snape, though, he ducked back the way he came and didn't come to the common room until he was sure Snape was gone.

Some things would never change!