I Thought I Heard

I thought I heard you say you loved me. A faint whisper but still audible. I thought I heard you tell me you would be with me always, and never let me go.

I must have been mistaken.

Harry what have I done wrong? That you have abused and hurt my body so? Every inch of me still tingles with your enflamement. I can still feel you in me.... I want you back, to be back forever, to be mine, but you left.

What have I done to deserve this?

I watched your green eyes flare with passion, watched you move as wildly as an animal. I was so thrilled you were pleased with me, and I gave you everything I was. But it must not have been enough, you threw it all back at me.

Please, I miss your being.

I want to hold you once again, to feel you kissing my neck, to hear you whispering inside my ear. Or at least I thought you did. That cool night in October. Do you remember it?

We'd just returned from Hogsmeade. All the other students were fascinated with their candies, prank props and new toys. And you just kept watching me from the corner of the room. I was your new toy. You made it clear you wanted to play.

So you took me, oh so carefully at first. Coaxing me with your words, your promises, your lies. You made me believe you cared for me. Enveloping me in your voice's magic, your tone was so convincing.

And you took me out of the dormitory, past the wide-eyed Gryffindors. You took me through the corridors of our castle, all the while enriching me with glorious facts. I should have sensed the small talk. But I didn't and so we continued on through the grounds. Once, twice, three times, or maybe more, around and around the lake.

It started to get darker. You wanted to watch the sun sink lower in the sky. We went back up near the castle and huddled in a cloisture looking up. The sky changed hues of bright tangerine and hot pink, until it finally disappeared from view. You had taken me into your arms by then, I was so happy I felt I belonged.

It was then you made the suggestion. When all the world had went to sleep. You had seen the flickering candles in each of the windows switch off one by one. Your time was planned well. I fell for it.

Walking slowly past the Quidditch pitch you asked where I wanted to go. I said it didn't matter, as long as you were there. Stopping and looking around, your eyes lingered on the Forbidden Forest for a moment. You must have felt me tense up however because you quickly went the other way.

There was a room in the castle, you said, on the seventh story. A room that changed to fit itself to the will of the enterer. It was there that I was led. When you opened the door, I couldn't believe my eyes, the room was more beautiful than any I had ever seen in the castle before, or in my life! Rich scarlet banners rimmed the walls. Tapestries with intricate patterns covering magnificant obsidian marble. All in all it was a dream, and you were there.

Low noises emitted your lips at first. Only 'shushes' and breathing. I didn't make a sound. I let you take the lead. You were more delicate than I would have imagined, and removed my garments with such grace. In almost an instant I stood bare. And then you told me to follow suit.

Soon enough your tight body was pressed lightly onto mine. Motioning me across the room and onto the softer surface. You put me under the covers, you climbed back over me and began to embrace me all over. I loved it.

I loved you.

It happened so quickly I barely had time to prepare, and it hit swiftly, deeply and hard. My soul burned, your flesh so warm it radiated. It lasted forever, and I never wanted it to stop, but as every fire we eventually both burned out.

It was then, right there at that moment in the room on the seventh floor in October.

You pulled me closer and tucked my head near your shoulder. And you said it, you whispered it into my ear.

And I believed.

Damn I was so foolish! To think that you hadn't ever recognized me once, yet this one time I meant the world? I should have seen that it was bullshit. I should not have been so easily manipulated. Damn you and your beautiful face, I want to see it smashed!

I will smash it myself if I have to! But no.... No I can't, you've run away. I've been left to wither in agony. My body violated and my soul torn.

So instead I sit and wait and weep. Because I know you will never come back for me.