Draco's Song

Where once was light,
now darkness falls.

Where once was love,
love is no more.

I look down at the body. I am aware somehow that many years ago, when I had first met the man who now lays life-less at my feet, that young boy I had once been, would have been shocked to see a dead body. Possibly even more shocked that he had killed someone and was now looking at their dead body. But I'm a man now, and this older, battle hardened, and scarred me does not seem to care. I have seen this type of thing, killed people like this more than once. Why should it affect me now? Yet somewhere inside of me, deep down in the darkness that once upon a time was my heart, I know this one was different. This was Harry Potter. I, Draco Malfoy, have done what my even my master, Voldemort, couldn't do and killed the boy who lived.

I see Hermione, who I once loved more than anything, run up to his body. She doesn't notice me as she drapes herself over him and weeps. Doesn't hear my footsteps when I walk up behind her. But she jumps when she feels my hand on her shoulder, and I feel her tremble as she turns around and gazes in fear at my face. But she can't see my face, it is hidden behind shadows and black fabric. She can only see my dark cloak and part of me is grateful. She stands, grabs her wand, and points it at me. "Remove your hood, now! I'm not afraid to kill you! Take it off!" I hear her yell at me. Though she says she is not afraid, she is still trembling and I know she does not want to have to take another life. So I do as she says, I take off my hood. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the tiny voice of a young Draco begs her to recognize me and not kill me. But the voice doesn't get its wish, and at first she doesn't seem to recognize me. I know what it is I should do, but I can't. This is the woman I love and I can't kill her, but I also can't leave her here, like this, to try and follow me or kill me. I make my decision and, as I pull out my wand to curse her, her eyes brighten and I hear her whisper. But the whisper is mingled with my curse. "Petrificus Totalus!" I say, and I can't be sure what she said. Could it really have been...

"Malfoy?"

Don't say goodbye.
Don't say I didn't try.

These tears we cry,
are falling rain

For all the lies you told us,
the hurt, the blame.

And we will wait
to be so alone.

We are lost,
We can never go home.

I am at his funeral now. I know that she is here, but there are so many people that it would be a miracle if she found me. They all want to be here, they all want to say they were at the famous Harry Potter's funeral! And sure, some of them will say they were at the battle, that they saw him die, and they saw who killed him. Only two people can disprove these misguided peoples claim. Me, the murderer, and her. I sit through the ceremony, trying to look as sad as the next bloke. But I can't, and I know that, and the witch next to me knows that, the man speaking knows that, too. I catch Hermione's eyes from across the room, and she knows it now, too. Worse, she knows who I am, and that I killed him. "Why, Hermione?" I think. "You know what I'll have to do to you now, and I don't want to do it but you brought it on yourself. You just had to be the hero and see the face of the man who did it, didn't you? Please, let it alone and don't make me have to take your life."

I see her stand now, walk up to the podium they have put up for the funeral. She is going to make a speech. She looks at me, and I can see in her eyes what she is going to do. I mouth the words, "Don't do it Hermione." She raises a single eyebrow as if to ask, "Why not?" I smile and wink at her. She knows what it means and frowns. "Don't say I didn't try to save you. Tell them, and the next funeral is yours. Tell them, and its good-bye Hermione."

She doesn't tell them. Her speech goes as she wrote it, or so far as I can tell. She stares at me through the entire speech, though. I don't hear what she is saying, but somehow I know what she is thinking. She is thinking of Harry, of the many years they spent together as husband and wife. And she is thinking of me when I was younger, when we both had lives ahead of us, and possibly lives together. I see her start to cry. Not for Harry, not for herself, but for me. In that moment I know that she has realized that this was her doing. That she had left me and forced me to the dark side. She had killed the great Harry Potter through the hands and actions of another. And the little boy she once knew and fell in love with could never return to her and the life they might have had together. He was gone from her world forever and he could never come back. Not now, not after this.

So in the end,
I'll be what I will be,

No loyal friend,
was ever there for me.

Now we say goodbye,
we say you didn't try.

The funeral was over, and I tried to leave as soon as I could, to get away before she could find me and see again the hideous and unfeeling person I have become. But somehow, she does find me. I should have known. She could always find me. She grabs my arm, pokes her wand into my side, out of sight of everyone else so that I know she can kill me but the people standing next to me don't. She pulls me away from the crowd and into an empty room. She closes the door and stares at me.

"Draco? Is it you?...it can't be..."she says as many tears stain her beautiful cheeks.

"Stop crying, woman. Draco is dead. He died years ago."

"But-"

"No. I know what you're going to say. Don't."

"But when did he..."

"Die?"

"Yes."

"He died when you left him, Hermione. When he joined the Dark Lord. When he killed his own family, as were the wishes of his master. When he saw you marrying that twit Potter. All those times and more, Hermione. A piece of him died every time. He even died with Harry. Then you came in, saw me. I don't want to have to kill you too, Hermione. If you die, so will everything I have ever known and loved." I say. We both know the weight and emotions these words carry, but my voice stays calm and even as if I were talking to her about kitchen tiles.

She drops her wand, and runs over to throw her arms around me. I can feel her sobbing into my shoulder, but I don't react. I am as still as before she did this, and eventually she pulls away and stares at my face, searching for someone who isn't there. I can't help but laugh inside at the large tears that continue to pour from her eyes.

These tears you cry,
have come too late.

Take back the lies,
the hurt, the blame.

"Draco," she sobs, "I know your still in there. I don't..." She begins to cry harder now and buries her face in my chest as her hands clutch at my arms. I can barely make out her muffled words as the travel to my ears. "I love you, Draco. No matter what you do I love you."

Disgusted, I throw her off of me. She screams in pain as she hits the corner of a table, and I see a tiny streak of crimson on the wood. I pull out my wand and point it at her chest. She tilts her face up and her eyes meet mine. I see grief there, regret, unshed tears for a lost love. But mostly I see fear. "You don't!" I say, my words finally holding the emotions they express, "Take it back. You've hurt me enough, Hermione. You killed him. If you hadn't hurt me, he would be alive and you know it! If you had really loved me, none of this would have happened! You don't love me, and even if you did, do you think it would really save you?"

"Draco, I-- "

"Avada Kedavra!"

And you will wake
when you face the end alone.

You are lost,
you can never go home.

So that was it. I'd done it. I had destroyed the only two people who could make me human again. But I guess it wasn't meant to be, I had strayed to far from that path to ever return. I loved her more than life, and he could have been like a brother to me. Now they are gone, taken from this earth by my hands, and I am here telling you this story. Don't repeat my mistakes. Life can never be as it was, and now I only see her in my dreams. I wish I could return to her, but it shall never be so. Even in death, only she could ever make me feel this lost and alone. I have no home to return to, and I can only blame myself.

You are lost, you can never go home