Once in a Blue Moon

CHAPTER FOUR

Remus looked like a caged animal. He paced restlessly back and forth in the Shrieking Shack; anger, resentment, and fear evident in every step. He compulsively licked his lips as his eyes darted around the room like dragonflies. He had long since removed his shirt and slacks, causing sweat to bead and drip down his bare, wiry chest to the dirt-covered floor. (He couldn't afford to bring more attention to himself by having the House elves fruitlessly try to mend diced clothing). Backing himself into a dark, drafty corner, Remus sat quietly on his hunches. His watch said 10:50 PM. James, Sirius, and Peter would be around here shortly. And so would the wolf.

"Shouldn't be long now," Remus inhaled sharply. "Let's just get this over with." The moon was hidden behind a patch of gray clouds. He could feel the wolf nudging and pawing at the edge of his consciousness, keenly waiting for release as pale streams of silver moonlight filtered through the tattered curtains.

He hated himself. He hated himself for being weak; for giving into the animal part of him that was tearing away at his insides. He wanted to be strong; he wanted to fight it; he wanted to be normal. Remus kicked, and screamed, and yelled with the primal, frustrated fury of a desperate man at the brink of despair. He cursed himself and his abominable existence as a creature that no one could love. The thought of killing himself and ending his suffering flashed across his mind like a bolt of lightening. What did he have to live for anyway? Lyca.

Remus sighed, gripping a loose piece of broken wood tightly with both hands. He knuckles turned white and his palms began to bleed. He didn't care. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the memories of Lyca that drifted languidly in and out of his mind: the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips, her soft fingers caressing the back of his neck, her crystal eyes staring at him with the same hope and desire he desperately felt. Then he opened his eyes and reality came crashing down on him like the weight of a Hungarian Horntail.

He didn't deserve her. You didn't deserve that kiss either, he thought to himself. But that didn't stop you from liking it. He threw the bloodied piece of wood across the room; as if throwing it away would rid him of Lyca's scent. She was everywhere: her essence permeated the shack like it filled the gaping hole in his heart. "Go away," he whispered, fighting back a flood of tears. "Please. It's easier to be alone."

The full moon broke through the clouds with a silent vengeance. Remus gasped as an unseen force punched him in the gut. Remus doubled-over in pain, barking and growling in an indecipherable language of teeth and blood. His legs and spine twisted and elongated in unnatural ways, causing him rest on all fours. The skin on his hands and feet had hardened into padded soles, and thick claws the size of Snidgets protruded from his fingertips. His jaw widened exponentially, revealing rows of jagged teeth dripping with spit. Sinew and bone stretched and grew to immense proportions, and hair sprouted like weeds from tough, gray skin.

The pupils of his yellow eyes narrowed into slits, and he sniffed the air with a ferocious hunger. Sights and sounds he never even imagined as a human invaded his senses. He could hear the sound a heart beating wildly: a hummingbird trapped in a ribcage. Surprised...something here...apples and cinnamon...animal...blood, sweat, and tears...it's scared...I'm HUNGRY. Wolf-Remus advanced on the poor, defenseless creature, and was satisfied as teeth met bone and it wriggled in pain and fear.