Dungeon

Chapter 6 - The Lesser Evil

The dreaded day arrived: Harry’s Friday Legilimency session. He was starting to understand it when people said things about nervous breakdowns. Harry was willing to believe one was right around the corner for him. His insides melted, went rigid, then melted again everytime he looked ahead to that evening. At least his eye hadn't started twitching yet. He couldn't believe that some students were sitting around laughing, enjoying butterbeers, right this minute.

Harry would have waited until right on the hour to knock, except some Slytherins had slowed to look at him standing before the door to Snape's office. He knocked rather than bear their scrutiny.

"Come in, Potter," Snape's voice said sharply.

Harry entered, trying to keep his hand from shaking as he released the door knob. Leaving the door open would be worse than shutting it. He shut it. Snape sat at his desk, watching him enter and take a seat. His eyes narrowed as he continued to observe Harry.

"Do you want to postpone this session?" Snape asked finally in his most neutral tone. Harry shook his head. That would definitely not help. "Potter, the headmaster informed me that he told you the rules he laid down."

Harry nodded again and took the visitor’s chair. Snape went on, "All you have to do is tell me you wish to leave and you may leave."

Harry, bolstered by some control being handed to him, sat up a little straighter. He heard something out in the hall and turned to look for shadows under the door. Instead he saw the string from an extendable ear snaking into the room. Harry held up his hand for Snape to stop and pointed at the floor.

Snape stood and leaned over his desk. He saw the string and gave Harry a questioning look. Harry tugged his ear and pointed at the string. "Fred and George," he mouthed silently. Snape rolled his eyes then thought a moment.

"You handled the Headmaster very well, Potter," Snape commented.

Harry cast about quickly. "He likes me. That makes it easy."

"He isn't going to like you much if he finds out what has been going on."

"He won't believe it."

"Probably true. Come here, Harry."

Harry jumped in surprise. Snape was a master of tone of voice, and some voices Harry wasn't used to hearing, including that one. He stood up and walked around the desk only because he feet seemed willing to obey even if his brain wasn't.

Snape held up one finger for him to hold his place a few feet away. Suddenly he bumped the first desk drawer with his hand, making it slam into place with a thud. Then he kissed the back of his own hand noisily for a long moment.

Harry couldn't watch or he would break out laughing, especially when a stifled gasp could be heard from the other side of the office door.

"Perhaps we should move to the next room?" Snape suggested.

Harry, bolstered by amusement, opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. The lamps flared automatically. Snape closed the door, whipped out his wand, and spelled it many different ways.

"A Imperturbable charm will stop it," Harry informed him.

Snape added that one as well, then put his wand away. "Let’s try a little experiment. See if you can discern who is in the hallway.”

Harry closed his eyes and imagined what the hallway looked like, but that didn't work. No, it worked by already knowing who, then reaching that person. Harry suspected Malfoy. He imagined Malfoy and reached very carefully outward after partitioning his own mind. Malfoy's rage struck him and he nearly fell over. Snape caught his arm and held him upright.

"I think he has come unhinged," Harry said.

Snape released him. "You mean Draco Malfoy? He has been like that since the end of last year. His father's arrest has been very hard on him. Mr. Malfoy is a very strict guardian, and I believe Draco is at a loss as to how to cope with his newfound freedom. More to the point, he had been looking to me more this term as a substitute, and you have taken that away form him.” Snape paused then asked, “Can you tell who else is there?"

"I can't work it that way. I have to guess and then see what that person is doing."

"That makes sense. Try Parkinson."

Harry closed his eyes and imagined being her. He tried for almost two minutes before giving up. "I don't think I know her well enough."

"Again, that makes sense. Well, Potter, at the risk of violating the school code, let us try a little bit more of this and consider it your lesson."

They sat down in the room's two straightbacked chairs and Harry tried a few other members of Slytherin, then Snape suggested some of Harry's friends. Harry shook his head. "I want to warn them before I do that."

"You don’t give Slytherins the same consideration?" Snape prodded him.

"That is the difference between friends and enemies, isn't it?" Harry commented dryly.

Snape sat in silence, watching Harry a long while. Finally, he said, "How are you feeling, Potter?"

Harry tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. "Awful. I haven't been able to eat all day, if that gives you any indication."

"It is not my intent to torment you."

"I know and that makes it worse," Harry said right back. "Intentional torment is something I could push back against."

"You should go, Potter. Stop by the kitchens for a tray from the house elves and go up to your dormitory."

"No," Harry said firmly. "I said I would see this through and I meant it." Harry's stomach complained at the notion of food. "You think they'd bring a tray down here?"

"Shall I ply you with food, then?" Snape asked in an odd voice.

"Please don't ruin eating for me," Harry snapped. "Sir."

"I must say, Potter, you are nearly identical to your father, which annoys me no end. But you have a very different sense of humor, which almost makes your presence palatable."

Harry considered that twisted compliment and resisted accepting it. "That crack you made, Professor, about my parents, wasn't called for," Harry reminded him in an angry voice.

"I am in a different mode in the classroom than here, Potter. Not quite as careful."

"Are you apologizing?" Harry asked.

"Perhaps. But there is a reason for my continuing to be cruel to you in front of the school. It keeps any rumors at bay that may try to spread too far." Snape crossed his arms and shifted in his chair. "Anyway, I would think you would be over that by now."

"Oh, like you’re over things that happened just as long ago," Harry retorted sarcastically. "Sir."

Snape flicked his fingernail in anger. "Point taken." He gave Harry a piercing look. "So if you are staying, let us get this over with, shall we."

Now it felt like his Professor was being deliberately blunt. Harry's stomach dropped out of him but he stood up, then stalled by setting the chair neatly back against the wall. He was already shaking again by the time he approached the end of Snape’s bed.

Snape looked him up and down. "Anytime you wish to leave, Potter, you may do so, up to the starting point, of course."

"I know that. I also know that you are trapping me with my pride every time you say it."

"You are trapping yourself then," Snape observed.

Harry jerked his robe over his head and started to reach for his shirt buttons.

"Leave it on, perhaps." Snape gestured that Harry should lie down. He didn't want to tell Potter that the Dark Lord had found them very entertaining last time. It worried him enough for the both of them, he was certain.

Harry laid back on top of the covers and stroked his hair back several times to calm himself down. "Let's go. Whenever," Harry breathed.

Snape stretched out beside him, but not touching, and propped his head up on his hand. He looked Harry over with an almost bored expression. At Harry's look of annoyance, Snape said, "We have to wait for a chance--for an audience, you might say."

Harry growled at that.

"Say something funny, Potter in that bizarre sense of humor of yours," Snape finally said after a long pause.

"You think it's bizarre?"

"Since it clashes so with what I expect from you most of the time, yes."

"Okay.” Harry considered, then said, ”How about : why am I hungry because the least I could expect is a nice dinner before you got me into bed?"

Snape looked levelly at him and gamely replied, "How about afterward? The Golden Candle in Hogsmeade is open late. It received three wands in this year's Broomguides."

Harry laughed despite himself as he tried to picture that. "I'll stop by the kitchens, thanks."

Snape's voice shifted into a much less usual one. Darker. Deeper. "Are you ready?"

"Not strictly speaking, but ready enough," Harry said as his heart started to pound loudly in his ears.

Snape took a deep breath and reached for the top button of Harry's shirt. "Now," he whispered in that voice that sounded like honeydukes chocolate melting.

Harry swallowed at that image and turned his head to the side away from Snape, so he didn't have to close his eyes.

Eventually, his shirt fell open. Harry wondered how he was ever going to feel like this could be normal if, and when, he managed to get someone to go snogging. He tried to pretend Snape was Cho, but that wasn't really possible. Snape shifted to lean over him and Harry met his eyes for an instant. He hoped his expression was at least vaguely in context.

Snape lowered himself over Harry and again hot breath bathed Harry's neck; it felt as though electricity were being applied to his spine. He arched despite himself and met Snape's hands, which pressed him back down firmly as though to keep him in line.

The slow exploration continued, and Harry realized with a stab of panic that this was dragging out longer than the last time. His overly-stimulated imagination fed him the notion that maybe Voldemort was asking for more. It was reinforced when Snape moved down to his chest, his breath alternately heating and chilling him.

Snape stopped and let his forehead rest on Harry's breastbone. When he raised his head again he was shaking it. "He thinks I am being selfish," he said with an expression of dismay. "For cutting him off. Better than the alternative, I suppose." He sat up but still leaned over Harry.

Harry exhaled in relief. "Can I get up then?"

Snape sat straight and crossed his arms. Harry considered him closely for the first time that evening. He looked pensive although he also looked a little better than normal, as though he had washed his hair or something. The thought that Snape had dolled up a bit made Harry chuckle as he reached for his glasses. "Sorry, this is striking me as humorous for some reason," he explained.

"Better than terrorized, Potter."

"Yeah," Harry admitted. He rubbed his scar unconsciously. "Do you think this is working?"

"Unfortunately, I know it is working."

Harry looked sharply at him. "He wants more, doesn't he?"

"Is your mind clear, Harry?" Snape asked him suddenly, almost suspiciously.

"Yes. I’m just guessing." Harry picked up his shirt and put it back on, then stood and picked up his robe where he had dumped it.

"Do you need anything?" Snape asked, moving to the door to unseal it. When Harry shook his head, Snape offered, "A potion for sleeping, perhaps?"

Harry rubbed his neck. "Sure, that’s probably a good idea."

Snape stepped into his office and checked the floor before sealing the outer door with a few charms. He dug around in a cupboard near his desk and handed Harry a small bottle. "That is one dose," he said. "Why don't you take a seat, I want to try something else. As well, it is a little too soon for you to leave."

Harry smoothed out his robe and sat down in the chair facing the desk. He felt numb, isolated from reality. He hadn't felt this way since he was ten and living with the Dursleys full time.

Snape lowered himself into his own chair and sized Harry up. "I want to see how strong a Legilimens you are. I am going to blank my thoughts and I want you to try to reach me."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes.

Snape said, "I will tell you when to start." The Potions master composed his mind and eventually said, "Go."

Harry imagined himself as Snape, which had gotten a lot easier in the last week. It took over a minute but he gasped when he found he was staring at himself sitting with his back to the dark wooden office door. Harry opened his eyes and the vision immediately dissolved.

Snape shook his head slowly. "You are better at that than the Dark Lord."

Harry frowned. "I know you better," he suggested.

Snape was still shaking off his surprise. "Perhaps." He flicked his fingernails a few times as he looked at them. "Ask your close friends for their permission to practice on them. This is a skill that should not be wasted, and we have many things to try."

###########

"Boy, Malfoy really gives you looks now," Hermione whispered to Harry as they arrived at Potions. "It is getting worse."s

"He sees me leaving my lessons and doesn't like his Head of House spending time with me, I think," Harry hedged.

Malfoy tugged on the back of Harry's robe. Snape hadn't arrived yet, so Harry was on his own. "What do you want?" Harry asked darkly after spinning around challengingly.

Malfoy leaned in close and said in a low voice, "I want to know why you are doing this? How you managed it?" He backed off and stood more cockily. "I told on you the first chance I got. Master looked very pleased.”

Harry tried to look stunned. He was stunned that Draco had such good access to Voldemort. "Can't imagine he'd care," Harry said dismissively.

Malfoy laughed and backed off, then glared at Harry before chuckling darkly again.

Snape entering the room put a stop to Malfoy's incursion into unofficial Gryffindor space. The blonde boy spun on his toe and marched to his own table, with Snape's eyes tracking him. Snape met Harry's gaze evenly for an instant before he started the day's lecture.

When they started brewing and everyone started talking amongst their tablemates, Hermione whispered, "What was Malfoy on about? You sounded like you understood that."

"I was guessing. I don't know what he thought was so funny."

"He scares me now," Hermione commented.

Harry didn't like the look of his potion halfway through brewing. "Drat," he muttered. "Hermione, what am I doing wrong here?"

"This is an insect wing base, Harry. I think you have it too hot and are damaging the potion structure." She sounded like a teacher herself.

Harry shook his head at her grasp of this and tapped his wand to cool it down.

"Well, Potter, looks like another wasted day in potions for you," Snape commented dryly.

Harry shot him a frustrated look. "Don't wand it away, Professor. I am still working on it," he insisted. Snape gave him a very dubious look and Harry really wanted to peek inside his head to see what would fix the potion. He looked away to read his notes again in order to distract himself from attempting it.

"No help, Granger," Snape said snarkily to Hermione. She shook her head.

"Tell me, Potter, are there any classes in which you do well, or is this the best you can manage?"

Harry banked his anger. At least Snape hadn't dragged his parents into it. "No, sir, this is definitely my worst class." Lowering the temperature seemed to have helped the color and thickness of Harry's potion. He dropped in extra gnats’ wings since they were the smallest and would break down quickest.

"Hmmf," Snape huffed and moved on to the next table.

On their way from Potions, Harry pulled his friend aside. "Hermione, I need to ask you something. For my Legilimency lessons, I need to have a target mind to work with. Would you mind terribly if I used yours?"

Hermione gaped at him a moment. "All the time?" she asked.

"No, no. Just during my lessons. I won't tell Snape anything that I see that you wouldn't want him to know, obviously. It is just that I have been using Malfoy and he is really deranged."

"Is that maybe why he is deranged?" Hermione asked sharply, horrified.

"He doesn't know it is happening and you might not either. You are learning how to block me out in DA so this would be a chance to practice."

She didn’t look very convinced, but she said, "All right, Harry. But only during lessons, okay?"

"Of course," Harry insisted.

They were walking now in the corridor leading to the fat lady. They stopped and let some others pass out of hearing. In a low voice, Hermione said, "I have a question for you, Harry, since we are on the topic of secrets. Since my 'memory charm,' which very few people know the truth about, I am seeing conspiracies everywhere. Is something going on with you and Professor Snape beyond your lessons? A few of the Slytherins are saying some things. . . ."

Harry looked at her. He had no desire to lie to Hermione, of all people, but things were safer when fewer people knew and, frankly, he couldn't take her outpouring of horror and sympathy. "Malfoy is jealous of me spending that much time with his Head of House. I think that’s where that rumor got started," was all Harry said.

"So you have heard it."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Malfoy has been on like you saw him in Potions for a while."

She adjusted her bookbag and looked pained. "Harry, don't get into anything over your head, okay? Promise?"

"I'll certainly try not to." He started walking to the Fat Lady to end the conversation and his friend followed, falling silent. Harry felt worse than he expected about not telling her the truth.