Dungeon

Chapter 4 - Necessary Secrets

That night in the darkened hospital wing, Harry watched as Pomfrey, sitting in a chair by the door, nodded off. He slipped out of bed and over to Hermione. "Hey," he whispered. In the darkness she grabbed his hand.

"This faking is easy but I can see I am going to hate classes like this. What am I going to say to Percy?" she asked fearfully.

"You have it easy. Just keep saying you don't know." Harry looked over at Pomfrey. "I want to get stories straight. I hope Dumbledore shows up to tell me what the official version is. Or even Snape."

They talked quietly, until Harry heard the door creak. He looked over and watched as a robed figure reached in and waved something under Pomfrey's nose. She slouched even more in her sleep and Snape stepped into the ward.

"You don't trust Pomfrey?" Harry asked as their professor came over.

"One of the mistakes the Order made last time was in trusting too many people at a time. The Order tried to be open where others were closed. It resulted in a lot of unnecessary deaths. The opposite is now practiced: need to know only."

Snape sat down and explained precisely what events they were going to describe if questioned. By the time they finished and Snape seemed assured they knew their part, Harry’s head was nodding to his chest. As soon as Snape left, he dropped back onto his bed, asleep at once.

Harry was released the next morning from the hospital wing even though he didn't really want to abandon Hermione. Percy Weasley accosted him on the second corridor he came to.

"Mr. Weasley!" McGonagall's voice rang out as she stalked toward them from the staircase. Percy flinched despite himself. "Take your turn!" she declared and hauled Harry off to her office.

Harry took a seat in the visitor's chair as indicated and fell into a passive posture with a defiant look in his eyes. "I am not going to apologize, Professor, so you can skip ahead to the punishment part."

"And what punishment do you think is fair?" she asked him in a serious tone. She sat on the edge of her desk with her arms crossed, peering at him through her rectangular glasses. "I do not liking being disobeyed."

Harry frowned. "A term's detention seems likely, but maybe only a month so I can play Quidditch?" Harry pleaded.

"Tell me what happened to Ms. Granger and I will consider it."

Harry paused at that and studied her. Was he now in the know and not other members of the Order? Snape's comment last night came back to him, making him guess that she wasn’t to know. He blinked at her. "I goofed up. I tried to create a distraction, but it didn’t work completely, and one of the Death Eaters got a shot in on her. Why they used that spell, I don't know."

"I suspect I do," McGonagall commented in a hard tone.

"It wasn't Professor Snape," Harry insisted. "He was falling for my diversion intentionally to lead the others away. But the two cloaked ones came at us, and while I was fighting them, one got a shot in on Hermione." Harry said this very sadly. This was roughly the story they were all going to tell, one as close to the truth as possible with the necessary additions.

McGonagall sighed. "Well, let's hope she eventually recovers fully," she said. "A month's detention then, Potter."

Harry stood up, then immediately sat back down. "Thank you, Professor. And do you mind if I stay here until Percy goes away?"

"You may stay until class, but you will miss breakfast."

Harry frowned at that. His stomach complained about missed meals from yesterday.

"Go to breakfast, Potter.” She stood and opened her office door, gesturing for him to depart. “If you can get rid of Percy Weasley, I'll take a week off your detention."

Harry jumped up at that and dashed out. Percy was waiting for him just down the corridor from McGonagall's door. "I will speak with you now, Potter."

Harry sighed about missing yet another meal and followed his friend's brother to the staff conference room. Percy had two male assistants with him: one tall and imposing and the other plump and rosy cheeked. Harry took a seat across from them all. Just as the door was closing, Dumbledore opened it again and peered in at the assemblage. "I insist that a staff member be present if Harry is to be questioned," he stated.

Percy looked extremely unhappy about that. "He is sixteen. He can represent himself."

"While he is at my school, he is my responsibility. The last time the Ministry came to question him, it got a little rough, as I recall." Dumbledore closed the door softly behind him and took a seat beside Harry, peering over his spectacles at Percy.

"Tell me what happened," Percy snapped at Harry. The plump assistant poised his quill over a long scroll, looking expectant.

Harry recounted his modified tale, avoiding the Headmaster's gaze completely so as to not appear to be in collusion. When he was finished, Percy took the notes from the transcriber and glanced over them. "And your punishment for your extreme disobedience to the adults charged with your care?" Percy asked, almost Snape-like.

"A month's detention," Harry replied. He glanced at Dumbledore finally and found a note of sympathy in the old wizard's eyes.

"And I cannot question the girl?" Percy said sarcastically to Dumbledore, who kindly shook his head.

"Her name is Hermione--you know her," Harry pointed out.

Percy pretended to ignore Harry’s assertion and stood up with a flushed face. As he stalked out, he said, "You will receive a copy of the report, Headmaster. Jeeves, Rankin, let's go."

The door closed.

Harry grinned. "Make that three weeks’ detention," he said.

"Detention is not supposed to be bartered, Harry," Dumbledore said.

"Talk to my Head of House, sir," Harry quipped.

*******************

The next day in classes, the students treated Harry with some kind of awed distance. He had no idea what story was circulating since he hadn't told any of his friends what had happened. Ron was still grumpy and not giving Harry more than one-word answers to things. His visit to Hermione hadn’t improved his mood, making Harry realize that basically no one else was going to find out the truth about the memory charm. When Harry thought about it more, it made him feel more secure to realize that, but it pained him to think about Ron worrying unnecessarily.

Ron trudged behind Harry to go to classes; apparently his despair didn't negate his need for company.

As they sat down in McGonagall's class, Harry said for what felt like the tenth time, "Ron, the charm will get better, and she will be more like her own self. Really." He looked around and realized that the entire room was listening to them. Harry gave them a helpless frown and put his head down over his parchment to carefully write the lesson title and date at the top. Hermione would kill him if his notes were not up to her standards. He felt isolated from everyone in a way he was not used to. Everyone was upset and uneasy over something that wasn't true, but only he knew it. Harry vowed to have patience with Ron. As soon as Hermione was allowed to seem more normal, in about four to five days, Ron would chirp up, Harry was certain.

The next evening, Harry went up to Dumbledore's office for his lesson. The office was changed around when he arrived. Curtains were pulled over the portraits, and Fawkes' cage had a slipcover over it. The desk was much smaller to make room for a gaudy, overstuffed couch.

Dumbledore stood up from his desk. "Right on time, Harry." He moved over to the couch and gestured for Harry to sit beside him. As he did so, Dumbledore put his arm around him easily. "Are you getting on all right?" he asked.

Harry gave in and leaned into the old wizard. If asked just moments before whether he was above this, he would have insisted he was. But part of him apparently needed some comfort. "It is all right,” Harry said. “It is strange to know everything is all right when no one else does."

"You understand the need for that?"

"Oh, yes. It makes me feel better knowing it, at the same time as it makes me feel strange. Ron is really mad at me, but I'm not sure if it’s because I tricked him into drinking both drugged butterbeers or because he thinks I slipped up and let Hermione get injured."

"You knew the butterbeers were tainted, how?"

Harry shrugged. "McGonagall was acting suspicious."

"You didn't use any Legilimency?" Dumbledore asked him, his hand squeezing Harry's arm a moment.

"I don't think so." Harry thought back. "I'm not sure."

"I think, Harry," Dumbledore finally said, "that we need you to be fully skilled in both arts of the mind. I have arranged with Professor Snape to teach you Legilimency while I continue to teach you Occlumency. Is that all right?"

Harry nodded into Dumbledore’s shoulder and suppressed a grimace.

"Good.” The old wizard squeezed Harry’s arm again. “You will have two nights a week with Professor Snape and one with me."

"Wow, that’s a lot of nights. Can it count as my detention? Otherwise I won't get any schoolwork done."

"Certainly, Harry. As well, when Quidditch season starts, we can adjust as needed."

Harry relaxed. He hadn't slept long enough the last two nights and, as he leaned his head against Dumbledore, he felt sleep coming up on him fast. The old wizard shifted his arm to pull Harry closer. "You know, Harry, something I didn't tell you at the end of last year, I feel I should confess to you now."

"Mm?" Harry said groggily. Dumbledore gently pulled Harry’s glasses off and set them aside.

"I considered taking you in, rather than leaving you with your aunt and uncle. I probably could have protected you from those who would have tried to take revenge on you as well as the spell I placed on your mother’s sister. But I could not see how I could arrange it to be fair to you at all. The demands on my time are always so great." Dumbledore set his own glasses aside and leaned back so as not to wake Harry. "I wonder now what it would have been like to have you as a son," he said quietly and patted Harry's unruly hair once. Harry continued to snore softly.

***************************

Harry woke up, dazed. He was pressed against a warm robe, which was really strange. "Headmaster?" he said as he sat up and tried to find his glasses.

"You were quite tired, Harry," Dumbledore admonished him gently, handing him his glasses.

Harry winced at the thought that he had been napping so. "I was up half the night arguing with Ron," Harry admitted. Then he looked at the clock, amazed that over an hour had passed. "Oh!" Harry exclaimed. "I'm sorry, Professor--I’m late for a DA meeting."

"Go on then, Harry, by all means.” He gave Harry a pat on the back.

Harry stretched and ran his fingers through his hair, then stood and straightened his robes.

"Remember to schedule two evenings with Professor Snape," Dumbledore reminded him as he reached the door.

"Yes, sir," Harry said and with a light blush, went out.

In the Room of Requirement, the students were practicing last meeting's drills. "Sorry I'm late. My meeting with the Headmaster ran a little long."

"Do we have a plan for today?" Cho asked.

"Yes. Yes, we do. Just give me a minute."

"Ron said you were getting Occlumency lessons," Cho commented.

Harry glanced at Ron, who shrugged and looked away. Harry nodded. "Yes, and they are tiring. Give me a minute or two, okay?" he requested and headed over to the counter that ran along below the bookshelves that lined one wall. He leaned hard on it and closed his eyes. This thing with Dumbledore had shaken him up. Ignoring the rest of the students, who were now whispering to give him some privacy, Harry took his time and felt his way around his feelings. He found longing and fear tugging him in opposite directions. He stood up and turned to face his friends.

"We are going to do rejuvenation charms today because, as we found out, getting your fellow wizard off their butt and fighting again is important."

"Can you teach us Occlumency sometime?" Cho asked.

Harry stared at her and then looked around at the other eager faces. "Sure, we can work on that. It takes a ton of time to learn and a lot of self-loathing before you get there, but sure. We can start next meeting. Think about who in this room you would be willing to partner with. Who you would be willing to have know every last thing about you: good, bad, embarrassing, painful, spiteful. You get the idea. If you still want to work on it, we will."

They stared at him.

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge and if I don't get control, I'm going to be a hazard to everyone."

"What does that mean?" Dean asked.

"It means that if I let my emotions get out of control, Voldemort could take me over and kill you all if he felt like it," Harry commented, eyes still closed.

"Harry!" Ron yelled at him.

"Hey," Harry retorted and opened his eyes. "You are the one who told them I had Occlumency lessons."

Ron stepped over to him. "Yeah, but I didn't tell them why!"

"They'd have figured it out. It makes me feel better to tell you all. I've been dishonest to hide it. He shook himself and changed the subject. Let's get started. Anyone feel like leaving, please feel free."

No one moved but they all did look a little stunned.

Ginny piped up. "Harry, we are ready to learn something."

He gave her a smile and stepped over to them. None of them moved away, although there were a few looks of pity that bothered him.

*************************

The next day, Harry had to make it through Potions alone. He sat down with the other Gryffindors, Seamus and Parvarti, and took out his notes.

"Potter!" Snape said after he finished the lecture, making Harry cringe. "What do I get if I mix a fermented meal with flies legs and fire salamander scales?"

Something the Dursleys would have served me for dinner,Harry thought to himself. "I don't -" he started to say automatically then, remembering his studying from the night before, said, "A base for something." Snape gave him a questioning look. Harry wracked his brain. "A base for poison-drawing plasters?" Harry knew it had something to do with skin.

"Remarkably close for being completely wrong, Potter. Ms. Parkinson?"

Pansy put her hand down and, with a snide look at Harry, said, "A base for skin de-aging plasters."

"Ten points for Slytherin, Ms. Parkinson."

The rest of the class went about as well. At the end, Harry at least had a gradeable potion.

"Stay after, Mr. Potter," Snape sneered at him as he put Harry's potion aside with a dubious expression.

Harry frowned and turned away to come up facing Draco Malfoy, who grinned nastily at Harry. Harry ignored him and stepped back over to his table to put his parchments away and wait.

The last of the students departed and the door boomed closed. Harry looked over at Snape, who sat at his bench with his fingers steepled in front of him. "The headmaster asked me to give you lessons in Legilimency," Snape said.

"He told me, sir," Harry replied.

"We can start this evening. And since we need a second day, Friday is all I have available."

Harry frowned and sighed. "If that’s what it has to be, sir."

"My, my, Potter. From somewhere, you seem to have learned some obedience."

"I'd be in detention anyway with McGonagall," Harry shrugged.

"Poor dear," Snape mocked.

Harry looked at him. "You sound like Lestrange, sir," he commented dryly.

"She must be rubbing off," Snape said and stood suddenly. "Get to your next class or you will be late."

*******************

Later that evening, Harry sat in Snape's office, trying to keep down the bad memories this place brought up. Snape sat across from him, gazing malevolently over his steepled fingers.

"Legilimency is not the opposite of Occlumency," Snape began. "Occlumency is defensive, passive even. Legilimency is offensive and akin to a violent attack if not done very carefully. Subtlety is required as one usually does not want the victim to realize what is happening to them."

Harry sat listening closely to Snape's lecture as it wound on. When it was finished, Snape sat watching him for a long minute. "You show some promise, Potter, from the incident during Ms. Granger's rescue."

"I didn't know what else to do, sir."

"Yes, necessity can drive one to discover untapped abilities. Repeat again what you did that day to reach me," Snape commanded.

Harry closed his eyes and concentrated. Snape sat up, silent. A moment later, he felt something tickle in his mind. "Very interesting, Potter."

Harry stopped and opened his eyes. "I barely got started."

"That is enough. I find it interesting that you closed your eyes. Legilimency is almost always done eye-to-eye with the target, as I just explained."

"You said to repeat what I did the other day," Harry defended himself, then quickly added, "Sir."

"Yes, I did. Let's stop for now and return to this on Friday. I want to do a little research before beginning any actual lessons. If you are a latent Legilimens who can contact your target from a distance, I do not wish to risk damaging that skill by teaching you eye-to-eye Legilimency first."

"Does that mean I can go, Professor?" Harry asked brightly.

"Yes, Potter."

Harry stood and released a pent-up breath as he reached for the door. "Until class, sir," Harry said over his shoulder, not waiting for a reply.

Snape stared at his interlocked fingers for a long while after Harry departed, until his need to prepare for the next day's classes drove him back to his classroom.

*********************

Hermione was allowed to return to classes two days later, just in time for Potions. They had to make a good show of things for Malfoy, Nott and Parkinson. Harry watched Hermione brace herself before he opened the door to the classroom. They were almost late, Harry for a moment was afraid they were, as everyone was already settled.

Snape crossed his arms and looked them over as they stepped over and sat at their regular table.

The lecture passed. Snape didn't throw any questions their way, for which Harry was grateful. Then brewing began. Halfway through, it was clear to Harry that Hermione was incapable of failing at a potion. He watched her struggle with each ingredient and could almost read her mind. Mess this one up and it will be ruined--no, she seemed to be thinking, before moving to the next ingredient, the next step, and repeating the struggle.

Harry looked up and caught Snape's intense gaze from across the room. He picked up his galaga root and sliced off most of the skin, then tossed it into his cauldron. As it began sizzling oddly, he waved his wand and swapped potions in their cauldrons.

Snape turned away as Malfoy called him over, but Harry thought he looked surprised for some reason. The Potions master wandered over to them next. "Ms. Granger, I do believe this is a first."

Hermione winced and really did look to be in agony. To everyone else, it looked as though she was frustrated with her own sudden stupidity, rather than with the simple matter of being faced with a bad grade. Harry hurried to figure out where Hermione had been in her brewing so that he wouldn’t ruin this batch as well.

Snape wanded her cauldron away. "It is very strange, Ms. Granger. One would think you were slipped a befuddlement draught or something," he opined coldly.

Harry could see Draco and company laughing behind their hands. Hang in there, Hermione, it’s working, Harry thought. We all have to play our roles.

*****************

Friday evening’s lesson finally came. Harry left Ron playing games and drinking butterbeer in the common room. Ron seemed to be rubbing it in every evening when Harry left to go to detention, but especially tonight. Harry let it flow past him like water in a river and walked down to the dungeons with a cleared mind.

Snape waved him into the chair opposite his desk and handed him a tome. "Read the indicated pages and we will discuss them. I will not pretend to have firsthand knowledge of this skill of yours, so we are going to proceed by trying to find someone else who understood your skill and read what they have to say about it. If your experience matches what you find in your reading, please make special note of it."

Harry scratched his ear and set to reading. The text was aulde with lots of unnik spellings to the words, so it was slow going. When he finally had slogged his way through it, he looked up.

"Finished?" Snape asked. "I was starting to wonder if you actually could read," he sneered.

"The language is really awkward," Harry said, refusing to get mad.

"What did you think of it?"

"I think he is talking about something else. Let me think about that one. Can I take the book with me and write a translation?" At Snape's doubtful eyebrow, Harry added, "McGonagall would let me do that during detention with her. Otherwise, she tries to come up with something creative." Harry said the last with a wince.

Snape handed him another book and gestured that he could keep them if he wished.

******************

By the end of the next week, Hermione was essentially back to her old self and Harry was tired from trying to take evening lessons after his day lessons. When he next went to his lesson with Dumbledore, the office was still, or back to being decorated like a living room.

Harry took a seat on the couch and leaned back.

"You seem tired still," Dumbledore observed.

"Trying to 'help' Hermione along has been exhausting. I don't know how she has done it all this time. Sometimes I think Ron and I must seem as dense to her."

"Then you are learning a valuable lesson, Harry." Dumbledore carried a butterbeer over to him and sat down. He gave Harry some space today.

Harry thanked him for the butterbeer and sipped it. "I really want to do the lesson today," he said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course, my boy. I just want to ask you how your other lessons with Professor Snape are going before we start."

Harry thought he heard a note of concern in the headmaster's voice. "We are reading up on distance Legilimency since Professor Snape thinks I may be able to do that."

"Interesting. But it is going well enough?"

"Mostly," Harry responded and took another sip. He wished he were a Legilimens good enough to read behind Dumbledore's odd expression right at that moment.