Expectations

Notes: Percy POV; Tis a tad predictable, but what fic that starts out slightly angsty but has 'romance' as the category isn't?

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I have no idea how I got here. Or why. Some days I just feel inclined to come; to get away from the hectic atmosphere of my house, possibly. It's not as if it's too much of a bother. The river is only a twenty minute walk away. The relaxation I get from sitting at the end of the dock, wind blowing in my hair, makes it all worth it.

Watching the calm water flow under my feet, I can't help but recall the first time I had let him come with me. The first time I'd ever let anyone come with me. No one, not even my family, knew where it was I disappeared to every so often. He had asked me why we couldn't just apparate. I tried to explain why the walk was just as important. That it wore me out just enough for me to relax and collect my thoughts for further scrutiny. He said he understood, but I really don't think he did.

And today he is what my thoughts are dwelling on. Perhaps I shouldn't be thinking about him, as it was this quiet spot that I came up with the resolve for my last brilliant idea. My indignant snort echoes and is carried across the water. At least he had been polite about it. After all, having been his best friend for the last nine years, a polite rejection was the least he could do. I bury my hands in my hair and rest my head against my knees. I hadn't seen him since that afternoon, and that was nearly three weeks ago. Why I had thought he felt the same way is still not very clear to me. Wishful thinking, perhaps. The logical half of me insists that much of it had not been my imagination, but I'd been ignoring that half lately.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

I jumped slightly; I hadn't heard anyone's approach and I hadn't expected one. There really was no need for me to look up, so I didn't. Not only would I recognize that voice anywhere, but he's the only one who knows of my sacred haven. I make a flippant gesture with my hand, giving consent without the words I doubted I could even find. We sat in silence for long moments before I finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Ol." My voice is very quiet, just loud enough for him to hear, and I'm surprised by the emotion it contains. "I won't take it back because it's how I feel, but I can ignore it. And I will. Just don't stop being my friend." I pause for a moment before adding, "Please."

Of all the reactions I was expecting, the one I received must have been the last. He ignored it completely and spoke as if I had never said a word, his voice just as quiet as mine.

"Have you ever felt you had to put someone else's expectations before your own?" His eyes never met mine, but instead looked across the river. I barely hear his muttered, "Or at least what you thought someone else expected."

I blinked, choosing to ignore the latter part. "Of course. All the time."

He looked directly at me for the first time since he'd sat down. "Do you?"

"I used to. And I still do sometimes." I studied his face before adding very carefully. "But not where it counts. Not anymore." I shudder inwardly as I turn away from his searching eyes. "And we all know where that's gotten me." I say this with a slight laugh, but I can't help but being slightly bitter. It's not his fault directly, but it is in a roundabout way. If he hadn't been such a good person to me, a good friend, my mind would never have twisted his strictly friendly gestures into being something more.

I'm pulled out of my reverie by his cool hand placed on my wrist. For the second time my eyes meet his, and an involuntary hiss escapes my mouth at the emotion in them.

"Yes." His voice is practically non-existent. "I do know." He took a deep breath while at the same time I held mine. "And it's... it's given me the courage to ask for a second chance."

I gave him a strange look. Because I had ruled out any chance of returned feelings, my mind was unable to comprehend the underlying meaning contained in that statement. "Of course, Ol. You'll always be my best friend, you know that. No stupid move on my part could ever change that."

His eyes were pleading with me now. "Not... not a second chance at friendship, Perce. A second chance at a relationship." He looked down where his hand was still resting on my arm. "A second chance to be with you."

Even with the directness of his statement, I took more than a minute to understand. After it finally dawned on me what he was trying to say, my eyes close in frustration. Why must he insist on giving me false hope? Does he not know what this is doing to me, knowing that he knows I love him and having him choose another?

"And Cedric, Ol?" I force myself to say his name, though I know I'll never be able to repeat it. "Shall I just tag along on all your dates then? Use my oh-so-perfect magical abilities to enlarge the bed for three?" I think its safe to say he noticed my sarcasm.

I see him take a deep breath and I brace myself as well. His tongue flicks out to moisten those lips which suddenly seem to have gone dry. I am overcome with the desire to kiss him, but thankfully he chose that moment to speak up before I could embarrass myself even further.

"Its over between us, Perce."

I blink. But... what? He just said that...oh. Oh. Between them. I scold myself mentally for thinking only of me. "Oh, Ol. I'm so sorry... are you alright?" I'm only confused further by the bemused look on his face.

The view across the river has once again demanded Oliver's gaze. "Perce, I'd be perfectly fine if you would accept that I want to be with you. Not Cedric, not anyone else. Just you. Please say you do." My mind has gone into broken record mode, as I keep hearing 'Not Cedric. Just you. Not Cedric. Just you.' replayed repeatedly in my head.

When he finally looked up at me again, a slow smile had crossed my face though my eyes were staring down at the water, seeing nothing.

"Perce?" There was no missing the question in his voice. My smile twitches, though I still see nothing.

"Of course, Ol. Of course." My eyes focus once again upon the beautiful sight that is my best friend, my love, my Oliver.