Fragile

Chapter 4

Harry had no idea how much time had passed when Snape stirred in his arms. They had sat in silence for what felt like hours. Harry had dozed for a bit once or twice, and judging from the other man's breathing, Snape had fallen asleep too. Neither of them had slept much for the past two days.

But now Snape was waking up. He immediately jerked away from Harry, eyes wide with fear but the look quickly changed to one of recognition. Harry gave him a reassuring smile, and to his amazement, Snape returned it. It felt weird to see a genuine smile, however small and timid it might be, on the features that usually only held a disdainful sneer. The two men looked at each other for a moment until Snape broke the silence.

"So, what do we do now, Potter?"

"I don't actually know, Professor," Harry admitted. "And it's Harry, not Potter."

"Why am I not surprised?" Snape's answer had its usual bite but none of the venom with which he normally addressed the Gryffindor. In an afterthought, he added: "Considering the circumstances, I think professor is too formal. You may call me Severus for the duration of the summer holidays. Only for the holidays though," he said warningly. Harry grinned.

"Alright, I'll try to remember that. Severus." It seemed strange to call his teacher by his first name but then Harry would have to get used to the man using his first name too.

"Back to the initial question." Severus brought Harry's thoughts back to the matter at hand.

"Well, we established that we mainly need to reduce your fear of contact and get to know each other in the process. So the most logical thing would be to spend as much time together as possible," the younger man mused. Severus looked sceptical.

"Define "spend as much time together as possible" a bit more precisely. I don't know what your idea of my summer occupations is but I have to stock up the basic healing potions for the infirmary and I also have my own research to do. I will of course also have to answer the Dark Lord's summons whenever he calls me."

Harry bit his lip. For a short while, Voldemort had moved to the very back of his mind.

"The ultimate goal of all this is to enable me to defeat Voldemort, isn't it," he said. "So we should use all the time we have to work towards that. Of course, you've got work to do but then so have I. Apart from my summer homework, I want to improve as much as I can in DADA, especially in duelling so that I'm as prepared as possible when I have to face Voldemort. I can do that while you do your research. Maybe I could even help with the potions for the infirmary. Oh for crying out loud, come on!" he shouted when Severus looked incredulously at his last proposition. "You know I'm not that bad at potions, after all I am in your advanced potions class." Severus shrugged non-committally and Harry went on.

"We spend meal times and evenings together, things like that. You could help me a bit with my DADA. It might also be a good idea if." He broke off, unsure how to formulate his idea, but Severus didn't show any mercy.

"What would be a good idea, Po... Harry?" Harry stared intently at the floor as he answered.

"Well, maybe I should move to the dungeons, you know, sleep with you." Face flaming red, he looked up to find the Potions master fighting another panic attack. Realising what his suggestion must have sounded like, Harry quickly explained himself.

"I didn't mean sleep with you that way. I just meant sleep with you as in share a bed, just for sleeping. Only if you're comfortable with it of course. No, you are obviously not comfortable with it but if it's ok with you. You said we had little time so we should use as much of it as possible. Forget it, it was a bad idea, I'll just stay in my dorm," he sighed when his words didn't seem to have any appeasing effect on the other man.

Severus however shook his head. It obviously cost him a lot of strength but taking a deep breath he said firmly: "No, I think the idea is good. If I am to learn not to fear your touch, I should first of all trust you to be very close to me at all times, including at night. Move your belongings into my rooms and we will proceed as you suggested and see where it takes us. You may assist me with certain potions and I will help you with defensive magic. Is that agreeable to you?" Harry gave him a wide smile.

"That's absolutely perfect! I'll get my stuff then. And afterwards we could have some dinner, I'm starving." Severus inclined his head in agreement.

"You should indeed go and collect your things and I will order some food for us from the kitchens." With a look of amusement, he watched Harry run from the room.

*******

Only half an hour later, Harry had packed up all his things and moved his trunk to Snape's private rooms. The older man had cleared a few spaces in the main, bed and bath rooms for him to make himself at home.

The bedroom turned out to be dark but not unfriendly. A large double four poster bed with green and silver hangings and covers took up the central space. The rest of the furniture, a wardrobe with double mirror doors, two bedside tables and a chest of drawers was assorted in design.

Unlike the bedroom, the bathroom was painted in light beige colours. It contained a very large bathtub, a shower, sink and toilet. The tub reminded Harry of the one in the prefect bathroom even though it was not quite as large and deep. He was looking forward to trying it out.

While he was putting his things away, the house elves had sent the food Severus had ordered. The light dinner consisted of sandwiches, salad and a selection of fresh fruit, together with ice cold pumpkin juice for Harry and red wine for Severus. The two men ate in companionable silence. After they had finished and the plates had magically disappeared, Harry couldn't stifle a yawn.

"I haven't had much sleep these past few days," he admitted. "I think I'll have a bath and then call it an early night." Severus agreed.

"I will read for a bit whilst you take your bath and then go to bed too."

As he had thought, Harry greatly enjoyed the majestic bathtub. It had a charm on it so keep the water warm and the young man stayed in for ages, almost falling asleep in the bath. Almost an hour after dinner, he came back to the sitting room with wet hair and dressed in pyjamas. Severus looked up at him and put the book he was reading aside.

"I thought you had decided do drown yourself," he commented. "I will have a quick shower before bed. Feel free not to wait for me." He walked past Harry into the bedroom, picking up his pyjamas on the way to the bathroom. Harry shrugged and closed the bedroom door behind him after waving his wand at the grate to put out the fire that was still burning.

Judging from the lack of items on the right bedside table, Harry guessed that Severus preferred the left side of the bed. He therefore slipped under the covers on the right and placed his wand and his glasses on the small table. Reducing the light level to a minimum, he lay back and closed his eyes. From the bathroom came the faint noises of someone having a shower.

Harry couldn't help feeling nervous. This was the first time he ever had to share a bed with someone, least of all his Potions teacher. Even though it had been his idea in the first place, he felt very unsure about what would happen and how he was supposed to react. He knew that eventually, he would have to have sex with Severus if they were to go through with the bond and that on the way to that point, they would have to get gradually more intimate with each other. For the moment however, he didn't want to push Severus and he felt that he would himself need a bit of time to get used to the new situation.

Harry was interrupted in his musings by Severus entering the bedroom, also with wet hair and in pyjamas. Upon seeing Harry awake in his bed, he hesitated for a moment before determinedly moving towards the left side of the bed. He pulled back the covers and gracefully climbed into bed. With a curt "Good night", he put out the lights and turned on his side with his back to Harry.

Whatever the Gryffindor had wanted to say had been cut short by the man's abrupt behaviour, so he just lay in the dark, listening to Severus' breathing. The space left between them could comfortably have accommodated a third person but neither wizard made an attempt to move any closer to the other. After what seemed like a rather long time, Harry finally drifted off to sleep.

*******

When Harry woke up, he felt a pleasant warmth against his body. It took him a moment to remember where he was. Opening his eyes, he realised that he and Severus had moved towards the middle of the bed during the night and that he was now curled up against the other man's side, with one arm draped over Severus' chest while the older wizard had put an arm around his shoulders. Harry would never have thought that it felt this nice to wake up next to someone and savoured the feeling of warmth and protection that the closeness gave him.

Unfortunately, the moment was quickly over. As soon as Severus started to awake, he frantically scrambled away from Harry, almost falling out of bed in his haste, the now familiar look of panic on his face. It was only once he sat up and his gaze fell on the young man next to him that he calmed down. He sat on the very edge of the bed, eyeing Harry warily.

"What happened?" he asked hesitantly. The young man shrugged.

"Nothing happened, except that we moved to the middle of the bed during the night. There is nothing you need to be afraid of. Come on, lie down with me for a little longer!" He patted the space next to him invitingly. Severus eyed both him and the mattress uncertainly for a moment, then proceeded to lie down as Harry had asked. He said nothing and only went rigid for a short while when Harry snuggled against him and laid an arm across his chest. After a few minutes he visibly relaxed and just enjoyed the moment of quiet intimacy. Finally however, he sighed and sat up.

"As loath as I actually am to get up, my potions don't make themselves," he said. "You are welcome to stay in bed though." Harry shook his head.

"If you get up, I don't want to stay in bed on my own. I'll just lie here while you use the bathroom," he decided and stretched out again. Severus picked out his clothes and disappeared in the bathroom. After he re-emerged, it was Harry's turn to wash and get dressed. When he entered the living room, he found Severus eating breakfast and reading the Daily Prophet.

Harry had just helped himself to eggs and bacon when something occurred to him.

"What are we going to tell Professor Dumbledore when he asks us about the bond or why I moved down into your rooms?" Severus looked up from his newspaper.

"A valid question. I would suggest sticking with a vague version of the truth: that we are considering the bond but want to get to know each other better first. What do you think?"

Pleased that the older man was actually asking for his opinion, Harry answered: "Yeah, that sounds good to me. That way we don't lie or anything, we just leave out the things that are not really any of his business and we can protect your privacy." He went back to attacking his plate with a healthy appetite.

"Thank you!" Severus suddenly said into the silence.

"Thank you for what?" Harry asked.

"For not telling Dumbledore. For respecting my limitations," Severus answered, looking rather embarrassed. "For offering your help and for just being there." Without another glance at Harry, he stood up and went into his office.

Harry sat there for an entire minute with his mouth open. He could hardly believe that Professor Severus Snape had just thanked him. Of course, he had seen a very different side of the man in the past day or so than he had in all of the previous six years but he hadn't expected the man to be so sincerely grateful for what he'd done and also say it.

Once he had finished his food, Harry followed Severus out of the rooms, leaving the cleaning up of the table to the house elves. He found the Potions master in his private lab which could be reached from both his office and the potions classroom. Severus was busy chopping dried nettles into very small and regular pieces. When Harry just stood there for a moment, Severus motioned to a chopping board opposite his.

"We start with Pepper up potion, then Scelogrow, different pain numbing and relieving potions, sleeping draughts, potions against boils and burns."

Harry proceeded to imitate his teacher in preparing ingredients. The two men worked peacefully side by side for several hours, only occasionally breaking the silence, Harry to ask a question, Severus to give an instruction.

At lunchtime, a house elf appeared to ask if they wanted to have some food. They had a meal which was spent with pleasant talk about the past school year and the events in the wizarding world.

Harry was astounded at how nice it was to talk to the older man when he was not snarling or making nasty comments. Severus' wit and sharp tongue made him a most interesting conversation partner.

Severus for his part was pleasantly surprised to find that his student could be very observant and had an informed opinion on many things if he was not just blurting out the first thing that came to his mind.

During the afternoon, professor Dumbledore visited the lab and only seemed mildly surprised to find his Potions master and his student working together. He pointed out that he had missed both of them in the Great Hall at mealtimes recently but appeared satisfied with their explanation that they were staying in Severus' quarters to get to know each other better.

The evening meal was again spent talking about various things and others. Dinner was followed by a game of chess that ended in a crushing defeat for Harry. When bedtime drew closer, they took the same arrangements as the night before.

The next few days passed exactly like the first, with Harry helping Severus with his potions. In the mornings, Severus' reaction to waking up close to Harry became less and less fearful.