Meant To Be?

I got up from my seat and walked out through the portrait, down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast. As I entered the room, I noticed there were barely a dozen people, mostly prefects, getting a head start to the day. I sat at the table distant from the others, my plate filled with food I didn't eat. I just stared at my food, hungry; I hadn't eat much last night.

The minutes passed slowly but I still didn't eat. More and more people came in, none of them the one person I wanted to see. My hunger pangs worsened, so I started to eat but slowly. When I had finished I didn't bother filling my plate again, I only grabbed a piece of toast and left the Great Hall. I bumped into someone leaving but I didn't look up to see who. I ran out the giant doors and out to the grounds.

I stopped about ten feet from the lake, sat down, and pulled my legs up to my chest to think. I didn't want this to get out of hand. I had known I liked him, but not to the point where I constantly think about him. Every time I thought that we possibly weren't meant to be I felt my liking growing stronger. I didn't want it to, but then, I did. Then as if out of a distant world I heard a voice

"You love him, don't you?"

"You didn't answer my question," he said smiling.

"I know," I said in a quiet voice.

"Why don't you do something about it Hermione?" Harry questioned.

"Do something about what? I never said that I love him. Which I'm not sure if I do. I'm pretty sure I don't. If love is hoping that one day he'll notice me, then maybe I do. Nothing is on my mind but him. My stomach knots up every time I see him. If that's what love is, then yes, I do love him." By then I started crying realizing this was all too true.

"Hermione, you have to do something about it then. You can't wait until the feeling passes. It may never pass," he said tightening his grip on my shoulder, hugging me closer.

"I know. I'll do something soon I promise. Oh Harry?" I asked.

"Yes, Hermione?"

"Please not a word of this to Ron?"

"Promise," he said reassuringly.

We just sat there next to each other for I don't know how long. But we just sat. I could feel it was growing near lunch. Either that or my stomach didn't feel that my "breakfast" was quite enough. But I didn't want to go get some lunch. That would involve seeing him and I just couldn't. I told Harry I would do something soon, but I'm not sure I want him to know that I love him. I'm not even sure that I do. It feels like I do, but do I really? Besides what is love anyways? An attraction between two people? Is it something you feel or it is something you just know? Do you have to test it to fully know? I don't think I'd want to test it. I bet I already have without knowing it. I feel I have tested myself.

All this was spinning in my head and I couldn't control it. All this can't stay in my head. It's not like I could tell anyone though. I knew I could trust Harry but he already knew without being told. All that time sitting there and I still didn't know if I loved him. How will I know? When I can feel deep down that I couldn't live without him? When not seeing him for a day feels like years?

I thought on this for a moment and found that it was mostly true already. When I see him, I feel that I love him. That there is a connection there that only he and I share. Okay, so I love him. But does he feel the same?

The days passed and I still hadn't said anything. I knew I needed to do something and quick before the chance passed me by. Harry was becoming suspicious; he knew that I hadn't done anything or tried for that matter. The thing is I don't know what to do. I had rehearsed what I would say a thousand times. All that practicing seemed to have disappeared from my mind like it never happened. Why? I could remember the name of every herb, memorize every spell. But something this simple escaped me completely. I needed help and quick!

"Harry could you please help me?" I asked him in the common room one night when surprisingly Ron wasn't there.

"Hermione, I thought you were going to do something about this weeks ago?" He asked putting down his quill.

"I know I did, but I didn't have a plan then. But now I do and I need your help. Oh please Harry?" I lowered my voice so only he could hear. "You know I love him."

:Okay, I'll help you with your plan. But right now I need to finish my potions homework," he replied.

"Alright," I laughed getting up and heading to the dormitory and then turned. "Harry? Thank you."

He nodded with a smile. I turned and ran up to the girls' dormitory. I quickly changed and got into bed, smiling all the while. In a few days I'd be telling Ron how I really feel about him. If it was only as easy as it sounds. I guessed I'd have to wait and see.

Harry and I were up late in the common room trying to figure out this plan of mine. We hadn't gotten much. Barely enough to work something out. Just that Ron, Harry, and I would be talking in front of the lake. That's all we really have but it's developing.

"Hermione, what if I lead into asking who Ron likes? Or who you like?" Harry suggested.

"No, I think it would be too obvious, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess you are right," he said sighing.

"I've had this worked out for years. Why does it have to go when I need it? Why can't I tell him straight out, why can't I say I love--" But I stopped. Ron walked into the room though the portrait hole. He stopped dead in his place.

"Why are you out so late wandering around the school?" Harry asked.

"Why should you know? What are you two doing up so late when you were supposed to be in bed an hour ago?" Ron said stomping off to the boys' dormitory.

"What was that about?" I asked Harry.

"Dunno, something must be up," Harry said looking at the door that leads to the boys' dormitory. "I can go ask him."

"NO!" I yelled.

He looked at me quizzically.

"It's just that we need to get this plan worked out. Or he'll never know. When he needs to," I said to him.

"Alright. This is going to take forever." Harry heaved a sigh.

Harry was right. It did take forever. We didn't get to bed until a quarter till four. Thankfully we didn't have classes the next day. Even I wouldn't want to go. But fortunately out of that we got a plan. We decided after all that time that I'd tell him straight out. In front of the lake, a week from today. Harry at my side now nothing could stop me.

The week went by so fast. Before Harry and I knew it, it was the day I would be telling Ron just how I feel. About an hour before it was time, I stood in front of the mirror rehearsing what I wanted to say.

"I love you Ron, I've always loved you. I love you," I said into the mirror.

"I love you too Hermione," someone said.

"Lavender, what are you doing? I thought you'd be out doing what ever you've been doing these few weeks." I said walking to my bed and grabbing my cloak.

"Oh, that. Well I'm about to go now." And with that she bolted from the room.

I basically shrugged her off. I put on my cloak, and walked down the stairs into the Common Room. There stood Harry, at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me. I smiled, that being the only thing I could do, being that I was so nervous.

"Ron's meeting us there. You ready?" Harry asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be," was my reply.

We left the common room and down the seven flights of stairs to the Great Hall. I pulled on Harry's arm, signaling for him to slow down. He knew what I meant and did so. We reached the doors and pulled them. My heart was beating like a humming bird's wings. We were approaching the lake, and there was Ron, turning our way watching us walk toward him.

As we stopped in front of him he said, "Hullo Harry, Hermione."

"Hey Ron," Harry said.

Harry elbowed my ribs. "Ouch. Hi Ron."

He elbowed me again while saying, "Don't you have something to tell Ron?"

"Oh yes, Ron there is something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time now." I took a deep breath. "Ron, I--," but I was cut off.

"Ron there you are! I've been looking for you." Said a girl's voice.

I didn't turn because I recognized the voice right away. I closed my eyes hoping that this wasn't happening. But it was, so, bravely, I opened my eyes.

"Lavender," Ron said with his arms outstretched.

She ran into his arms. They embraced each other like they were a couple. Ron smiled.

"How long?" I managed before my voice cracked.

"Almost a month," Lavender replied smiling at Ron. Then looked from me to Harry. Then back to Ron.

"Well we better get going. You can tell me later can't you Hermione?" Ron asked starting to walk away.

All I could do what nod my head. As soon as he turned, my eyes filled with tears. When they went back into the school, I broke down. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground. The tears just would not stop. Harry knelt beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry," he said trying to comfort me.

"But I love him," was all I could say.