The Silver Cauldron

Chapter 29 - Purple Ink

'Dear Dad...'

I paused. It wasn't easy writing to a father who, for eighteen years, you believed had brought about the death of your mother. Especially when, after years of study, all you had to show for yourself was a failed teacher's apprenticeship and a criminal record from the Ministry of Magic. Even more so if your father was sceptical about the existence of such a ministry, let alone magic.

I had received the letter several weeks ago. The owl journey had left it battered, and, in some places, illegible, but I had been able to pick out the words that mattered. For a long time I'd left it untouched. But now it was time to take action. Time to put things right. I took a deep breath and dipped my quill into the inkwell, glancing at the jumble of parchment around me as if for inspiration. Hand held, trembling, above the paper. I brought it down.

CRASH! The door flew open and a house elf burst in. I jumped, sending a long slash of purple ink sprawling across the paper.

"Miffy! Look what you've made me do! I told you not to interrupt when I'm writing!" I said angrily. The elf looked aghast.

"Sorry Miss, so sorry, Miffy didn't mean to..." I sighed. Miffy was only young, and she still had that frantic energy all new house elves seem to possess when they're starting their job.

"That's OK" I said. "Just remember to knock next time."

"Yes, yes, of course" she squeaked. "Miss is kind". I smiled a little in spite of my irritation.

"Well?"

"Well, Miss?"

"Well, what is it you burst in so noisily to tell me?" She brightened.

"He's home!" she squealed. "The Master's home!"

My heart gave a jolt. I pushed my chair back and followed the elf's pattering footsteps down the stairs, where I stood rather awkwardly in the hallway to wait for him. At last the door swung open with a bang; a swirl of icy wind and snowflakes fluttered inside, and there he was. Severus Snape had come home.

For a few seconds he simply stood there staring at me, a slight smirk upon his lips. Then he closed the door behind him, his eyes upon me the whole time. I became acutely aware or the ink smudges on my hands, messy hair and crumpled robes. He gave his travelling cloak to the waiting elf, who carried it away as though she had just been presented with the Crown jewels. Then he came towards me.

"Well...I'm back Philoma."

"You are". His smirk widened.

"Very welcoming, I must say. And has my little...prisoner missed me?"

"You know I have." He reached up and removed the hair from my flushed face.

"Good."

The next moment I was wrapped in his thin arms. Too thin - much thinner than I remembered them. His skin was cold; so, so cold from the snow outside. I moved further into his embrace, to warm him, and felt the sharpness of his ribs through his robes. He held me tightly, he was hurting me but I didn't cry out. When we broke apart his breath caught harshly in his throat and I saw that his eyes were full of tears. I didn't say anything; even after four years he still managed to intimidate me. At last he spoke.

"The child?" I smiled weakly at him.

"It grows. Here." I guided his hands to the right place and watched his face cloud with a sharp pleasure as he felt it kick.

"There is still hope then."

"There is always hope." He looked at me and shuddered slightly, drawing me closer and enveloping me with his cloak.

"My poor caged songbird. You realise we can tell no - one about this child? Not yet. We can't risk them knowing about it. It would be too easy a target for them to attack."

"They...they interrogated you then?" He snorted in contempt.

"They interrogated everyone. Everyone. They are so caught up in this paranoia...Strange isn't it, Philoma, not so long ago it was simple to tell black from white. Now everything is grey. Don't you understand, we need the darkness in order to see the light?" He bit his lip hard, and a drop of blood fell upon my face.

"Severus, do you think they will ever send for my release?"

"Do you have any faith in it?"

"I believe in Dumbledore. I believe in being released. I believe in you." He smiled.

"Yes. And there lies the true freedom."

We said no more on the subject. That evening he accompanied me in the study, where I was trying to clear away the scattered pieces of paper that I had left all over the desk.

"Still as untidy as you were at Hogwarts I see" he remarked.

"Yes" I said. "How is everything there?" He made a short noise of impatience.

"Too much work and too many stupid students." I laughed.

"Have they got you a new assistant yet?"

"No. I think Dumbledore is rather reluctant to recruit me another after the way I treated you."

"Or he's scared they'll turn out to be another Death Eater" I said.

"Which is very unlikely, don't you think?"

"And the other teachers?"

"Still eccentric. Still don't know where you've gone. Sprout thinks you're studying rare antidotes in the Congo, while Trelawney predicts your death every day with a growing conviction. I nearly believed her enough last week to ask Dumbledore if I could go home until I got your letter." I laughed again, and sat down at the desk.

"Ah yes...the letters. You know, Severus, I have finally worked out a way to cheat death." He looked at me sharply.

"How?"

"Biography" I said, and, picking up my quill, began to write.

The Silver Cauldron by Philoma Almanay

Amongst the heaving throng of chattering people rose the steam engine itself, like a great fire - breathing dragon. I'd done it. I'd achieved my dearest ambition. I was going to work at Hogwarts!

Author's Notes

Thank you for reading my fic and persevering with it. It is the first story I have written based on someone else's book, so it was something of an experiment. Although I have written my own pieces before I haven't 'published' them as such on the Internet, so it has been invaluable receiving your comments, criticisms and ideas. I can use them to improve my future writing, so thank you very much to everyone who has told me what they thought of 'The Silver Cauldron', both good and bad!

In these notes I hope to answer any questions that arose in people's reviews regarding my choice of plot, characters and names.

First - person narrative

I chose to tell the story from Philoma's viewpoint simply because it makes it seem as though she is a real person telling the story. It is also because in the last chapter she realises that the only way to cheat death is to through storytelling.

Symbolism and Mythology

One of the things I like most about Rowling's books is the way she incorporates Celtic, Greek and Roman mythology into the plot. I tried to use a similar technique in this. A few people asked why I used some of these, so here is why;

Philoma Almanay

The name Philoma is a variation on Philomela - a character from Roman mythology who was raped and took her revenge on her attacker by killing his children and serving them up to him in a pie. Nice story. I used it as a of metaphor for what happens to her in my story, and also to show that although Philoma appears rather weak at times everything she does has a subliminal reason and the capacity for revenge. So she's not as nice as she initially seems!

'Almanay' comes from 'Almanac' - an old fashioned calendar that incorporated dates, astronomy and superstition. Philoma's outlook on life is a mixture of superstition and science - a blend of the physical and spiritual. She refuses to let go of the past and clings to ideals that are no longer relevant to her present environment. Not so much naive as outdated.

The Crow

Crows were thought of as a symbol of witchcraft during the Middle Ages, responsible for carrying the souls of the dead to their graves. The crow in 'The Silver Cauldron' is the personification of her mother's soul, trying to save her daughter through the cauldron. Rather like Harry's Patronus, which takes the form of a stag.

The Unicorn

"Gradually darkness fell, enveloping me. The unicorn shining on the side of my cauldron flickered and went out" (Chapter 8).

Unicorns are a Christian symbol of purity and innocence. They are the protectors of young women and virgins. Snape's seduction of Philoma forces her to grow up. She loses her appearance of innocence as she becomes more involved with Snape, until she finally betrays him to Voldemort.

The Child

In the past, witches were spared hanging if they were found to be pregnant. (In Arthur Miller's 'The Crucible' Elizabeth is saved from being hung by the fact that she is expecting a child). Philoma's first baby not only saves her life but puts her on the path to happiness, although the child itself is doomed to die. It is also a symbol of a rebirth - she becomes pregnant again in the final chapter, lending hope that the next generation will mend the barbarity that has corrupted the wizarding world.

Too much Gothicism!

Several of you said that the fic becomes too 'gothic' towards the end. I was originally intending to end it when Philoma betrays Snape to Voldemort, but by then I'd thought of several other things that I wanted to do with the characters! But maybe you are right - it did read rather like a cheap gothic story in the later chapters. I think the main thing I wanted to show was that Harry's World is not as 'nice' as it seems to be. The treatment of dissenters is very cruel, equal almost to Voldemort's cruelty. Azkaban is a place of constant mental torture, and having read several accounts of psychological torture employed in countries today I know how horrific it is. And they say that people who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

On Snape's Portrayal

My portrayal of Snape was another thing some people disagreed with. I agree that I have been a bit harsh on the ol' boy. Rowling has not yet allowed us to see a particularly nice side to Snape's character. Bravery and determination yes, but these need not be necessarily good qualities. I had to improvise. I thought he would be someone who would keep himself under a rigid control all the time. If he is not used to showing any emotion other than bitterness then breaking through that barrier would be very difficult and painful. He simply wouldn't know how to cope with feelings such as love.

It is also important to remember that because I wrote the fic from the first person you only get a one sided, often unfavourable view of Snape - Philoma's view. Therefore his motives remain hidden to the readers and the cruelty with which Philoma treats him is glossed over. For example, in Chapter 10 she says, "Hatred is the only emotion you have. I bet you even hated your parents didn't you? Well, I'm glad I'm not a pure blooded wizard if that's what they're like." - hardly surprisingly this provoked him into hitting her!

On Snape and Love

To answer your many questions, no, Snape was not in love with Philoma in the early stages of their relationship. The physical attraction was there, but it started with his desire to control her. He is very good at manipulating people - almost as good as Voldemort. When he first touched Philoma in the Potions lesson he could tell from her reaction that she was not used to, even scared of physical contact, and then tried to use this weakness to control her. When he found he was actually developing feelings for her he panicked. Philoma's feelings towards him were not love but lust - she had never been in a relationship before and therefore couldn't understand her emotions. And all this of course is tied up with the fact that her sole purpose of going to Hogwarts was to betray Snape to Voldemort and therefore buy her place into acceptance.

A couple of you wondered why Snape and Philoma didn't get married in the end. I wasn't too sure about this, because marriage is a Christian ceremony and so I didn't think the paganistic wizarding world would practise it. On the other hand, they still celebrate Christmas and keep the tradition of the wife taking the husband's name (Mr and Mrs Weasley for example), so some kind of union occurs. If you want to think of it that way, the bracelet Snape gives Philoma has the same value as a wedding ring.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Now I have got the notorious 'Harry fic' bug, I am currently writing a short monologue based on 'The Philosopher's Stone' from the point of view of Argus Filch. Very sarcastic, not particularly serious and NO gothicism, I promise!!! I also have ideas bubbling for the more political 'Harry Potter and the War With Iraq', although I don't know whether I dare post it on here for fear of upsetting any American, British or indeed Iraqi readers! Rather a controversial topic at the moment I fear...

Finally...

I want to say a great big THANK YOU! to everyone who has read this, posted reviews (the good, the bad and the ugly - they all help!), and would like to dedicate 'The Silver Cauldron' to Fujin 101, Queenallissa, Palinta, Draco's Secret Lover, Constance Nicholson, and everyone else who has posted regularly.