The Silver Cauldron

Chapter 25 - Azkaban

The prison stood on an island far out at sea. From the boat I could see the waters lashing at the sides of the black fortress, dragged into frenzy by the hatred within. The fortress was huge, dark wet stone walls binding it in and shutting the rest of the world out. There were no windows.

The building itself was not the most terrifying thing about Azkaban however. Although we were still a good distance from the island I could already feel their presence. It felt as though I was on the edge of a steep cliff looking down on the sharp rocks below. If I wasn't careful I would fall over. I gasped and tried to get as far away from it as possible, but the chains upon my wrists held me still. The Auror next to me grimaced.

"Its no good. We've lost too many prisoners over the side of the boat to risk leaving you unchained." I swallowed hard, looking at the tormented water below me. How many I thought, how many people had thrown themselves overboard rather than enter the prison. It was getting closer by the second and I could feel the power begin to take hold of me. A faint, far off whispering, promising to become a scream. I put my hands over my ears to block out the sound but it was useless, it came from within me. At last the boat gave a jolt as we touched the shore. Then I saw them.

Towering, cloaked, thousands and thousands of them. As the Auror unchained me each and every one turned blind, invisible faces in our direction. A ripple of excitement seemed to run through them and they slowly drew nearer. A cold clamminess tightened around my throat. The Auror pulled out his wand and cried;

"Expecto Patronum". The Dementors drew back as a sheaf of white light surrounded us. The Auror turned to face me.

"Come."

I was lead through some heavy iron gates and into the prison. It was terrible. The walls were filthy and seemed to be covered with soot, as though they had been charred by fire. The absence of cobwebs was hardly surprising - any sensible creature had fled centuries ago. As we passed cell after cell I saw people staring back at me, wild, barely human eyes, lifeless, dull skin stretched over sunken bones. I shrank back in fear. We turned a corner and suddenly a woman caught my eye.

She was kneeling on the ground of a dank cell. Her hair had grown past her feet and was matted into a clump. Her robes had once been fine but were now reduced to tatters, exposing her filthy, scarred flesh. Her nails were so long that they curled into black spikes, which tore cruelly at the face as she screamed into the air. But it was her face that frightened me. It was like something dead, covered in bruises and scratches and so thin I could see every line of her skull. There were heavy wrinkles under her eyes, gouged there by the incessant flow of tears. When she saw me she stood up and ran across to the barred door of her cage.

"The master! Give me news of the master!" she screamed at me, her dull broken eyes lighting up in an instant. "The Dark Lord! Is he coming for me?" I stepped back, terrified. The Auror turned.

"Silence!" he ordered. The woman laughed unnaturally.

"Your time will come. He will burnt you to a cinder. He'll strip the skin from your flesh. You won't escape. And I shall be free!" She dissolved into a volley of high-pitched sobs and wails.

Completely nonplussed, the Auror led me on. At last we came to a bare cell right at the heart of the prison. He opened the rusty iron door and led me inside.

"Here" he said. I grasped onto his arm in sheer panic.

"Please. Please don't leave me here. I will die" He laughed coldly.

"No. You won't die. You will want to by tonight though I can assure you. You are one of the lucky ones. He will be here to collect you in a fortnight. Goodbye".

He locked the door, and my heart missed a beat. As the steps of the Auror quietened and the glow of the Patronus dwindled into nothingness I began to hear them. "No" I told myself forcefully. A Dementor passed by the grating and drew a long, sucking breath. I curled into a ball on the floor. "No" I whispered faintly. But I was losing. The screams were becoming louder and louder as I fought to keep my sanity. Every breath I took was becoming more difficult. I screamed, one last wail of despair before tumbling over the cliff edge onto the rocks.

Chapter 26 - A Carriage Ride

...Go. Just go. Go away. I don't want to see you again, do you hear me? Go to that stupid school if you want to. But dad... If you think magic is more important than me then you can go. She obviously thought it was. Dad, you know that's not true......Mum! Mum where are you? I can't see you ...Come back mum......I'm not a mudblood! I'm not! I have just as much a right to be here as you...Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!.....I've heard about you, Philoma Almanay...I know someone who can help you...use your talents. Don't you want to follow in your mother's footsteps?......You have to prove yourself first. Go to Hogwarts...there is someone I want you to deliver to me...alive.......I believe it is I, not you, who is control of this class...Yes Professor......A person's deepest desires...are to be kept a secret...Forgive me professor, please forgive me...Don't ever think you are anything special my darling......Whose child do you want to be? Your mothers or your fathers?......Please professor don't, don't ......Who do you belong to? Who? Who?......Crucio...Stop it...not him, not him...She never loved you. She used you as you tried to use her......You can't have this child.....You will be mine - or no-ones......I trusted her...trusted her...Please stop it Professor...You're hurting me...Stop it! Stop it! STOP!

"Expecto Patronum!"

And for once it did actually stop. My head cleared. I could just make out the misty shapes of two wizards standing over me, one in black, and the other maroon. I could not make out their faces. One of them spoke quietly.

"What have I done to her?" The other coughed.

"You see, this is why I disapprove of the use of Dementors".

"She's not...they haven't...Albus they haven't have they?" He shook his head.

"No. She's still with us. Just. Come on. Let's get her out of here". The black figure knelt down beside me and lifted me gently, flinching a little as his fingers came into contact with my emaciated body. There was something odd about this man, I thought I should know him somehow but I couldn't quite recall...it was only when we had reached mainland that it all came flooding back to me. Oh, the relief to be away from those Dementors! He lifted me onto a carriage of some sort.

"Quick Albus, pass me a blanket, she is freezing." I looked up at him dizzily. I wasn't cold...just a little numb. He took out a phial full of some green liquid and held it to my lips. I drank, and instant warmth spread across me. Snape gave a short breath of relief.

"Lean against me. Here" I clung to him lifelessly, no longer caring or knowing what I was doing. The carriage swung into motion. Dumbledore looked at us.

"Well Severus, it seems you have finally got what you wanted." Snape's body stiffened.

"And what is that, Headmaster?"

"She is yours. Finally and ultimately yours. You can mould her or break her. She belongs to you in law and mind Severus."

There was a long silence. A tremor ran through his body. His usually commanding voice seemed a little higher than usual when he replied.

"I never wanted this. You know I never wanted this. This... this is wrong, all wrong" he awkwardly put an arm around my shoulders, heavy and not at all comforting, and clasped my head to his breast with his hands. His cold fingers made me flinch in spite of myself. He shuddered again.

"See that? See how she still shies away from me? Oh, she'll submit to me all right, I could make her my whore if I wanted...but don't you understand that's not what I want from her? In seeking to capture the fire that drew me to her...I have extinguished it. I don't want her body. I want her soul." He pulled me closer to him as he spoke and buried his face in my hair. Something hot and wet fell onto he back of my neck; tears. Dumbledore sighed deeply.

"It is not just you Severus, but all of us that are to blame. Your actions are no more than any other might have done. She loves you. If you wish to salvage her mind and spirit she will recover. Even Dementors cannot touch her kind of love. Hers is not a happy love; she has forced herself against taking pleasure in it." Snape's grasp became a little softer.

"Like me. I always thought love was a frivolity until she..." he stopped abruptly. "What am I saying?! This woman has destroyed me! Do you know, when I first touched her the only reaction I wanted to get was one of embarrassment? I thought it would control her, show her her place. But the second my hands touched her waist it felt...right. And when she pulled away it only made me want to snatch her closer to me. So I did it again and again, pretending to myself that all I was trying to do was frighten her into obedience. I was consumed with desire for her, but too blind to see it as anything more than a deep hatred. And I went too far...much too far. I could no longer deceive myself that there was nothing but a sadistic pleasure in feeling her flinch, watching tears form in her eyes, seeing her cheeks burn at my touch. God I wanted to break her utterly, she had to be mine. And at last she responded to me, let me have her. I thought I was in love; barely allowed myself to believe it, this lithe, pale girl actually liked me! But then I found that she had been deceiving me all along. The only reason she gave in to me was because her eyes were fastened on a much bigger goal. Treacherous woman! I should have known love only exists in poetry and desire can only be satisfied by action." He abruptly pushed me away so forcefully I nearly fell onto the floor. Dumbledore put out an arm to stop me, his eyes blazing.

"You are too blind to your own emotions Severus. You won't cast off the cold shell you have built around yourself. Why can't you see that she did not want to betray you? She has been manipulated by so many people."

"Including me."

"Yes. Including you. Why did you do it Severus?"

"Do what?"

"Why did you perform the Imperius curse upon her?" he looked shocked.

"You know?"

"Of course. I want to know why." Snape was quiet for a while.

"Because...because I think I knew, even then, that she was distancing herself from me. I was losing her...it was a stab of defiance, a last bid for control. I have regretted it ever since, but it is too late to be sorry now".

The carriage stopped with a jolt. For a moment Dumbledore and Snape sat in silence.

"Well we are here. Your home and her prison."

"My prison too, Albus."

"Yes. Is she awake?" I felt Snape's hand upon my face and gasped.

"She's half conscious. She'll wake soon."

"If she wants to, poor thing."

"She'll wake." Dumbledore stood up and slowly opened the door.

"I don't want to leave her here with you. It is wrong. Very wrong. For both of you I mean." Snape removed his cloak and wrapped its heavy folds around my shoulders.

"You assigned her to me" he said shortly.

"Yes..."

"The council wish me to...re-educate her. Break her. Bring her back to..." he shivered "...the light." He lifted me and stepped down briskly from the carriage.

"They... they want me to use potions on her Albus." Dumbledore shook his head gravely.

"Severus, surely you won't..."

"Of course not. I won't have to, The shock will be enough." Dumbledore looked at him sharply.

"Then she has..?" Snape did not answer him.

"Well then, you had better get her inside as soon as possible. But Severus..."

"What?"

"Be kind to her".