The Silver Cauldron

Chapter 23 - The Edge

Mummy. When you have pushed someone over the edge, where do they go? She laughed and squeezed my hand. "That is something you will never know until it happens to you" she said, and lifted me up to sit on her knee. My father looked up from his paper and chuckled. "The things children say" he said affectionately. At the time I assumed they went to the same place as those who were driven round the bend or up the wall. Two years later she was dead.

I don't want to think about her death. It just came to mind you see, because I still don't know where they go. Wherever it is, it makes them do things they would never otherwise have done, a kind of mental void, I suppose, where old values will be reversed. Where did I hear that phrase before? I don't want to think of my mother. I was young, probably around eight when it happened. Already the details of her have crumbled to dust, only sometimes do I have faint glimpses of memory, like an afterimage, of what she was like. I don't know whether she was a good woman.

Her death pushed my father over the edge, whatever it means. And I, unwittingly, had just done the same to Snape. I knew exactly what I was doing to him; knew exactly what pain I'd put him through; knew exactly how he would respond. And, strangely, I wanted it to happen. I had sown the seeds; now there was nothing left for me to do other than wait.

Somewhere outside my window an owl emitted a melancholy cry. Seconds later came the inevitable shriek of despair from its prey as the bird's talons pierced its flesh. The moon slid out from its ebony shroud and lit my room with shadow. I sighed restlessly and got out of bed for a glass of water. As I glanced through the window I noticed out of the corner of my eye two dark figures walking hastily across the lawn. I strained my eyes, trying to see who they were, but they had passed out of sight. Strange. Why were there people walking the grounds of the school at this time of night? I drew the curtain across and went back to bed. I did not get under the covers. I had a feeling, a kind of instinct that I should stay awake. Then it happened.

The door of my room was slammed open. He stood there, blazing torch in hand, a mixture of triumph and horror etched into his features.

"Almanay. Get up" his voice shook a little.

"What's wrong?"

"Hurry up. You won't be needing your wand."

"Why? What's the matter? Is someone ill?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

"What have you done? You haven't...have you?" He said nothing.

"Oh Severus..."

"Don't. Just don't speak to me."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I drove you to this." There. I'd said it. He looked weakly at me for a moment and I was painfully reminded of another time he'd looked at me, seconds before Voldemort raised his wand. Then he pulled himself together.

"No more. Come with me."

"Please Severus..." he turned on me angrily and I could see tears in his eyes.

"One more sound and I will have to gag that pretty mouth of yours. Now hurry up." I could tell from his tone that he wasn't joking. I quickly pulled a cloak over my night - dress and followed him into the corridor, realising too late that I wasn't wearing any shoes.

He strode off at such a speed that I could barely keep up. We went down a long flight of stairs, down, down, down, until the soles of my feet began to ache dully. At last he stopped outside a door, knarled and disfigured horribly by the passage of time. Just before he opened the door he turned and gazed at me.

"Philoma. I want you to trust me."

"What other choice do I have?" I said blankly. He opened the door and pushed me inside. The breath froze in my throat.

Inside the tiny cell stood three men. One I recognised as Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. The second was Professor Dumbledore. The third I had never seen before, though I knew immediately his profession. He was an Auror. Fudge nodded to a chair in the exact centre of the room. Snape led me over to it and made me sit. With one flick of his wand chains appeared, cruelly tight, around my arms. Trapped. Fudge stepped forward.

"Philoma Almanay. You are under arrest for joining with the Dark Lord."

Snape walked around to the back of my chair and put his hands lazily on my shoulders.