The Silver Cauldron

Chapter 17 - Crucio

A circle of people inside a circle of fire. The fire manipulated the shadows of the trees, twisting them into weird, terrifying shapes. The air was thick with hatred.

Snape stood next to me. His face was deathly pale but he wore a look of fierce determination. He didn't look at me. A wave of excitement ran through the assembled crowd as the tall, thin man stepped into the circle with us. His red eyes fastened first on Snape's face and then on mine. I shivered; it felt as though he was reading my mind. At last he spoke.

"The traitor has returned." He looked around the watchers and I felt every member closing in on us.

"He has been brought here by his own foolish lust." A vein twitched in Snape's face but he continued to stare straight ahead. Lord Voldemort's eyes returned to me.

"Philoma Almanay. Step forward." I did so, although every muscle in my body ached to get as far away from him as possible. I stared at the ground, anywhere but into that overwhelming face. He took out his wand and pushed my chin up with its tip. Our eyes locked, and I felt a jolt of electricity run through me.

"Look at her" he said to the Death Eaters. "She is the daughter of a muggle and yet see the degree of service she is capable of. For this I am going to reward her. Almanay, what is your deepest, most precious desire?" There was a rustle of cloth behind me as Snape stepped forward in shock. Voldemort's eyes flickered over to him briefly and then returned to me. "What do you want?"

I thought of several things. I thought of the bullies at Durmstrang. I though of my mother, lying limp and white on the floor. Poison, they'd said. I thought of Snape - no I did not want to think of Snape. I wanted...I wanted...

"Power" I whispered. "I want power. I want to join you." Voldemort smiled, although this smile was not a natural one. I felt a stab of doubt.

"Kneel" he ordered, and I did so, feeling his immense power with fear in my heart.

"Hold out your left arm." I pulled back my sleeve to expose the flesh. He reached out to touch my skin...

"Don't do it Philoma!" As if in a dream I heard Snape's voice behind me. Voldemort glared at him.

"You will be silent, Severus Snape, if you value your life." Miraculously, Snape ignored him.

"It's not worth it. Nothing's worth it" he said softly. He looked strained, old almost. I felt another pang of doubt...

"CRUCIO!" A jet of hard light form Voldemort's wand sent Snape onto the floor. He lay there convulsing, his face contorted with pain. He did not scream. Even under that he still had enough self-control not to scream. The Death Eaters around us began to jeer and laugh. I gritted my teeth. Of course I had to learn to accept this kind of thing. But when it was happening to him...

At last the curse was lifted. Snape lay on the ground, his breath coming out in short, ragged gasps. I looked away and forced my mind onto something else.

"That" the Dark Lord said calmly, "Is what happens to those who disobey me. Do you understand?" I nodded shakily. There was no getting out of this now. I held out my arm again.

As soon as his fingers touched my skin I knew this was wrong. I could feel his soul pulsing within his very blood, black, cruel, terrible. Instead of liberating myself I had thrown my future into the hands of an even more powerful bully. Only this one could kill me. He must have seen the dismay in my face, felt me flinch or something, for he suddenly erupted into a high cruel laugh.

"The Mudblood is having second thoughts! How typical. I suppose you'd rather crawl back to your precious Professor, wouldn't you?" I shook my head, desperate to please, to survive.

"You want to be chained to him again do you? Be his slave instead of my servant? You want to let him use you again, be his toy? Is that what you want?"

"N...no."

"I'm sorry?"

"No, my Lord."

"That's better. Do you agree to dedicate your life to me?"

"Y...yes my Lord" I heard myself say.

"Will you give up your future to me?" The onlookers had begun to chant; some kind of spell or chant, I couldn't tell. As I gazed up at Voldemort's face I could see him looking triumphant.

"Will you use your powers and knowledge for me, and for my ends alone?"

"Yes." The chanting grew louder, each beat of my heart joined in time. Voldemort's fingers tightened and I could feel him on me, in me, part of me.

"Will you give up your mind, heart and soul to serve me?"

"YES!" The chanting became unbearably loud, my head spun. I heard him cry "MORSMODRE!" above me when an excruciating pain shot through my left arm. It was as if each of his fingers had become a hot iron rod, burning my skin to its core. I screamed out loud, felt him release me and collapsed onto the ground.