Hush Little Baby

HUSH, LITTLE BABY

by D.M.P.

Lucius woke up to someone shaking him roughly by the shoulder.

"Master! Master! Wake now!"

Lucius rolled onto his side and opened his eyes. The room was dark, and his unfocussed vision took a few moments to adjust to being awake. The bright light was shown in his eyes and Lucius saw a house elf standing by his bedside, with a little magic lantern in his hands.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled in a half-asleep voice. He waved away the light from his eyes and the house elf clumsily dropped the lantern. At least he had the sense not to turn on the lights, Lucius thought sarcastically. But the elf must have been running around the house in the middle of the night, if he had the lantern with him.

The house elf was practically dancing by the side of the bed in little hops and skips of nervousness. "Dobby sorry, very sorry to wake Master," he said hurriedly, wringing his hands. "But young Master do not stop crying!"

"That?" Lucius groaned and covered his head with his pillow. "Tell his mother to take care of him and leave me alone!"

Dobby panicked even more at this order. "D-Dobby do! B-but Madam," he stuttered, jumping up and down even more frantically on his stubby legs. "Madam wants you!"

"Why would she??" Lucius sat up, making Dobby jump back with the sudden movement. "Narcissa should know how to care for her own child!"

Dobby looked down at the big feet. He continued wringing his hands in a pathetic, worried fashion and whimpered, "Young Master will not stop crying....."

"Fine then!" Lucius swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up, taking his wand from the nightstand. "Go!" he snapped at Dobby, and at the order Dobby hastily grabbed the lantern off the floor and bolted from the room.

"Lumos," Lucius whispered, and his wand lit up automatically. He ran a hand through his silver blonde hair and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He hadn’t heard any of this crying, but that was because he had a Silence Spell cast over his room.

Leaving his bedroom, Lucius could hear the loud, high-pitched wails echoing through the darkened mansion. Impressive to say the least, since the nursery was located at the other side of the manor.

"Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!"

"That child..." Lucius muttered to himself as he made his way down the dismal marble-lined hallways and corridors that snaked their way throughout the house. He kept his feet on the red carpet runners, avoiding the cold stone floor.

Draco seemed to be born in tears. He never stopped crying for one moment since Lucius and Narcissa took him home from the hospital a scant two weeks ago. The doctor said it was colic, and that this stage would last for only a couple months. Lucius was beginning to think that two months would be an eternity. He was lucky to be able to get out of the house for most days since Draco was home, and the Silence Spell placed over his rooms helped too. Yet even in the little time he spent around the house, that noise was driving him insane.

"Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!"

Lucius covered his ears with his hands. Despite the annoyance, he wasn’t in a hurry to get to the source just yet. He was never much for children anyway; he didn’t know how to act around them. Babies were no exception and Lucius was angry that Narcissa couldn’t take care of whatever was wrong with Draco herself. She had always acted as if Lucius had no idea what childrearing was.

For instance, after the first couple days of putting up with the child’s wails, Lucius suggested to her that he put a Mute Spell on Draco, to quiet him for a month or so. Narcissa had been so shocked to hear such a thing that she refused to let Lucius lay a hand on the baby, lest he perform the spell.

"How could you be so callous??" she had retorted earlier, clutching the baby to her breast. "What do you want to do, scar him for life?"

But it was only a suggestion! Narcissa shouldn’t be getting on his back just for that! He didn’t remember any of his memories as a baby, so how could a couple months as a mute affect Draco?

At least, she would see that I meant well, Lucius thought smugly. He was slowly making his way down the hall toward the nursery, taking as much time as possible. She is the one who has to deal with the baby after all.

Stopping by the nursery door, Lucius peered around the doorway to see his wife pacing the room, rocking a shrieking Draco in her arms. Narcissa was a mess. Her sleeping robes were disheveled, and her long, blonde hair was a tangled mop on her head. Her face was unadorned without the usual mask of perfect make-up, and Lucius could see the little wrinkle lines on her forehead and the dark circles under her eyes. He realized that Narcissa must have been through this every night, and the effect was taking its toll on her.

Narcissa sang to Draco, rocking him gently as she made her way back and forth across the room. In a tired, scratchy voice, she whispered a lullaby that Lucius wasn’t familiar with. A Muggle one, judging by the words.

"Hush, little baby,

don't say a word,

Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird."

Narcissa brushed a lock of hair that was falling over her face. She continued her administrations diligently, though her voice kept cracking on every other word.

"And if that mockingbird won't sing,

Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

And if that diamond ring turns brass,

Mama's going to buy you a looking glass."

"Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!"

She choked on the last line and stopped. Standing in the middle of the room, Narcissa forlornly held the child in her arms. Draco’s crying was blocking out the sound of her voice, and now Narcissa looked like she was ready to join him.

"Narcissa?" Lucius said from the doorway.

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Narcissa sniffed loudly, unable to hear his words. "Oh Draco," she moaned, holding the baby tighter, "why won’t you stop crying..?" She shook her head and hiccuped as she started blubbering. "I fed you an hour ago, and your diaper’s not wet...!"

"Narcissa!" Lucius called louder.

"You’re not too cold or too hot," Narcissa lamented, "I did everything it said in the book..!" She gave a swift kick to a volume that lay on the nursery floor: A Wizard Parent’s Guide to Child Care. It tumbled over to the corner of the room and bumped into the bureau. "Oh, why can’t you just SHUT UP??"

"NARCISSA!"

She jumped at the sound of his voice and whirled around to face him. "Lucius!" she pleaded. "Help me! Draco won’t st-st-stop...!" It was all too much for her and Narcissa broke down. Draco’s screams met with his mother’s, forming a bawling duet.

Lucius stepped into the room, his hands still over his ears. "Have you tried everything?" he demanded.

"I-I did!" Narcissa hiccuped. Her shoulders slumped forward, and her tired arms seemed to lose their grip on Draco. Lucius took the baby in his arms before Narcissa dropped the child on the floor. Narcissa collapsed to her knees. "I-I t-tried everything!" She was obviously at her wit’s end.

"I’ll take care of it then," Lucius said sharply. Her befuddled attitude annoyed him and her seeming incompetence with the baby increased his ire. "Go to sleep!"

Narcissa looked up at him through tear-stained eyes. "Y-you’re not going to-" she started fearfully.

Lucius sighed. "No, I’m not going to put the Mute Spell on him," he promised gruffly. "Now go to bed! You look absolutely pathetic!"

"Oh God, thank you, Lucius!" Narcissa struggled to her feet and stumbled out of nursery, leaving the two alone.

Draco seemed to notice the absence of his mother, and his crying became unbearably loud.

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Lucius held the baby awkwardly, uncomfortable with the weight in his arms. He shifted his position so that Draco was leaning forward against his shoulder.

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" Draco screamed into his ear. Lucius grumbled and took the wand in his free hand to put a Deafening Charm over his ears. The world grew silent, and Draco’s outbursts were only signified by the strained expression on his face.

Now that he had the quiet he needed, Lucius realized that he was at a loss. What did he know about babies? Nothing at all -- Narcissa had taken care of everything, and even she had depended on that parental book for help. He had no idea what to do.

So Lucius began copying his wife’s actions. He slowly paced the room, rubbing his hand in a circular motion on the baby’s back. After a few minutes, he knew that this wasn’t working. One look over at Draco’s gaping mouth and shut eyes told him that he was still crying.

What else did his wife do? Oh yes, a song. Lucius didn’t know any child songs off-hand and scanned his memory for anything. He was not a music person, and the only tune he could think of was the Death Eaters anthem. Of course he couldn’t start singing that aloud.

A faint memory of his own mother came to mind. Sitting in her lap by the fireplace in an old rocking chair. The sound of her soft voice in his ear as he drifted off to sleep.... Lucius was surprised that he could even recall something so far back. He strained to remember the words to her song. Ah, it was only a variation of the Muggle ditty Narcissa warbled.

"Hush little baby,

don’t you squall,

Daddy’s gonna buy you a crystal ball.

And if you still can’t see beyond

Daddy’s gonna by you a magic wand."

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Draco was screaming so loud that it even got past the magic placed on his ears. Lucius was beginning to get frustrated. This was much harder than he originally thought.

He looked over to where A Wizard Parent’s Guide to Child Care lay ignored by the bureau. Was there something in there?

Lucius picked up the book with his free hand and looked for a place to sit. A new rocking chair was nearby, made of maplewood and coated in shining dark lacquer. He sat himself down in it. The chair tipped back on its rockers to accompany his weight.

Flipping rapidly through the pages, Lucius scanned them by the light of his wand. Crying... crying... crying... oh, there it was. He read the passage quickly.

Crying - Since a baby cannot communicate through speech, all its needs are expressed through crying. Any wizard parent can be puzzled by such a vague expression. It could mean anything from expressing basic needs such as hunger or diaper-changing to something more complex, such as actually articulating thoughts or feelings. Most medical experts debate on whether a baby can express emotional concerns through crying, but most research shows that crying applies to all needs, physical and emotional.

Colic is a condition in which your child suffers from excessive crying or fussiness for long periods of time, sometimes at all hours, but most likely during late afternoon to early evening. There is no solid explanation as to why this condition occurs, and some witch doctors appoint it to an immature digestive track or nervous system, or a temperament prone to over-sensitivity. Yet whatever the reason, a colicky baby is not something wizard parents should blame themselves for. Most colicky babies show symptoms starting at the age of two weeks and can last from 3 to 4 months. The only cure to this is to bide your time, and spend as much time with your child as possible to soothe his or her fears.

"Three to four months!" Lucius threw the book across the room, slamming it against the far wall. "The doctors said two!"

"Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Draco!" Lucius groaned and slumped in the chair. Did he have to put up with this all night?? He sighed and started rocking the chair back and forth. It gave something for him to focus on instead of Draco’s crying.

The chair’s motion calmed his nerves a little, but didn’t seem to help Draco at all. Draco seemed to have gone hoarse in his wailing, his voice sounding dry and bitter. His little eyes were squinted and shut, and his mouth was opened in an almost exaggerated way on his face as he cried out.

"Waahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhh!"

Lucius put his free hand to his forehead and looked away from the baby. What was bothering Draco so much?? The screams were so piercing and earsplitting that Lucius didn’t believe that book. If anything triggered Draco’s tears, it certainly wasn’t an immature digestive track.

He raised Draco higher on his shoulder, so he wasn’t crying into his chest. Little wet spots were on his sleeping robes where the tears had landed.

"How can you cry so much?" Lucius asked warily, half to himself and half to the child. "What do you want?"

Draco gave the usual response. "Waahhhhh!"

"Silence, please!" Lucius shouted angrily. He was driven so much as to shake the child in order to quiet it, but didn’t make a move to. He could never hurt Draco, not even to stop his crying.

Another octave higher. "Waaahhhhhhhhh!"

"All right, I’m sorry I yelled," Lucius said frivolously, and amazingly, Draco modulated his screams. Lucius stopped his rocking. Had the baby actually understood him?

Draco increased his wails and Lucius remembered to continue rocking the chair again. "Okay, okay, I get it," he muttered. "Whatever makes you happy."

As he did so, Lucius wondered, How much can a baby comprehend? If Draco just listened to me now, what did he understand earlier? How much did he know?

"You want to talk?" Lucius asked his son. "Fine, we’ll talk."

He turned to Draco and said, "I suppose you know who you are well enough. You’re the first-born son to the Malfoy family. Our only son, if I guess well enough. I don’t want to go through this mess again."

At his words, Draco opened his eyes a bit wider and relaxed his face. He was listening!

"But that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you, Draco," he went on. "I do, just not in the way you want me to."

Draco’s crying lessened, something Lucius noticed. He continued faster before it started up again.

"I don’t know how much you can remember. Hell, I didn’t know that babies remembered anything. I know that I haven’t been around much. Maybe you wanted me to hold you. I don’t know. But I just-" He paused and slowed down his rocking for a moment. "I just don’t like children, that’s all," he concluded.

The truth wasn’t helping. Draco’s tears flowed down his chubby cheeks. "Wahhhhhhhhh..."

"But you’re not just any child, Draco," Lucius said. "You’re... well, you’re my son." His voice became soft. "I was afraid to hold you before. I didn’t want to have any contact with you whatsoever. What if I did something wrong? What if I can’t be the father you want me to be?"

He sighed. "Stupid thoughts," he muttered. "Never thought about caring for another person before you, not even with your own mother."

He then realized that he had stopped the rocking chair. Yet Draco...

The baby was quiet for the first time in two weeks, staring at Lucius with an intensity that was beyond his young age.

"I’m not sure how far memories go, but..." Lucius paused. "if you ever remember this when you’re older, I want you to know that I wanted to. I wanted to be a good father. And if, years from now, something happens..."

He gave a small smile. This silence was blissful. Draco squirmed in his arms and he glanced down at his son. "If I hadn’t been the father you would like me to be... I just want you to know that I tried. And I was scared. Yet I wanted to. I wanted to try and be a father, even if it’s just for this night."

Lucius leaned back into the chair and started rocking again. Draco did not break his stare, yet Lucius became aware of how tired he was, now that peace had descended upon the house.

"Good Night, Draco," he murmured, closing his eyes.

***

Narcissa woke up with a start in her own bed. For the first time in two weeks, Narcissa managed to sleep for more than three hours straight. Getting up and stretching, she noticed something extraordinary. The house was totally quiet.

"Oh my god, Draco!" she whispered, throwing back the covers. "Lucius couldn’t have-!"

She and Lucius had separate bedrooms, and so she went over to his room to check if he was still there. The door was ajar, and the bed sheets were rumpled from the night before, but Lucius wasn’t there.

"If he put that Mute Spell on Draco..." Narcissa muttered to herself, running down to the nursery.

However, the sight she beheld made her stop short at the nursery entrance. For there was Lucius sitting on the slightly swaying rocking chair with Draco in his arms. Both were fast asleep.