For You

I waited for you,

I died inside my own head,

And I'd die again,

For you,

I waited for you. I tried to talk to you, get you to open up, sacrificed everything so that you could maybe, possibly, someday be ok. I died to myself, I cried to myself. You didn't see how it really was. I loved you, I loved everything about you. I tried to save you too. I gave everything away just so I could save you. But you don't love me, not like I love you.

I'm faded and tired,

Completely uninspired,

And I'd die again,

For you,

I'm tired. I poured my very soul out just to make you happy. In turn I've forgotten how to be happy myself. Every time I see you with her it feels like the knife in my heart is being twisted. And maybe it is. Maybe someday the aching pain will go away forever, but that day is not today. I'm pathetic, I've exhausted myself. I can think of no more ways to help you. I gave everything up, and I'd do it again, just to make sure you're happy.

So kill me with the love that you won't give to me,

Give to me,

And pack the wound with salt I want to feel it bleed,

Feel it bleed,

The first trace of crimson on my porcelain skin makes me smile. The color matches your lips exactly. Blood drops to the floor and I smile wider. I've succeeded in releasing the pain. Drip, drop, drip, drop. Like a leaky faucet, it falls to the floor, one scarlet teardrop after another. This is the way I deal with what you've done to me, the way you've destroyed me. You're killing me with the love that you won't give to me. You keep it just out of my reach and I've given up trying to jump and snatch it from your grasp help high over your head. I feel like a little girl again. The blood is coming faster now; I heal it and scour the floor. It doesn't hide the scar, but maybe I don't want it to. Maybe if you will just see how much I love you then I'll get what I want.

I'm searching for reasons,

To keep away the demons,

And I'd die again,

For you,

I wonder why I don't just die. I feel like getting back at you for all you've put me through. I'm just a throw away, a side dish, something that comes with everything you ever wanted. I've kept you from killing yourself a fair few times, and you just shoved it in my face. Maybe if you could see the scars or the tears or the blood then you would save me from dying. Ha-ha. That's a joke, as if you'll ever notice. You're hero boy, all perfect and unnoticing, knowing very well that people would kill to be you. All the girls that fawn over you after you finished off the Dark Lord make me sick. Can't they see how repulsive you truly are? You're horrible, killing a girl like this. You don't even give me a second glance anymore. You rarely say hi. Ha-ha. No idea why I didn't see this coming.

I wish you were near me,

Could feel it when you hear me say,

I'd die again,

For you,

I left, you didn't notice, did you. I didn't stay at your stupid party with all those stupid people and those women that'll end up in your room tonight. You're sick. You make me sick, but yet I love you, I want you to love me too. My childish ways have grown to this. Look at the scars, boy, just look at them! I lost count around forty, all over my body, killing me, burning me. And I'd do everything again, just to make you happy. You aren't happy. Ha-ha, far from it. Remember Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore? Remember Molly, Arthur, McGonagall? Remember Bill, Hermione, Ron? Do you remember now? Do you feel pain now? You've ignored it for so long, been so under the influence, you haven't noticed. I'm the only one left, you know. The only one. You drink to drown your feelings now; I drink to kill the pain. But it comes back so I have to release it. Your crazy, got it? Crazy. You sicken me. Go to hell. Ok don't, I love you too much, but your love is unattainable.

So kill me with the love that you won't give to me,

Give to me,

And pack the wound with salt I want to feel it bleed,

Feel it bleed,

You wanted me to crawl so now I'm on my knees,

On my knees,

I did it again, I didn't think I would, but I did. It drips yet t doesn't burn, it merely feels relieving. Blood is a beautiful thing. You've turned into a skank, screwing girls dressed in this color while I pour out this particular shade. I bet what you do doesn't give you as much relief as this does for me. Maybe someday I won't stop the flow of blood, maybe someday I'll just let everything go fuzzy and die. That day is not today. I heal the cut and scour the floor. Over and over again, just one more cut, one more time to bleed. Can't you see what I've become? I crawl into your presence, I beg for your acknowledgement. Please help me, heal me...I'm begging you, I'm on my knees as if you're a god, but then again, you are a god. To everyone you're their god. Perfect you.

Why does it always have to be me?

That's always left out to burn?

And I'll never learn...

I'm stupid, so stupid. Stupid for ever getting attached to you, stupid for ever loving you, stupid for ever trying to save you. You didn't deserve it. Look at you! You disgusting excuse for a decent human being. No one in their right mind would treat someone like you've treated me. Yet I'd do it all again just to save you, just to heal you, and you could never return the favor. I love you, but you'll never understand anything at all. Continue shagging those girls; continue in your state of detachment. You're insane, you're sick, but yet I love you; Harry James Potter.